The Day Dawn is Breaking

I have decided that I need a laptop computer that can hang around my neck so I can take it with me on my morning walks and blog while I walk. This is definitely when I have my most profound and blog worthy thoughts but by the time I get home, eat breakfast, bid farewell to the remaining family members, shower, get dressed and try to be productive for awhile those ideas have simply disappeared.

The past two mornings it has been absolutely beautiful when I have gone walking. As the days get shorter the sun rise comes a little later every day and when I walk at about 6:30 the sky is lightening with a golden glow but the sun has not quite made it over the mountains yet. There have been scattered clouds both mornings that start out so dark and forboding but become much friendlier as they slowly turn pink, purple and yellow.

There is something so hopeful about a sunrise.

No matter how dark things may appear one moment a few minutes pass and everything becomes brighter.

This morning as I watched this change occur a song popped into my head.

"The day dawn is breaking,
the world is awaking,
the clouds of night's darkness
are fleeing away.
The worldwide commotion,
from ocean to ocean,
Now heralds the time
of the beautiful day."

As I thought about this hymn I was reminded how truly blessed I am to live in a day when the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth. I saw a movie in Sunday School a few years ago that depicted the following story:

An elderly gentleman, Robert Mason, had a strange vision. “I was carried away in a vision and found myself in the midst of a vast orchard of fruit trees. I became hungry and wandered through this vast orchard searching for fruit to eat, but I found none. While I stood in amazement finding no fruit in the midst of so many trees, they began to fall to the ground as if torn up by a whirlwind. They continued to fall until there was not a tree standing in the whole orchard. I immediately saw thereafter shoots springing up from the roots and forming themselves into young and beautiful trees. These budded, blossomed, and brought forth fruit which ripened and was the most beautiful to look upon of anything my eyes had ever beheld. I stretched forth my hand and plucked some of the fruit. I gazed upon it with delight; but when I was about to eat of it, the vision closed and I did not taste the fruit.”
At the conclusion of the vision, Mr. Mason had prayed that the Lord would give him the interpretation. “Then the voice of the Lord came to me saying: This is to show you that my Church is not organized among men in the generation to which you belong; but in the days of your children the Church and Kingdom of God shall be made manifest with all the gifts and the blessings enjoyed by the Saints in past ages. You shall live to be made acquainted with it, but shall not partake of its blessings before you depart this life. You will be blest of the Lord after death because you have followed the dictation of my Spirit in this life.’ ”

I still remember had sad I felt for this man as I watched this movie. He was searching so dilligently for the truth and yet was told that he could never enjoy its blessing during his lifetime. At that moment I realized how lucky I was to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

When I got home I looked up the hymn "The Day Dawn is Breaking". The rest of the words
gave me such a feeling of peace and hope.

"In many a temple
the Saints will assemble
And labor as saviors
of dear ones away.
Then happy reunion
and sweetest communion
We’ll have with our friends
in the beautiful day."

It so happened tht the man from the above story, Robert Mason, was a good friend and mentor of Wilford Woodruff, who became a president of the church. “The vision was given to him [Father Mason] about the year 1800,” Elder Woodruff wrote. “He related it to me in 1830, the spring in which the Church was organized. Three years later when I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, almost the first person I thought of was this prophet, Robert Mason. Upon my arrival in Missouri with Zion’s Camp, I wrote him a long letter in which I informed him that I had found the true gospel with all its blessings; that the authority of the Church of Christ had been restored to the earth as he had told me it would be; that I had received the ordinances of baptism and the laying on of hands; that I knew for myself that God had established through Joseph Smith, the Prophet, the Church of Christ upon the earth. He received my letter with great joy and had it read over to him many times. He handled it as he had handled the fruit in the vision. He was very aged and soon died without having the privilege of receiving the ordinances of the gospel at the hands of an elder of the Church. The first opportunity I had after the truth of baptism for the dead was revealed, I went forth and was baptized for him in the temple font of Nauvoo.”
Can't you just picture the sweet reunion of Wilford Woodruff and Robert Mason ? I wonder if Joseph Townsend, the author of this hymn, had any idea when he wrote these words how many temples he was actually refering to?

The song continues -
"Still let us be doing,
our lessons reviewing,
Which God has revealed
for our walk in his way;
And then, wondrous story,
the Lord in his glory
Will come in his pow’r
in the beautiful day."

These words from the 3rd verse describe exactly what I feel the general authorites were trying to share with me during our recent general conference.

Do what the Lord asks you to do, keep the commandments, follow the path that he has laid forth and no matter how unsure the future appears you will know how the story will end. The clouds may be dark and worrisome around me but if I just have faith and hope things will become brighter until Jesus returns and brings with him a truly beautiful day.

Beautiful day of peace and rest,
bright be thy dawn from east to west.
Hail to thine earliest welcome ray,
Beautiful bright millennial day."

Today I am grateful for

the gospel of Jesus Christ to guide my life.
reminders of what I need to focus on.
all the temples throughout the world and the saving ordinances that are performed there for those who died before they were able to partake of the truth and blessings of the restored church of Jesus Christ.

Barking Dogs

There are a few dogs that I associate with on my morning walks around my neighborhood. One of them lives just around the corner, at the beginning of my trek. I have never actually seen this dog, but I hear it every morning. First I hear its running feet traveling quickly across the yard. If I announce myself with a loud "Good Morning Dog" that's the end of it, but if I try to just sneak past the barking starts and lasts until I am a good block away.
Around the next corner there is a good-sized white dog that insists on letting me know he is there. He is usually getting ready to go for his own walk with his owner and she daily assures me that he is just being friendly and saying hello. He is pretty obedient and will sit and be quiet when asked. I think he just likes to talk. There are several other houses where the dogs let me know they can hear me and a couple of other dogs who are usually walking around the neighborhood on leashes. One of the walking dogs actually hops because he only has 3 legs, but that doesn't slow him down. I am not a huge dog fan. I don't dislike them, but I don't really have any desire to have one of my own. I am more of a cat person. It is easy for me to tell if a cat is happy or unhappy to see me. They sound different when they are being friendly. To me dogs always sound like they are mad when they bark Of course, their body language gives some clues, but I always vacillate when an unattended dog is loudly running toward. I usually assume that they come in peace but I will admit I always question their motives the closer and louder they get. I am big on talking to dogs and letting them know that I am a nice person and I have found that to be effective.
I can pretty much assume that the rez dog who gave me this welcome on my leg when I walked past his house a couple of days ago really was mad. Apparently he and his buddies don't speak the same language as the Tempe dogs and didn't understand that I wanted to be friends. I was tricked into paying attention to his biggest companion, who was standing in front of me, while he attacked me from behind and then ran off. I had a pretty good stare down with the 2 mutts that stuck around and I have to admit I did maybe kick one of them before his owner came out and called him off. I guess I'll stick to walking in my own neighborhood from now on. Apparently those Native dogs still hold a grudge against white people and I have to say my leg was pretty white before it was black and blue.

Walking Backwards

Since coming back from Utah I have been very stressed. I'm not sure why. I think it's a combination of a lot of things. The fact that I really wanted my elimination diet to make me feel like a new woman, or at least better, and it didn't. My house that needs my full time attention and me having no desire to give it even 5 minutes worth. My kids and their individual challenges. The Hot, Hot weather that seems like it is never going to end. Just little stuff that seems to have bloomed into a big thing in my mind. I have been wound way too tight and everything has been seeming like more than I can handle. I have felt like I am tied up in knots or tangled up like the phone cord use to get when we use to have a phone with a cord. I've been tempted to hang upside down and spin like I use to do to untangle the phone cord, but I wasn't quite sure how to do it.

Today as I was driving back from dropping the youngest son off at school I was telling myself all the reasons why I should go walking when I got home. You know - it will make me feel better (even though it doesn't), it is cooler now than it will be later, it's good for me, it will give me time to think, it will be one less thing to feel guilty about today... As I was pondering all these thoughts I had the impression that I should walk backwards today, not literally backwards but counter clockwise rather than clockwise. I have some walking routes mapped out in my neighborhood for when I go walking. I have one that is a mile and one that is two miles and some others in between, but no matter which walk I take I always start out going the same direction - North. Going the other direction just seems unnatural to me. However this morning, after I got out of the van and threw the newspaper at the door, I headed off going the other way - South. As I walked I started picturing the playground at the elementary school where I use to work. I could see the kids sitting in the swings twisting them up into a tight knot. Now this was against the rules and normally I would have stopped them, but in my mind I let them twist and twist and twist until those chains were so tight they couldn't go another inch and then the kids lifted their feet and instantaneously began to rapidly unwind. As I walked "backwards" I could actually feel the same thing happening to me. The further I walked the more relaxed and unknotted I began to feel. I imagined a long, long twisted and bumpy rope slowly unwinding and becoming smooth. No more kinks or knots or tension. Just a long, straight rope.

I can't say that all my problems just up and disappeared, but I will say that I feel a lot less uptight about them. Sometimes it's good to just pick up my feet (one at a time) and unwind.

The Arrival of Fall

I have to say that I was a little disappointed when I arrived in Utah last week and it wasn't nearly as Fall like as I had been expecting. In Arizona we have been dreaming of the days when the high temperature will finally fall below 90 degrees and praying that it is just around the corner. Autumn decorations keep popping up on the blogs of friends and acquaintances in Maricopa county wishfully encouraging some hope for relief.

Not so in Utah. Although the temperatures are already below ninety here these Utahns seem to be holding on to Summer with all they've got. I have seen a lot more 4th of July decorations still gracing the doors of neighborhood homes than the traditional pumpkin and scarecrow adornments of Autumn and there was nary a colored leaf on the mountains last Sunday as I was driven south from the airport. I guess these residents realize that after Fall quickly comes Winter and they are not quite ready to welcome that with open arms.

However, I was ecstatic this morning, the official first day of Fall, to wake up to overcast skies and a decidedly crisp feel to the air. If I look really hard at the mountain behind my mom's house I can even pick out scatterings of red leafs finally appearing.

Fall is Here!

On my morning walk (which required a jacket for the first time since I've been here) I was excited to see more evidence of the changing seasons.

Raindrops falling gently on my head,

a few leaves beginning to change color and a brave soul acknowledging that Autumn is upon us by decorating a grave with a harvest flair.

Welcome Autumn.

I wish I could stick around to enjoy all you have to offer.

Today I am thankful for

the opportunity to get to see the changing seasons first hand.

A sister to come and spend time with my mom and me.

the need for a jacket.

The Grass is Always Greener...

When I went on my walk today I saw these two horses that made me laugh. They were standing in a field full of tall green grass that to me looked like pretty great horse food, yet they both had their heads stuck through the fence and their necks extended as far as they could reach eating the grass mixed in with the weeds at the side of the road.

Silly Horses!

A lot of times I am just like those horses. I think that something that is just out of my reach looks so much better and would make me so much happier than something similiar that is more available.

Like at a thrift store. The items that are already in someone else's cart are usually "Just what I would like". I always wish that I had found them first.

Why do we feel that way? Some people would probably call it human nature but obviously it isn't just human nature. These horses felt the same way.

Cemetery Thoughts

When I visit my mom I usually
take my daily walk in the Payson cemetery.

I really like walking in cemeteries.
They are peaceful and quiet
and there's not too much traffic
to have to watch out for.

Cemeteries are also a good place to think.
To reflect on what is important in life.
To ponder on what lasts and what doesn't.
To appreciate how blessed I am
to live in a time
where my children outliving me
is a good possibility.

This row of graves is a sad reminder
that this wasn't always the case.
In her 53-year lifetime this mother
buried 6 children under the age of 1
and another child at 15.

Cemeteries are good places to remember
my ancestors and the choices they made
and the impact those choices
have had on my life.

Cemeteries bring to mind questions
about what I value in life
and where my focus is and
what symbol could or would
be put on my tombstone
to represent me and my interests.

I like tombstones.
I like how firm and permanent they appear.
I like how they remind me of
the walls of the temple
and the covenants and promises
that are made there.
Promises that assure me
that death is not the end
and that I can be with my family again
even though circumstances
may separate us for a time.

I also enjoy the lighter side of cemeteries.
How it seems that some names
were created solely for the purpose
of being engraven on a tombstone.

Today I am thankful for

60 degree temperatures at 10:00 AM.
the ability to walk, even slowly.
thinking time.
Fresh fruits and vegetables.