I've been thinking a lot about
expectations
for the past few days.
My friend's mother is undergoing
chemotherapy and stem cell replacement.
She was admitted to the hospital
a couple of days ago but
that doesn't really mean things are going bad.
It's to be expected.
I picked up a new prescription
and the pharmacist
shared with me the possible
side effects I could expect.
My daughter brought me the
4th book in the Twilight Series
by Stephenie Myers.
I should be excited about reading it
but I expect that it isn't
going to be as good as I would like
or have the ending that I would choose.
(You see I am a Jacob fan.
Go figure.)
I expect to be disappointed.
My youngest shared some
unexpected news with me yesterday.
He expects to fail his math class
because the homework I expected
he was doing didn't get done.
According to him, the teacher
expects him to know how to do the work
even though she doesn't do any teaching
like we would expect a teacher to do.
He wants to drop the class and
have a study hall 4th hour
and try again next semester,
but he expects
me to say no
and he expects
his dad to say no too.
My oldest and her hubby
bought a NEW couch that
I didn't expect.
I never expected that
my children would buy
NEW couches before I did
and now two of them have.
I expect that if I
walked into a furniture store
and said "I want to buy that
"NEW couch" that I would
walk out of the store
the new owner of a NEW couch.
However, the reason I haven't done that
is I don't expect
that a NEW couch
would make me happy.
I expect a NEW couch
to just be something else
for me to worry about
and feel bad about
when it got dirty
or broken
or not NEW anymore
and I expect those things
would happen.
Today is my birthday.
Sometimes my birthdays
have not lived up to my expectations.
Over the years
I have lowered my expectations
and it has made me
a happier birthday girl.
Anything good that happens
is more than I expected.
Like the phone call
I just got from my mom
and didn't expect.
So, are expectations
good or bad or neither?
Should they be high
or low?
Lowering my birthday expectations
seems to have been a good thing but
should I lower my expectations
where the son and his math class are concerned?
Perhaps high expectations
will bring the desired result there.
However, when I go to a movie
with high expectations
I am often disappointed.
Take "Forest Gump" and
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding"
for example, both good movies
that I don't care for
because they didn't live
up to my high expectations.
If I had gone into either of those movies
with lower expectations,
I think they would be on my
"movies I really like" list.
Does that mean if I put high expectations
on my son
nd he doesn't meet them
I will have to take him off
my "Righteous Children I really like" list?
How about with the medication?
Do I get nauseated and tired
because that little white pill
really has that side effect for me
or because I expect to feel
nauseated and tired?
Or should I always have
old, ugly furniture
because I expectNEW furniture
to get ugly and old?
I suspect there is something
wrong with that logic.
When I was going to BYU,
studying to be a teacher,
we learned about self-fulfilling prophecies.
If you place high or low expectations
on children or events or things
often those expectations
become self-fulfilling prophecies
and you get what you expect.
We all know people that expect
good things to happen to them,
and they do and
we all know people that expect
bad things to happen to them
and they do.
Is that because of their expectations?
So if I expect to be disappointed
in the book I will be?
Then why when I expected the movies
to be great weren't they?
Or when I expected the son to
be doing his homework
when he said he was
didn't he?
Didn't I expect hard enough
or high enough
or sincerely enough?
I expect to be pondering these questions
and others like them,
for a long, long time.
expectations
for the past few days.
My friend's mother is undergoing
chemotherapy and stem cell replacement.
She was admitted to the hospital
a couple of days ago but
that doesn't really mean things are going bad.
It's to be expected.
I picked up a new prescription
and the pharmacist
shared with me the possible
side effects I could expect.
My daughter brought me the
4th book in the Twilight Series
by Stephenie Myers.
I should be excited about reading it
but I expect that it isn't
going to be as good as I would like
or have the ending that I would choose.
(You see I am a Jacob fan.
Go figure.)
I expect to be disappointed.
My youngest shared some
unexpected news with me yesterday.
He expects to fail his math class
because the homework I expected
he was doing didn't get done.
According to him, the teacher
expects him to know how to do the work
even though she doesn't do any teaching
like we would expect a teacher to do.
He wants to drop the class and
have a study hall 4th hour
and try again next semester,
but he expects
me to say no
and he expects
his dad to say no too.
My oldest and her hubby
bought a NEW couch that
I didn't expect.
I never expected that
my children would buy
NEW couches before I did
and now two of them have.
I expect that if I
walked into a furniture store
and said "I want to buy that
"NEW couch" that I would
walk out of the store
the new owner of a NEW couch.
However, the reason I haven't done that
is I don't expect
that a NEW couch
would make me happy.
I expect a NEW couch
to just be something else
for me to worry about
and feel bad about
when it got dirty
or broken
or not NEW anymore
and I expect those things
would happen.
Today is my birthday.
Sometimes my birthdays
have not lived up to my expectations.
Over the years
I have lowered my expectations
and it has made me
a happier birthday girl.
Anything good that happens
is more than I expected.
Like the phone call
I just got from my mom
and didn't expect.
So, are expectations
good or bad or neither?
Should they be high
or low?
Lowering my birthday expectations
seems to have been a good thing but
should I lower my expectations
where the son and his math class are concerned?
Perhaps high expectations
will bring the desired result there.
However, when I go to a movie
with high expectations
I am often disappointed.
Take "Forest Gump" and
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding"
for example, both good movies
that I don't care for
because they didn't live
up to my high expectations.
If I had gone into either of those movies
with lower expectations,
I think they would be on my
"movies I really like" list.
Does that mean if I put high expectations
on my son
nd he doesn't meet them
I will have to take him off
my "Righteous Children I really like" list?
How about with the medication?
Do I get nauseated and tired
because that little white pill
really has that side effect for me
or because I expect to feel
nauseated and tired?
Or should I always have
old, ugly furniture
because I expectNEW furniture
to get ugly and old?
I suspect there is something
wrong with that logic.
When I was going to BYU,
studying to be a teacher,
we learned about self-fulfilling prophecies.
If you place high or low expectations
on children or events or things
often those expectations
become self-fulfilling prophecies
and you get what you expect.
We all know people that expect
good things to happen to them,
and they do and
we all know people that expect
bad things to happen to them
and they do.
Is that because of their expectations?
So if I expect to be disappointed
in the book I will be?
Then why when I expected the movies
to be great weren't they?
Or when I expected the son to
be doing his homework
when he said he was
didn't he?
Didn't I expect hard enough
or high enough
or sincerely enough?
I expect to be pondering these questions
and others like them,
for a long, long time.
Today I am thankful for
Birthday Surprises - phone calls, e-mails, cards, gifts, visits, a rain storm, 64 degrees, and door bell ditchers.
Opportunities to reflect and set goals.
the fact that marching band music is usually played outside. It was a great concert, but LOUD!
My birthmonth gift today was free birthday lunch at Denny's with my hubby. They even decorated with birthday banners, just for me.
5 comments:
deep thoughts for a birthday! ALl kidding aside i hope you have a great day--and that your family finds time to squeeze you in and do something nice. I too have low birthday expectations--I guess that way you won't be disappointed and anything else is a plus. As for the math---if he says he is doing it you should expect he has--if he is having problems you should expect by his junior year to go and get help and he should expect you to say NO to study hall. Just cuz things get tough you don't quit--he should expect that there are times in life that you have to work harder than others and he will have to figure that one out.Good luck with that one birthday girl--I expect you will do what is right for that kid.
And keep him on that list--I expect him to rise to it!
Happy day to you girl and we want to do lunch again for your birthday--someplace with a smaller menu--LOL
i learned long ago that there is really only one thing (cluster of a things) that i expect, because i know that it is what i can count on. i know Heavenly Father. i know his love for me and everyone else around me. i know what He EXPECTS of me, and so that is all that i exoect of myself or anyone else.I expect Him to bless me, because i know He will. i expect Him to ALWAYS do whats best for me (if i let him), because He ALWAYS has. i expect that He will never disappoint me and my expectations. i expect Him to be there for me, and i feel Him in my life at all times. i expect Him to help me to learn more about Him, and He does. i expect Him to answer my prayers, and He always has and always will. i expect to be like Him someday, and i know that i can be. i expect to be happy, and i expect to be sad, but through it all, i expect Him to be right there, holding me, caring for me, letting me know that, no matter what, i can always expect it to turn out the way He has planned. expectations mean nothing, unless you expect the Lord to help you through them, the good and the bad. a blog won't help you expect more or less, right or wrong, only He can do that, and you can expect He will. i love you. happy birthday. <3. aloha.
I expect you're both right.
I bet you didn't expect to get a comment from me ah...
happy birthday!
I think that is an interesting word. Expectations. Sometimes when I have been the most disappointed in life was when something didn't meet my expectation, not so much with others, but with myself. I have always felt that others had these expectations of me, but in reality, it is only me that expects and pushes myself. Often we need to change our expectation, not necessarily lower it, but have a different one. Too high of expectations smacks of perfectionism, which I hate, but do seek on occasion. Books and movies, well they are what they are and I have many books I never finish because they weren't what I expected, even walked out of movies for the same reason. Being a math teacher (sorry Jace) I expect my students to do their homework and ask questions if they don't understand, to be proactive for their grade. I don't know any teachers who want to see a student frustrated, but I really push being responsible. What are Jace's expectations for the class? What were they at the beginning? I have many who expect they won't understand and will fail. Self fullfilling prophecy. I love Janaya's response. What does the Lord expect of me? To do my best, whatever that is. To evaluate and reset my goal as things progress.
I'll bet you didn't expect a respose from me. Hope you had a very happy birthday. Age is relative. We love your daughter, thanks for sharing her with us.
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