Family Relations

I have been wondering about something. It has to do with extended family and how I refer to them. I have noticed that when I talk about our (my husbands and my) relatives I seem to believe in segregation. For instance, I usually refer to our nieces as "my niece" (of which there is only one) or "my hubby's niece" (of which there are many) instead of just saying our niece. I'm trying to decide why I make this differentiation. When I think of my aunts and uncles, I feel equally related to both of them - the one I am actually related to by blood as well as the one I am related to by marriage. They are both my Aunt and/or Uncle regardless of the official relationship and I consider myself their niece, not her niece or his niece. When I designate "mine" or "his" does it sound like I value one relative over the other? I really don't think I do, but I kind of think it sounds like it. I do think when you just say our _____ that it can sometimes be confusing. Quite a few years ago there was a young man in our ward who had just returned from his mission. One of my nephews was serving in this same mission and my husband struck up a conversation with this RM. He said, "I have a nephew that is in the same mission you just got home from. His name is Elder ______. Did you know him?" This young man looked at my husband and then looked at him again and said, "I knew an Elder ________, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't your nephew." You see this nephew is quite fair and probably the blondest nephew I have, and the elder could see that my hubby was obviously Native American. My husband laughed and said, "Actually he's my wife's nephew" which helped to clear things up and they decided that yes, it was the same person. It's obvious that my husband is more inclusive than I am, but he ended up having to differentiate anyway, so perhaps he should have just done it in the beginning.
So, I am curious. How do you refer to the relatives you have acquired through marriage? Do you lump everyone into the "our" category or do you separate them into "your ____" and "my ______"? Do you think there is a right way or a wrong way to do it or does it really not matter? Does the distance of the relationship make a difference in what you say? Take for instance, do you say my brother and his brother but refer to the nieces, nephews and cousins as our? In some relationships we have the option of using the ending in-law as in brother-in-law or mother-in-law. but I don't think I've ever heard of anyone referring to someone as their nephew-in-law or their cousin-in-law. Is anyone out there an etiquette expert? Is there some official, written guideline that I need to refer to? And what about the wives of my nephews? Are they now my nieces or our nieces or no nieces at all? Sometimes life can get very complicated.

Sometimes I Love the Way Teenagers Think

I am friends on facebook with a teenage girl in our ward. Her status earlier tonight was as follows:

is officially looking into emancipation when i'm 18. the mega (bad word referring to her mother) has officially exceeded her high.

This was one of the comments:

whhhhhhaaaat??? what happened?? can't you get emancipated at 16?

And the teenager's response:

ooh hey i would. but they wouldn't get me a car if i did:/ so i gotta tough it out a little while longer.

I really needed a good laugh tonight and this gave me one. My youngest son gave me an even better laugh, but he has made me vow that no one will ever see the incriminating video I have of him.

Teenagers. You gotta love 'em.

All Done?

Tonight we had a Stake Fireside for the youth and their parents as an introduction to this upcoming year's youth conference theme. The focus is on Family History. When the youth arrived they were given an index card with a name and a date on it. The high councilman who was in charge invited everyone to imagine they were in the temple waiting to do baptisms for the dead. Then some individuals and families all dressed in white entered the chapel and were seated on the stand. They were introduced as individuals who were waiting for their temple work to be completed. The first person came to the podium and introduced himself and told a little about his history and then asked if anyone had his name. No one did and he returned to his seat on the stand. After the next person spoke she asked if someone had her name and someone did and she excitedly left the stage and went and sat by the individual with her card. Next was a son whose work had been done, but was there with his father wanting to see if his name had been found. The father still had to wait. There were several more individuals and several families or parts of families with compelling stories. The last group to speak was a mother, father and 5 children. The mother introduced them and then asked if anyone had her children's names (all but the youngest daughter left the stand). Then the mother asked if anyone had her name and she had been found as well. The father put his arm around the daughter and told her they could wait together, but the daughter told him he needed to ask if anyone had his name. He asked and was called down. It was a very tender, thought provoking moment when the father moved into the audience and the daughter returned to her seat on the stand. This enactment really made me think about the possible fragmented families that are waiting on the other side of the veil for me or someone else to link their family together for eternity. This fireside motivated me to want to increase my family history efforts. Hopefully it inspired the youth as well. I guess time will tell over the next few months as they are involved in a multitude of Family History activities. I think it sounds fun!

I have been blessed with diligent family members who have been involved in faithfully doing our family history for generations. I have often felt that the work has already been done for many of my ancestors, and it very likely has been. This evening I was reminded however of the possibility that someone has been missed. With the increased technology now available I could very easily be the one to find that missing person.

I think this sidebar in an article in the October 2009 Ensign says it well.

All Done?

Some say, "My family history is all done." Others say, "Uncle Fred is doing it all."
That's a bit like saying. "I don't go to Church, but that's okay because Uncle Fred goes for me."
The fact is that we need to be personally engaged in family history so our hearts will be turned to our fathers. Then we will forge that welding link between our ancestors and us that is so important to the Lord.
Think about it. We each have four grandparents and that doubles each generation. In 10 generations we have 512 "grandparents" - not counting the thousands of other family members they bore. In 16 generations, we have nearly 33,000 direct ancestors. Our family history hasn't all been done - I guarantee it.

I'm excited that our youth are being given the opportunity to personally be involved in family history and to experience the joy that comes from turning their hearts to their fathers.

Today I am grateful for

youth leaders who work hard to help my children have positive spiritual experiences.
eternal families.
Primary singing time leaders who come and do music in nursery. The children pay a lot more attention to them than they do to me. These same singing time leaders (a young husband and wife team) sang at the fireside tonight also. They both have gorgeous voices and really brought the spirit with their music.

ABC Book of Advice for the New Mother

I decided it would be fun to make an advice book for the oldest daughter for people to write in at her baby shower. I wanted it to have an ABC theme since that was kind of the direction the shower was taking. I spent a while looking for paper and alphabet stickers that I liked for the pages and was really happy to find a book of paper by K and Company that had one sheet with the letters A through Z all with a baby theme. It was also 40% off at Michaels which made it even more attractive.

I cut the paper into letter squares and then my friends and I glued each letter to a pastel paper page that was cut 5 1/2 by 8 1/2. We made two covers using chipboard and paper from the paper stack that I bought. Then we bound it with a metal binding using a Zutter binder (owned by one of the friends). It took all 5 of us to figure out how to make the machine work.

I added a computer generated title and some ribbons on the binding. It was a super easy project (once I decided what paper to use). I think it turned out cute and the advice is really fun to read and hopefully will be helpful.

If any of you have some good advice you would like me to add just put it in a comment and I will write it in. We still have a lot of empty space on some letters.

Today I am grateful that

my husband doesn't stay home from work every day. Even though I like having him around I get more accomplished when he goes to work.

the oldest son was well enough to go to work today.

the oldest daughter came to dinner so the hubby and I didn't have to eat all the food by ourselves.

I have helpful friends with fun toys.

One year ago today - Canyon Colors, Eeewww! Gross!

On the Same Calendar?

I have been catching up on people's blogs and I decided what my recent blogging problem is. I don't have any cute babies to take pictures of, show off and talk about. There is hope though. If all goes according to schedule, in less than a month I will have a grandson to feature in my thus far baby deprived blog. However, I'm not sure if this baby is familiar with the word schedule yet. Today the daughter had one of her now weekly appointments with her doctor. He was kind enough to inform her that there was very little possibility of this not so little boy arriving early. In fact, there was no sign that delivery was anywhere close. His comment to her was "I wonder if this baby is on the same calendar as we are?" That observation was fine until he added "2009 that is.". The good thing is that the daughter wasn't even offended by his statement. I'm glad to know that she's not desperate to be "un-pregnant" yet, especially if this child is planning on taking his own sweet time. I do hope though that he decides to show up before the new year arrives and I'm pretty sure the daughter does too.

Today I am thankful

for a relatively enjoyable telephone repair experience. This morning our house phone kept ringing but it would either disconnect when we picked it up or stop ringing after the first ring. I tried calling it with my cell phone and even though the screen on the home phone said it was ringing there was no sound. On the cell phone it just rang and rang. I picked the cordless up and it had a dial tone, but when I tried to dial out it would immediately connect with some ongoing conversation in Spanish. I called Qwest, answered the automated questions and then pushed option 3 to speak to a representative. In less than 60 seconds I was connected to "Howard out of Salt Lake" who kindly, courteously, quickly (and in perfect Utah English) determined what was causing my problem and scheduled me for a repair for later this very same day. Howard and I also had a bonding moment when it came to light that his wife and I have the exact same first and last name, even spelled the way I spell it. It wasn't until the end of our conversation that I realized I had been speaking with Howard Johnson. Apparently the motel business isn't doing too well and he has picked up a second job with the phone company. I am happy to say that the telephone is once again functioning properly!
that my daughter is the one who is pregnant in Arizona in September.
for hand sanitizer. I have a little hospital germ phobia after our enrichment class on the Swine Flu last night.

One year ago today - Cemetery Thoughts, The Fruits of Fall

Today I'm thankful that

nursery is only two hours long.
my hometeacher has no say in who the next Relief Society President in our ward is.
our bishopric plans uplifting, enjoyable firesides for our youth.

One year ago today - Cake Decorating 101, Sometimes I Feel Old

Old Friends

This morning our group of friends went out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel to celebrate two September birthdays. We had a difficult time figuring out a time that we could all be present, but it was finally decided that if we arrived at 6:45 AM it could work. We enjoyed the food, the friendship and the 75 percent off sidewalk sale they were having.
One of the birthday girls requested that we get our picture taken in the rocking chairs on the front porch in honor of the fact that we are all getting old.

We are sitting oldest to youngest in this picture. I am the truly ancient one followed somewhat close behind by the next three. The two young uns' on the end are just barely in their 40s, but according to them they are beginning to feel a little older as well.

Here's to many more birthday breakfasts before we take up permanent residence in our rockers.

The Grandma Car

When my mom decided that she was ready to move to an assisted living facility she also decided that she was ready to not drive anymore. She had a nice vehicle that she no longer needed and we told her we were interested in acquiring it. The youngest daughter was receiving some money from a trust fund she had with the tribe and was wanting to buy a new car with 4 wheel drive to take to Idaho with her. The hubby and I thought that my mom's car would be a great fit for her needs since it had the 4 wheel drive that she wanted, low miles, a history that we were familiar with and was being offered for a great price. However, the daughter had other ideas. She said this car looked like a "Grandma Car" because it had a gold interior. Well, the hubby and I decided that we weren't too worried about the color of the interior of our cars and purchased my mom's car for ourselves.


This car is definitely a step up from what the hubby has been driving to work and the boys in our family have quickly accepted it into our family. The youngest son was concerned though that the car needed a better moniker to go by than "The Grandma Car". After much discussion the new name that this vehicle is now known by is THOR.


We felt like this was a strong name for a strong vehicle. The gold color is reminiscent of the winged helmet that Thor wears and there are even a couple of spots on the exterior of the car that look like they might have come in contact with that mighty sledge hammer that the original Thor has resting on his shoulder.

Thor might be missing the simple, quiet life that he use to enjoy in Utah with my mom, but we are glad that he has joined our family.