Faith

Since Shad went into the hospital and his tumors were discovered a week ago I have been blessed with an overwhelming sense of peace that this is God's plan for him and our family and that all will be well.  That doesn't mean that I know the details of His plan or understand how this part of the story will turn out. I am not really sure  what WELL actually means.  

I am a realist and I know that Shad is a very sick little boy and that he may not get better or that if he does get better he may have some continuing problems for his entire life, but I am also a woman of faith and I know that our loving Heavenly Father has the power and the ability to heal anyone, in any circumstance.  

Sometimes these two sides of me get into an internal battle for power. 

There are times when I have all the faith in the universe that Shad will come through this whole and completely healthy.  There are other times that I realized how naive that idea sounds and then war ensues. 

I have thought fervently and often of the scripture found in Mark 9: 24

"... Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

On Wednesday I carried my General Conference issue of the Ensign magazine into the surgical waiting room to read while we waited during Shad's surgery.  I opened the cover and began to peruse the titles of the talks.  

Now, I am a very emotional person.  I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I cry when I'm happy.  I cry when I'm sad.  I cry when I feel the spirit. I excel in crying. The waiting room was almost entirely full and I didn't particularly want to cry in front of all those strangers, so I was having a little difficulty choosing a talk. When the title alone made me tear up I decided to move on to the next one.  Finally I reached a talk given in the Sunday Afternoon session by Marcus B Nash. The title was "By Faith all Things Are Fulfilled"  I waited. No tears.  This seemed like the one.  

I loved everything about this talk and I would recommend it to anyone, but there was one paragraph that spoke loudly and clearly to me.

Elder Nash said,

"Bearing in mind that faith and reason are necessary companions, consider the following analogy: faith and reason are like the two wings of an aircraft.  Both are essential to maintain flight.  If, from your perspective, reason seems to contradict faith, pause and remember that our perspective is extremely limited compared to the Lord's.  Do not discard faith any more than you would detach a wing from an aircraft in flight.  Instead, nurture a particle of faith and permit the hope it produces to be an anchor to your soul - and to your reason.  That is why we are commanded to 'seek learning ... by study and also by faith.'  Remember, faith precedes and produces miracles for which we have no immediate explanation within our experience."  

Since I read that paragraph I have found myself frequently visualizing "my plane" when I feel a battle beginning in my head or in my heart.

Are both my wings functioning properly?  

Am I flying straight and strong or am I listing to one side?  

Is one wing getting too large and the other withering away?   

As I analyze my thinking and picture my plane, it seems easier to bring everything back into balance.

In a world where reason reigns supreme, there is room and a need for faith. I am striving to have enough of both.

Today I am thankful 

for modern technology.  It is wonderful to be able to send out a mass e-mail or text and know that my friends and family have been updated without having to call or write each one individually.

that the oldest daughter was able to go to the temple with the youth in her ward tonight.  She deserved a break from the hospital and the temple is a wonderful place to go during a trial.

for extra, extra pickles - and 2 that looked like Mickey Mouse - on the grandson's hamburger.  They made him smile. 

There were a lot more pickles before I took the picture!

Shadrach and the Fiery Furnace

The past few days have been very difficult for our family, especially for the oldest daughter, the son-in-law and the grandson.  The three year old "light of my life" is seriously ill.  For more on what he is going through you can go to my daughter's recent blog post.

My grandson's name is Shadrach.  His name comes from one of my favorite Old Testament stories found in the book of Daniel - chapter 3. The other day as my thoughts were drawn to him and his parents I felt inspired to re-read this scripture story. Here's a synopsis of it with a little background information.

About 600 years before Jesus Christ was born, King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon besieged Jerusalem and took captive many of Israel's finest citizens. Among those deported to Babylon were four young men from the tribe of Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah.

In captivity the youths were given new names. Daniel was called Belteshazzar, Hananiah was called Shadrach, Mishael was called Meshach, and Azariah was called Abed-nego.

These four Hebrews excelled in wisdom and knowledge and found favor in King Nebuchadnezzar's eyes. The king put them into service among his most trusted wise men and counselors. When Daniel proved to be the only man capable of interpreting one of Nebuchadnezzar's troubling dreams, the king placed him in a high position over the whole province of Babylon, including all of the wise men of the land. And at Daniel's request, the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego as administrators under Daniel.

As was common at the time, King Nebuchadnezzar built a huge golden image and commanded all the people to fall down and worship it whenever they heard the sound of his musical herald. Anyone who failed to bow and worship the image would be thrown into an immense, blazing furnace.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were determined to worship the one true God only, and thus were reported to the king. Courageously they stood before him as the king pressured the men to deny their God.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.  But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.  (Daniel 3:14-16 KJV)

Furious with pride and rage, Nebuchadnezzar ordered the furnace to be heated seven times hotter than normal. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were bound and cast into the flames. The fiery blast was so hot it killed the soldiers who had escorted them.

But as King Nebuchadnezzar peered into the furnace, he marveled at what he saw: "Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like the Son of God." (Daniel 3:25 KJV)

Then the king called the men to come out of the furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego emerged unharmed, with not even a hair on their heads singed or the smell of smoke on their clothing.

I have always loved the imagery of this story - 3 faithful servants being accompanied and protected by the Son of God during their time in the fiery furnace. It is such an amazing picture and as I read from my scriptures, another beautiful picture appeared in my mind.  My grandson was on his hospital bed with his mom and dad on either side of him, their arms around his shoulders, and there standing behind them, embracing them all was the Savior.  I fervently wish I were an artist and could draw that marvelous scene that I beheld.   

When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego courageously took their stand before Nebuchadnezzar, they didn't know with certainty that God would deliver them. They had no assurance they would survive the flames. But they stood firm anyway. 

And now, my daughter and son-in-law embrace their brave little man in their furnace of affliction and stand firm also, putting their trust in our Heavenly Father's love and his plan for their family. Their faith in their Savior, Jesus Christ, is strong and He will support them in their time of need.  

We do not know what the future holds for our family.  We know that the God we serve is able to deliver Shadrach from this burning, fiery furnace and we have faith and hope that he will,  but if not, we join with other faithful servants in whatever age, in vowing to worship the one true God, regardless of the outcome.  

It's the only way.  

Today I am grateful for 

the faith, love and prayers of family and friends. 

my testimony. 

modern medicine.

Happy Pioneer Day!

Living in Arizona it is sometimes difficult to remember Pioneer Day since it is just another day of the week here and nothing special. I was reading a friend's blog and was grateful for the reminder she gave me that today was a day for reflection. I am grateful for my pioneer ancestors, the Smiths, the Cheevers, the Braithwaites, the Martells, the Stokers, the Rileys ... all those that were probably afraid, but were still willing to take a step (or 2 or 3 or thousands) into the dark because of the faith they had in Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. I often wonder where I would be and what my life would be like if it were not for them and their faith. Did they realize how many lives they would impact when they took that first step? I have been listening to a CD about faith by Jack Christianson. He asks a question in this talk that has caused me to pause and think. "What have I done today in faith?" What choices do I make every day because of faith? Do I read my scriptures because I have faith that it will make a difference in my day and my life? Do I say my prayers having faith that my Heavenly Father is there listening and wanting to bless me? Do I get out of bed with faith that I will eventually feel better if I just get up and make an effort to do something? Do I let my 16 year old get behind the wheel of our van with faith that we will reach our destination safely? Will the choices I make in faith today make a difference in the lives of those that come after me? Do I have faith that they will? Not all pioneers lived a hundred years ago. There are pioneers all around us. My friend's mother has cancer and she is in the process of having her stem cells harvested so she can beat this disease. She is grateful for medical pioneers who spend their time and energy in looking for ways to fight other people's battles. The pioneer that has touched my life the most this year is my son's girlfriend, who is also my daughter's roommate.

She has recently taken a huge step in faith. She made the decision to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was baptised despite opposition from her family. She had faith that this decision would make a positive difference in her life. I sometimes wonder if I would have had the courage and the faith to join the church if I had not been blessed to be born into a family that had already found the gospel. I admire the pioneer spirit I see in this young woman.

I am grateful for all of the pioneers in my life. Hopefully I can remember their faith and follow their example. I really liked the thought my friend ended her blog for today with. I will steal it to complete mine as well.

"Thank heaven we can look backward to remember, forward to hope and be present to find peace and joy!"

I hope you remember what I'm thankful for today from reading this blog. I'm too lazy to write them again.