Faith

Since Shad went into the hospital and his tumors were discovered a week ago I have been blessed with an overwhelming sense of peace that this is God's plan for him and our family and that all will be well.  That doesn't mean that I know the details of His plan or understand how this part of the story will turn out. I am not really sure  what WELL actually means.  

I am a realist and I know that Shad is a very sick little boy and that he may not get better or that if he does get better he may have some continuing problems for his entire life, but I am also a woman of faith and I know that our loving Heavenly Father has the power and the ability to heal anyone, in any circumstance.  

Sometimes these two sides of me get into an internal battle for power. 

There are times when I have all the faith in the universe that Shad will come through this whole and completely healthy.  There are other times that I realized how naive that idea sounds and then war ensues. 

I have thought fervently and often of the scripture found in Mark 9: 24

"... Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

On Wednesday I carried my General Conference issue of the Ensign magazine into the surgical waiting room to read while we waited during Shad's surgery.  I opened the cover and began to peruse the titles of the talks.  

Now, I am a very emotional person.  I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I cry when I'm happy.  I cry when I'm sad.  I cry when I feel the spirit. I excel in crying. The waiting room was almost entirely full and I didn't particularly want to cry in front of all those strangers, so I was having a little difficulty choosing a talk. When the title alone made me tear up I decided to move on to the next one.  Finally I reached a talk given in the Sunday Afternoon session by Marcus B Nash. The title was "By Faith all Things Are Fulfilled"  I waited. No tears.  This seemed like the one.  

I loved everything about this talk and I would recommend it to anyone, but there was one paragraph that spoke loudly and clearly to me.

Elder Nash said,

"Bearing in mind that faith and reason are necessary companions, consider the following analogy: faith and reason are like the two wings of an aircraft.  Both are essential to maintain flight.  If, from your perspective, reason seems to contradict faith, pause and remember that our perspective is extremely limited compared to the Lord's.  Do not discard faith any more than you would detach a wing from an aircraft in flight.  Instead, nurture a particle of faith and permit the hope it produces to be an anchor to your soul - and to your reason.  That is why we are commanded to 'seek learning ... by study and also by faith.'  Remember, faith precedes and produces miracles for which we have no immediate explanation within our experience."  

Since I read that paragraph I have found myself frequently visualizing "my plane" when I feel a battle beginning in my head or in my heart.

Are both my wings functioning properly?  

Am I flying straight and strong or am I listing to one side?  

Is one wing getting too large and the other withering away?   

As I analyze my thinking and picture my plane, it seems easier to bring everything back into balance.

In a world where reason reigns supreme, there is room and a need for faith. I am striving to have enough of both.

Today I am thankful 

for modern technology.  It is wonderful to be able to send out a mass e-mail or text and know that my friends and family have been updated without having to call or write each one individually.

that the oldest daughter was able to go to the temple with the youth in her ward tonight.  She deserved a break from the hospital and the temple is a wonderful place to go during a trial.

for extra, extra pickles - and 2 that looked like Mickey Mouse - on the grandson's hamburger.  They made him smile. 

There were a lot more pickles before I took the picture!

He Knows Better Than I

A couple of days ago one of my youngest son's Sunday School teachers died. He was quite young and has 5 children, ages 16 to 2, 3 under the age of 5. There is some question as to the cause of death, but it is most likely that he died of a drug overdose or committed suicide. He has struggled most of his life with some mental illness and drug abuse. He served a mission and married in the temple, but has had long periods of inactivity followed by a renewed desire to do what is right. His family only lived in our ward for about 6 months, but it was during one of his better periods and he had a very positive influence on my son's life. His death has been difficult for my son to understand and I have also struggled with how much information I should share with him as I hear rumors and stories from many different sources. I have chosen to discuss openly all of the possibilities that I can reasonably substantiate, believing that I would rather he hear it from me and we talk about it than he hear it through gossip and silently wonder and worry about it.

Today after church my son asked me "Why are some people's lives so much harder than others?" This is a question that I often ask myself. It seems like no matter how hard some people try they always have challenges while it seems that life just kind of flows along happily for others. I didn't really know how to answer his question. We talked about how sometimes choices that we make or that other people make result in consequences that bring difficulties with them. I also told him that I think Heavenly Father allows us to have challenges so we can learn the things we need to know here on earth and become the person we need to be. I didn't really feel like my answers had made a difference and I wondered what more I could say. I asked his dad and they discussed the subject for awhile with a lot of the same ideas brought out again. Still, I wondered what he was really thinking about the whole question.

Later in the day this son was sitting in the living room singing. He enjoys singing and I will often hear him repeating his current favorite song over and over again. As he sang I tuned in to hear what song was number 1 on his list at the moment. As he sang the same portion of the song a number of times, I didn't recognize it, but the words became clear to me. What he was repeating was a chorus that said:

You know better than I
you know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For you know better than I.

I still didn't recognize the song, but the message of the song was familiar to me. I felt that this was in part an answer to my question of where my son stood following our discussion from earlier in the day. To me he was acknowledging his faith that I may not have all the answers, and his dad might not have all the answers, but his Heavenly Father has the answers to why. Along with that, the fact that he doesn't know why right now is OK, because God knows why and he knows better than any of us.

I asked the son what the song was and he said it was from the DVD "Joseph King of Dreams". I went online and looked up all the words to the song and was really touched by the entire message.

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

Chorus 1:
You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don't know is part of getting through
I tried to do what's best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing i can do
Is to put my trust in You.

Chorus 2
For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

Coda:
I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If i let You reach me
Will You teach me.
(Repeat Chorus )

For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

I have developed a great love for the story of Joseph over the years. I am amazed by all the things that had to happen to Joseph in order for him to be who he was meant to be and for him to be in a position to literally save his family from death. If he had not been sold into bondage or thrown into prison what would have happened to him and his extended family when the famine occurred? Knowing the end of the story helps me to see the power of God's love and watchful care during the entire experience.

If I could know the end of the story would I better understand the difficulties that occur in my life and in the lives of others? Maybe, but I don't believe I am meant to know the end of the story yet. I need to have faith that Heavenly Father is aware of what is going on. I need to remember that He loves each one of His children, he knows the individual challenges that we each face and he sees the whole picture much better than I do. For right now that is enough for me to know and hopefully it is something that my son is learning as well.

Today I am grateful for

the opportunity to be at church in my own ward. Does it mean I have spent too much time on the road recently if the first thing I do when I sit down on the church bench is look for my seat belt and then I can't concentrate during the meeting because I don't fell safe because I'm not buckled in?
movies that contain positive messages and children who are willing to watch them.
a lesson reminded of by my son.

Teaching for our Times

Even though I absolutely love my nursery calling, every once in a while I really miss attending Relief Society. I miss associating with my Relief Society sisters on a weekly basis. I miss being taught the gospel and learning from the lesson material and the sisters comments and personal experiences. For several years I had the opportunity of being the Teaching for our Times lesson instuctor in Relief Society. I loved that calling. I learned so much as I studied the current conference talks and prepared to share them with the class. However, the thing I enjoyed the most were the insights that were shared during the actual lessons. I miss those spiritual, bonding moments. Today was the Teaching for our Times lesson and I missed it. I also missed a lot of my sweet nursery children today. We only had 2 cute little boys to hang out with.

One year ago today - Demolition

Mother's Day Eulogy

Whenever I go to a funeral I try to imagine what someone will say about me after I am gone. I sometimes have a hard time believing that any of my kids, or anyone else for that matter, will be able to come up with anything kind to say. A couple of years ago it was proclaimed by one of my children that the musical number at my funeral was going to be "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". However, today I kind of felt like I was Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn hiding in the balcony of the church and listening to my own eulogy when my oldest son spoke in sacrament meeting. He should probably keep track of this talk. It might come in handy some day. I am including it here for his Grandma's benefit (she likes to hear what her grandkids have to say) but you can read it if you want to.

A mother held her new baby
and very slowly
rocked him back and forth,
back and forth,back and forth.
And while she held him,
she sang: (and yes the son sang)
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Of course, I have been asked to speak about mothers on this special day, but more specifically I was asked to speak about my own mom. This may seem like an easy topic, but I have struggled over what to say for a while. Brother Jones told me when he asked me to speak that this talk should make my mother cry. I immediately started thinking of times that I have not followed my mom's counsel and the tragedies that happened as a result, which often made her cry. Then I realized that I am probably supposed to be making her cry tears of joy. So, I have been trying to figure out what it was that I could say to my mother to portray to her the profound effect she has had on my life. Rudyard Kipling once wrote, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers”. I have a firm testimony that this is true. There is nobody on this earth that has influenced my life as much as my mother. I could not ask for a better example. In an article written by Thomas S. Monson, he referenced ten suggestions given to mothers by President Ezra Taft Benson. I would like to analyze these traits and how my mother has accomplished or strives to accomplish each of these things

the first is "Take time to always be at the crossroads in the lives of your children, whether they be six or sixteen." As I think back over the major events in my life, there are always familiar faces in the crowd, including my mothers, but as I think of some of the seemingly more minor events, there is still one face that stands out, that of my mother.

2. "Take time to be a real friend to your children." As hard as it is to believe, there was a time in my life, that I thought my mother's sole purpose in this world was to cause me as much embarrassment as possible, when this happens, especially around friends, you tend to take on a macho attitude of I don’t need you. Even through this phase, my mother never gave up trying to be my friend, trying to find out how she could make my life better. As I have grown older, I have tried harder to reciprocate that friendship, and now I have what I feel is a strong relationship with my mother. Are there still things I don’t want to tell her, sure, there are some things that I don’t want to share. Chalk that one up to human nature. However, I do know that I can tell her anything and she would be there with her unwavering love and support.

3. "Take time to read to your children." Remember what the poet wrote: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be— I had a mother who read to me. The beginning of my talk came from the first story that I can remember my mother reading to me. My children at work have recently discovered this book, and every time they ask me to read it to them I can still hear my mom’s voice,

“That teenager grew.
He grew and he grew and he grew.
He grew until he was a grown-up man.
He left home and got a house across town.
But sometimes on dark nights
the mother got into her car
and drove across town.
If all the lights in her son's house were out,
she opened his bedroom window,
crawled across the floor,
and looked up over the side of his bed.
If that great big man was really asleep
she picked him up
and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

4. "Take time to pray with your children."
This is a tricky one mostly because there are times that children feel there are more important things to do than pray, but parents often intervene and help to teach the importance of prayer. My own mother has shown me by example the importance and power of prayer, and it is a tool that I have grown to love. Although we are older, my mother still strives to ensure that our family gathers to pray each day.

5. "Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening." Make this one of your great family traditions. Now if you asked my mother she may say that this is one of the chinks in her motherly armor. However I would submit that I learned the importance of family home evening somewhere, I feel that it was those nights as a child when we would have a lesson. I remember very vividly some the stories that where shared and the principles that were taught. I remember simply being to spend time with my family, and occasionally use the time to play Don’t Eat Pete. I learned from my mother’s example, why it is important to take time to strengthen the bonds of the family, and as I know contemplate having my own family, I know the importance of Family Home Evening.

6. "Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible." Growing up, it seems that we always ate dinner as a family, and then slowly but surely people got older, Jessica went off to college, our family dwindled, but we still ate with the remainder of our family. Then Janaya moved out, again our family shrunk but we that were left still ate dinner together. Now it seems that our own lives often take us to separate destinations at mealtime, but occasionally I get the joy of eating dinner with my whole family. A family that though once disintegrating now when all together requires extra space at the table, room for a brother-in-law, a fiancée, and an adopted sister, as well of all those family members that once went there own separate ways.

7. "Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family." I don’t know if any of you have had the opportunity to read scriptures with Jayce when he would rather do something else, but I guarantee you that if my mom feels that it is important enough to read scriptures together even after dealing with that, there must be something to it. I am grateful that my mother would take the time to help her family search the scriptures even with such distractions.

8. "Take time to do things together as a family." I can still remember being dragged across this great state to have day trips with my family. There were times when I loved these trips, and times that I hated them. Looking back now, I see that they were simply a way of strengthening our family. A family that I am constantly grateful for, that has a strong adhesive in large part due to our mother. I can guarantee that nobody else in our family would have ensured that these trips were taken with all the complaining the occasionally accompanied them.

9. "Take time to teach your children." My mom writes a blog, and it is by far one of the better blogs I have an opportunity to read. One day as I was perusing, I noticed an entry that I will now share, it was titled back off. We had a ward talent show tonight and it was fun to get to go and enjoy some time with the other members of the ward. The hubby and I went as a two-some since all of our family members had other plans. I like to see our nursery children in settings other than nursery and see how they respond to me. I sat on the floor of the gym and played ball with one of them, and another one enjoyed sitting on my lap and melting ice cubes in his hands all over the two of us. They make me feel loved and important. It is kind of sad though that the nursery group that moved up to Sunbeams in January don't seem to want to be bothered by me any more. I started talking to one of the little boys and he held up his hand in front of him, in a stop sign, and firmly stated, "I'm in primary now." In other words, "Back Off. I've moved on and I don't need you to hold my hand or wipe my nose or dry my tears or build block towers for me to knock down or take me potty anymore. I am bigger now." It took me back for a moment and then it just made me laugh. For the rest of the night, when I would see him, I'd say "Oh, you're in Primary now." and then the two of us would both giggle about it.Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
This is the comment that I shared after reading this blog, Please remember that all those unintentional snubs are really just pats on the back saying what a great mother you are. It is because of you that we are able to build our own towers, and find joy in the building of those towers. Also remember that the foundation of those towers is in your home, reinforced with your love, and should those towers happen to fall, the foundation will remain. That is what you have given us:) Through the teachings of my mother, I have become, the man I am today and I am sure that many of you can tell she didn’t do too shabby a job. I am not perfect, but I am far closer than I would be without her.

10. "Take time to truly love your children." A mother’s unqualified love approaches Christlike love. I know this to be true, there are so many times that I have made my mother’s life her own personal prison, regardless of my stupid choices, decisions that sometimes result in damage such as a hole in the wall, my mother shows over and over her love for me. Only my mother could take a hole in the wall, and turn it into a beautiful teaching opportunity.
President Hinckley shared this advice to mothers, “I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances.” I want my mother to know how much she means to me. There are so many blessings in my life that stem directly from her being a part of it. I echo the sentiments of Abraham Lincoln who said, “All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.”
I’d like to close with another portion of the book I began with.

Well, that mother, she got older.
She got older and older and older.
One day she called up her son and said,
"You'd better come see me
because I'm very old and sick."
So her son came to see her.
When he came in the door
she tried to sing the song.
She sang: I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish
because she was too old and sick.
The son went to his mother.
He picked her up
and rocked her back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

And yes I cried, just like it was a funeral, but I'm glad he said those nice things while I was still here to hear them.

P.S. If you are not familiar with the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch you need to read it. It is one of my favorite children's books and, in my opinion, every family should have a copy of it.

The Friend Magazine

Two years ago when I renewed our church magazines I decided that we probably didn't need to receive the Friend magazine any longer. The Friend is the church magazine published for children. My youngest child was 14 at the time and I felt like we would be fine with just the youth and adult magazines. Every month for the entire year my youngest son would lament each time the church magazines arrived, "Why don't we get the Friend anymore. I really like to read the Friend." So the next time our subscription ran out I added the Friend back on. It has arrived with the others every month and I have placed it in the magazine rack by my chair where I read each morning. I don't think the son even knows it's there most of the time. As I was planning Family Home Evening yesterday I was thinking about the stories my daughter had used in her talk on Sunday from this magazine and how it is a great resource that I often overlook.


I pulled a few of them out and browsed through them. There were so many great stories and even suggestions on how to use them for a Family Home Evening lesson. I actually ended up passing out a Friend to each family member during FHE and we each chose a story from our magazine to share and expound on. If was interesting to see how we all chose a story that focused on love/service. I really like that the majority of the stories included in this publication now are based on experiences that someone really had. There are so many ways the children of the church are making good choices each day and I'm glad they have a platform to share some of these moments with the rest of us. It's once again time to renew my magazine subscriptions and I'll be including my $8.00 for the Friend. I've decided our family still needs it.

Today I am thankful for

Church Magazines.
Day two of the new and improved teenage mouth.
time to spend with my Relief Society sisters.

Road Block

The oldest son's wedding has hit a road block.
The road block is not really a surprise.
We have been aware that it existed for a while now.
There have been warning signs flashing
along the road as we have moved toward our destination.
Every now and then we have even caught a glimpse of it
off in the distance and wondered
if there would come a time when it
might impede our forward progress.
Road workers were consulted
and they predicted that most likely,
with caution and some help
from an experienced road crew,
it could be navigated around.
That's why most of us were a little taken by surprise
when today we got right next to the road block
and discovered it's actual size.


What had appeared to be rather small and manageable
from a few miles away
now appears quite massive and a little scary.
And the hardest part of all
is that while many of us can stand here
and offer support and suggestions
the heavy duty road block removal
has fallen on the tiny shoulders of the fiancee.
It is her road block to conquer.
At the moment she's not sure if she is up to the task.
The road block appears huge
and she is so small.
She has known for a long time that this road block
was going to have to be approached
and dealt with at some point in her journey
but now that she is face to face with it
she doesn't have a clue how to make a dent
in this gigantic mountain before her.
She is feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.
It seems like it would be easier to just give up.
Perhaps turn around and take a different route,
but now that she has acknowledged the road block
it seems to stop her progess
no matter which direction she turns.
She is stuck.
I hope she can realize
that she doesn't really have to remove
this road block all by herself.
Her loving Savior, Jesus Christ,
is an expert at getting rid of
seemingly insurmountable obstacles
and he is waiting right there
ready and willing to help
as soon as she asks.
We, on the other hand,
are just waiting
and praying.

Choice

Tonight some of the youth in our stake performed a concert
featuring the Kenneth Cope musical,
"Greater Than Us All" .
All of the youth were invited to participate in this evening
and encouraged to participate in this evening
and cajoled to participate in this evening
and still some of them chose not to participate.

Now I understand that some people really aren't singers
and this is the excuse that my youngest son used on me
but I live with the kid.
I listen to him sing with the radio.
I listen to him sing with the computer.
I listen to him sing with the TV commercials.
I listen to him sing with his brother.
I listen to him sing with gusto.
The boy sings.

I wish he would have chosen to be a part of the program
and I guess he was in the long run.
He was a member of the audience
and we all know the audience is an important part
of any successful production.

I am sure that I am like most parents.
I want what is best for my children.
I want them to have spiritual experiences.
I want them to learn to serve.
I want them to enjoy spending time with their peers,
ones who have the same beliefs and values that they do.
I want them to develop their talents.
I want them to work hard to accomplish a goal and feel good about it.
I want them to fill their time and their heads and their hearts
with so many uplifting things
that there isn't room left for anything else.
I want them to be happy.

Unfortunately, sometimes the things I am convinced
will ultimately bring them happiness
are not the things they choose to do.
Sometimes letting my children make their own choices
is the hardest thing in the world for me.
This was basically a benign choice.
While I think my son would have benefited from the experience,
I don't think he placed his eternal exaltation in jeopardy
by choosing not to.
There are times when that is not the case.
Sometimes I question why Heavenly Father
feels so strongly about each one of His children
having the opportunity to make their own choices.
Sometimes Satan's plan sounds pretty good to me.

As I also sat in the audience tonight
and listened to the beautiful music being performed
and pondered on the words that were being sung
and the messages that were being taught,
the words and the messages and the spirit
began to seep into my heart and my soul
and replace by disappointment and remorse
concerning my son's participation.

I once again realized some important facts.

I may not fully comprehend why agency
is so infinitely important to our Heavenly Father
that He was willing to lose one third of His children
before they even had a chance to come to earth and
receive a physical body because of it.
I may not know why being able to choose is so valuable
that our Heavenly Father was willing to allow His beloved Son
to atone for our sins and die on the cross
and that Son, my eldest brother,
was willing to do just that,
but I do know that it must be because,
I also know that our Heavenly Father
is a loving parent, not unlike myself,
who wants what is best for His children.
He wants us to have spiritual experiences.
He wants us to learn to serve.
He wants us to enjoy spending time with our peers,
ones who have the same beliefs and values that we do.
He wants us to develop our talents.
He wants us to work hard to accomplish a goal and feel good about it.
He wants us to fill our time and our heads and our hearts
with so many uplifting things that there isn't room left for anything else.
He wants us to be happy.
And yes, the things that he knows will ultimately bring us happiness
are not always the things that we choose.
However, our loving Heavenly Father has provided
a way for each one of us to make choices,
benign or not so benign,
and still be able to be happy in the end.
He has provided someone greater than us all
to make everything all right
if we will choose to do what is right.

I also know that I need to teach my children
and encourage my children
and set a good example for my children
but ultimately the choice is theirs.
My choice needs to be to have faith in Heavenly Father's plan,
even the parts that I don't totally understand.

Hope Wins!

Less, you all think I'm sitting at home
paralyzed by my bad feeling
I feel compelled to share
some more of my thoughts and feelings.

I don't think that it was totally by chance
that the November issue
of the Ensign Magazine
arrived in my mailbox yesterday.
I was definitely ready to revisit
some of the amazing and comforting talks
that were given by our leaders
in the recent General Conference
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.

One of my favorite talks,
and the one that I quickly turned to this morning,
is entitled The Infinite Power of Hope
and was given by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
I loved this talk the first time I heard it
and I loved it even more as I read it today.
I need to have hope.
I want to have hope.
Our nation needs to have hope.

I think hope is what a lot of Americans
voted for in yesterday's election.
Hope for a better life.
Hope for peace.
Hope for a united country.
Hope for a stronger economy.
Hope that the promises
made by our newly elected leader
will actually come to pass.
Hope.

I was home alone tonight
and started flipping through the TV channels
looking for something to provide a little noise
in my empty house.
There was Oprah,
full of smiles and shouts,
sporting a "Hope Won" t-shirt.
I'm pretty sure that Oprah
thinks that Barack Obama
is going to save our nation
and us along with it
and now she can actually say that
on her syndicated television show.

I began to mentally compare
who and what Oprah has placed her hope in
with who and what Elder Uchtdorf counsels
us to place our hope in.
I quote,
"We hope in Jesus the Christ,
in the goodness of God,
in the manifestations of the Holy Spirit,
in the knowledge that prayers are heard and answered."
Then Elder Uchtdorf goes on to promise,
"This type of hope in God,
His goodness, and His power
refreshes us with courage
during difficult challenges
and gives strength
to those who feel threatened
by enclosing walls of fear, doubt and despair."

I am glad that so many people
have cast their vote for hope this week.
I think that it is a positive sign
that a lot of Americans realize that
our country has some major problems.
However, I question if their hope
is perhaps in the wrong person.

I strongly believe that "Hope Wins"
in this world every day
when it is placed in our Heavenly Father
and His son, Jesus Christ,
our only true source of hope.

That is the message I think
will really save our nation.

First Dates and Last Dates

We have been experiencing the dating spectrum in our home this week, along with all the subsequent emotions that accompany such associations with the opposite sex.

My youngest son announced to me the other day that he had asked a girl out on a date. His first date. This was planned in conjunction with some of his siblings, but it was definitely news to me. I remember a discussion I had with a friend exactly a year ago. She has a son who is about 8 months older than my son and I was questioning her about him driving and also dating. I told her I could picture my son driving a car much easier than I could imagine him being mature enough to actually go on a date. I still feel the same way today. I have accepted the fact that this son can drive, although I am still not convinced that he is actually ready for his real driver's license. However, this whole going out with a girl is a lot harder for me to comprehend. As this child's mother, I have seen him at his silliest, and I question what girl would consider him dating material. (Actually, he has some very mature, quite adorable moments, and I'm sure this is the side he reveals to the young ladies.) It's just hard for me to realize that my small one is growing up and moving on. Tonight was the date which included a visit to an elementary school carnival and feeding the ducks and playing on the playground at the local park (appropriately chauffeured and chaperoned by his sister) and apparently it was a good one, at least in my son's opinion.

On the same day that I received the first date announcement, I also began to realize that all was not well in my oldest son's dating life. While son #2 was experiencing the positive, hopeful side of dating, the other son was experiencing the extreme opposite. The girlfriend/roommate had decided that things weren't going where she believed they were meant to be going and had announced that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him. This has been a very challenging experience for him and one that he has to work through for himself. It is hard for me to watch him go through all that this entails.

I sometimes think that it is truly amazing that so many of us are able to find our future life partner through this challenging, frightening, exciting experience that we call dating. It often seems like the person that we can imagine spending eternity with is busy imagining spending it with someone else. Dating is hard work. It isn't easy. Dating is sometimes full of the highest highs and sometimes it brings with it the lowest lows. It is scary to open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt or rejected. It definitely requires stepping outside of our comfort zone, and sometimes it doesn't turn out the way that we hope that it will (and then sometimes it does). However, I do know that dating is part of Heavenly Father's plan for us and that regardless of what happens he knows what that plan is. The important thing is to make sure that we have faith in Him and trust in His love for us, knowing that he will support us and uplift us through whatever experiences come our way.

I love you, my boys, and look forward to seeing both of you married in the temple to a special girl when the time is right in Heavenly Father's plan for you. Stay close to Him so you will be ready when that time comes.

Today I am grateful for

the comfort of knowing that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of His children.
Children that support each other.
things I accomplish, even if they're tiny.

The Day Dawn is Breaking

I have decided that I need a laptop computer that can hang around my neck so I can take it with me on my morning walks and blog while I walk. This is definitely when I have my most profound and blog worthy thoughts but by the time I get home, eat breakfast, bid farewell to the remaining family members, shower, get dressed and try to be productive for awhile those ideas have simply disappeared.

The past two mornings it has been absolutely beautiful when I have gone walking. As the days get shorter the sun rise comes a little later every day and when I walk at about 6:30 the sky is lightening with a golden glow but the sun has not quite made it over the mountains yet. There have been scattered clouds both mornings that start out so dark and forboding but become much friendlier as they slowly turn pink, purple and yellow.

There is something so hopeful about a sunrise.

No matter how dark things may appear one moment a few minutes pass and everything becomes brighter.

This morning as I watched this change occur a song popped into my head.

"The day dawn is breaking,
the world is awaking,
the clouds of night's darkness
are fleeing away.
The worldwide commotion,
from ocean to ocean,
Now heralds the time
of the beautiful day."

As I thought about this hymn I was reminded how truly blessed I am to live in a day when the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth. I saw a movie in Sunday School a few years ago that depicted the following story:

An elderly gentleman, Robert Mason, had a strange vision. “I was carried away in a vision and found myself in the midst of a vast orchard of fruit trees. I became hungry and wandered through this vast orchard searching for fruit to eat, but I found none. While I stood in amazement finding no fruit in the midst of so many trees, they began to fall to the ground as if torn up by a whirlwind. They continued to fall until there was not a tree standing in the whole orchard. I immediately saw thereafter shoots springing up from the roots and forming themselves into young and beautiful trees. These budded, blossomed, and brought forth fruit which ripened and was the most beautiful to look upon of anything my eyes had ever beheld. I stretched forth my hand and plucked some of the fruit. I gazed upon it with delight; but when I was about to eat of it, the vision closed and I did not taste the fruit.”
At the conclusion of the vision, Mr. Mason had prayed that the Lord would give him the interpretation. “Then the voice of the Lord came to me saying: This is to show you that my Church is not organized among men in the generation to which you belong; but in the days of your children the Church and Kingdom of God shall be made manifest with all the gifts and the blessings enjoyed by the Saints in past ages. You shall live to be made acquainted with it, but shall not partake of its blessings before you depart this life. You will be blest of the Lord after death because you have followed the dictation of my Spirit in this life.’ ”

I still remember had sad I felt for this man as I watched this movie. He was searching so dilligently for the truth and yet was told that he could never enjoy its blessing during his lifetime. At that moment I realized how lucky I was to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

When I got home I looked up the hymn "The Day Dawn is Breaking". The rest of the words
gave me such a feeling of peace and hope.

"In many a temple
the Saints will assemble
And labor as saviors
of dear ones away.
Then happy reunion
and sweetest communion
We’ll have with our friends
in the beautiful day."

It so happened tht the man from the above story, Robert Mason, was a good friend and mentor of Wilford Woodruff, who became a president of the church. “The vision was given to him [Father Mason] about the year 1800,” Elder Woodruff wrote. “He related it to me in 1830, the spring in which the Church was organized. Three years later when I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, almost the first person I thought of was this prophet, Robert Mason. Upon my arrival in Missouri with Zion’s Camp, I wrote him a long letter in which I informed him that I had found the true gospel with all its blessings; that the authority of the Church of Christ had been restored to the earth as he had told me it would be; that I had received the ordinances of baptism and the laying on of hands; that I knew for myself that God had established through Joseph Smith, the Prophet, the Church of Christ upon the earth. He received my letter with great joy and had it read over to him many times. He handled it as he had handled the fruit in the vision. He was very aged and soon died without having the privilege of receiving the ordinances of the gospel at the hands of an elder of the Church. The first opportunity I had after the truth of baptism for the dead was revealed, I went forth and was baptized for him in the temple font of Nauvoo.”
Can't you just picture the sweet reunion of Wilford Woodruff and Robert Mason ? I wonder if Joseph Townsend, the author of this hymn, had any idea when he wrote these words how many temples he was actually refering to?

The song continues -
"Still let us be doing,
our lessons reviewing,
Which God has revealed
for our walk in his way;
And then, wondrous story,
the Lord in his glory
Will come in his pow’r
in the beautiful day."

These words from the 3rd verse describe exactly what I feel the general authorites were trying to share with me during our recent general conference.

Do what the Lord asks you to do, keep the commandments, follow the path that he has laid forth and no matter how unsure the future appears you will know how the story will end. The clouds may be dark and worrisome around me but if I just have faith and hope things will become brighter until Jesus returns and brings with him a truly beautiful day.

Beautiful day of peace and rest,
bright be thy dawn from east to west.
Hail to thine earliest welcome ray,
Beautiful bright millennial day."

Today I am grateful for

the gospel of Jesus Christ to guide my life.
reminders of what I need to focus on.
all the temples throughout the world and the saving ordinances that are performed there for those who died before they were able to partake of the truth and blessings of the restored church of Jesus Christ.

I have Righteous Children

Today I gave a talk in church.

These are the thoughts I shared. I was going to only print part of it, but I'm too lazy to go through and edit so just read what you want.

I have struggled with the topic that we were given to speak on today because at first I felt that it was a reflection on me and my parenting ability.

Look at me.

Now it might surprise some of you to learn that I am not perfect. I haven’t always done what I believe and know I should do, I worry and feel guilty that, where raising my children is concerned, I have not done enough.

I could point out at least half of this congregation that I believe are more qualified to address the topic of raising righteous children than I am and the other half probably think they could do a better job because they are teenagers and think they know everything. Personally, I would be happy to let any one who would like to to come and take my place right now.

Raising Righteous Children – as I have presented this topic to family and friends, As in – “Guess what I have been asked to speak about on Sunday?” I have repeatedly heard the response “You have Righteous Children”.

How and when do we know that we have Righteous Children?

Is it when they say their first prayer without any help,

is it when they give their first talk in primary,

when they choose to be baptized,

when that receive the priesthood,

or serve in a young women presidency,

is it when they attend church every Sunday for a year

or graduate from Seminary,

is it when they go to the temple for the first time
to participate in Baptisms for the Dead,

or when they go to receive their own endowments
and go on a mission,

or when they are sealed there to an eternal companion?

Is it when we see them actually enjoying a service project,

or “catch” them reading their scriptures without being forced,

maybe when they give a family home evening lesson
that is better than we could have given,

or when they share the gospel with one of their friends
or baptize someone.

Do these milestones prove that we have Righteous Children?

Yes and no.

My belief and understanding is that all parents have Righteous Children.

Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking I know some of so and so’s children and they are not Righteous or she hasn’t met that kid that lives next door to me or what about my son …, but wait.

In this month’s visiting teaching message there is a quote from Julie B. Beck the Relief Society General President, she says

“ You are literally spirit daughters (and I add sons) of Deity, offspring of exalted parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. You received your first lessons in the world of spirits from your heavenly parents. You have been sent to earth to prove yourselves…”

There it is – we all have Righteous Children,

literal offspring of exalted parents,

every day, all day, from the day they are born
until the day they die,

they will always be Righteous Children.

It is their noble birthright.

It is because of who they were and are.

Even if they don’t want to be Righteous Children
and they choose to not make Righteous choices
this doesn’t change who they are.

A Righteous Child of Heavenly Parents.

Sometimes I forget this most important truth.

I, and you, do not need to produce Righteous Children –

they already exist-

we just have to help raise them
back up to their Heavenly parents.

We just need to help them remember who they are
and why they are here
and what they already know.

An LDS mother, Patty Witt, when asked by a reporter for tips on raising righteous children replied

“ I think they just came that way. However, I do believe it has a lot to do with eating dinner together every day, and going to bed by 9 or 10 -- there's no substitute for that."
Maybe that doesn’t make a big difference to any of you, but it does to me, it helps me to know that I don’t have to start from scratch and create a Righteous Child. The Righteous Child is already there.

I just have to polish it and protect it,
feed it and take care of it
teach it and remind it who it is.

I need to treat it as something of great value,
which it is
and let it fulfill the responsibilities
for which it was created.

Still not an easy responsibility,
but more doable in my way of thinking.

When we look at our children, the children in the ward, the teenager that lives next door, or any other child as Righteous Children regardless of whether or not they are making righteous choices at this given moment in their lives I think it makes a world of difference.

Now I could probably teach a yearlong class, meeting once a week for 2 hours, on Raising Righteous Children, not because I’m qualified, but because there are that many ideas and thoughts and skills that could be taught on this topic. Lucky for you I only have 15 minutes and I have already used 5 of those so I have narrowed down my 45 page talk to a few less pages.

I want to focus on one thing that has given me much help and the much hope in raising my Righteous Children (remember, I’m not boasting, we all have them).

It is something that I read when I was having a difficult time feeling adequate for the task that was placed before me. You see, each of these Righteous Children we have been blessed with have the right and the ability to make their own choices. Sometimes those choices don’t coincide with their righteous nature, they are not righteous choices, and as parents we often don’t have and shouldn’t have the power to stop them from making these choices. Sometimes we feel powerless in knowing how to help them remember who they are and why they are here.

It was during one these times in my life when I first read about it in a book entitled House of Glory by S. Michael Wilcox.

Bro. Wilcox related the following story,“When I moved to Utah ten years ago, my children were entering their teenage years. Having taught teenagers n seminary, I knew how critical the next years would be, for during these years we win or lose so many battles for the souls of men. The more I thought about the world my children were growing up in and the pressures and opposition arrayed against them, the more anxious I felt.
I went to the temple one afternoon to seek guidance about my children. The calm, loving spirit of the temple seemed to magnify my natural love for my family, and I found myself offering a deeply sincere prayer filled with desire for my children. I told the Lord I was willing to offer any sacrifice if he would protect my children from Satan’s power and bless them with his Spirit until they could come to his house and receive their own endowment. I do not think I offered a unique prayer. It is the uttered and unuttered prayer of every true Latter-day Saint parent, and I think most parents would give the Lord the sacrifice he required.
As I sat in the temple, an answer was given in which the required sacrifice was revealed to me. I thought the Lord would demand some great thing for the blessing I was asking, and had it been some great thing I believe I would have been willing to fulfill it. Often we are more willing to do the great things than the small, everyday acts of obedience of sacrifice that comprise living the gospel.
However, the spirit simply whispered: “This is the sacrifice I ask of you. Be in this house frequently, constantly, and consistently and the promised protection you seek, which this house has the power to bestow, will be extended to those you love.”
At first I thought this counsel was unique to me, but I came to realize as I read and studied the scriptures that it is a promise with much broader application. I found this promise again and again in both the scriptures and in the words of our living prophets and apostles. It was not a special request and promise to me, but one that was extended to all the saints in behalf of those they love. “

Frequently, constantly and consistently attend the temple.

Why?

What good will that do?

One of the reasons I love the temple the most is because there I am reminded of the eternal nature of life. Birth is not the beginning and Death is not the end. In the temple I can see better who I am and who my children are. Inside the temple I see myself as a Righteous Daughter of a Loving Heavenly Father and I see my children that way too.

Also I think in the temple we are reminded of the role that Jesus Christ plays in each of our lives. How important our relationship with him and our children's relationship with him is.

In 2 Nephi 25:26 we read,
"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our child may know to what source thy may look for a remission of their sins."

President Ezra Taft Benson counseled us to make the temple a “sacred home away from our eternal home.” He then explained the power the temple can generate in a morally deteriorating world:
“This temple will be a standing witness that the power of God can stay the powers of evil in our midst. Many parents, in and out of the church, are concerned about protection against a cascading avalanche of wickedness that threatens to engulf Christian principles… There is power associated with the ordinances of Heaven – even the power of Godliness – which can and will thwart the forces of evil if we will be worthy of those sacred blessings. This community will be protected, our families will be protected, our children will be safeguarded as we live the gospel, visit the temple, and live close to the Lord.”
Elder Boyd K. Packer has said,
"Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people.”
Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone promised that all who faithfully attend to temple work will have unseen angels watch over their loved ones when Satanic forces tempt them. Everytime a temple is built Satan's power is deminished.

I then shared the story of my son and his mistake that he "fixed" with the picture of the temple. If you don't know what I'm talking about you can read about it here.

The look on the face of one of the deacons sitting in the audience as I told that story was priceless. He is an only child and I don't think he could grasp the dynamics that exist between brothers that could escalate to that kind of experience.

In closing I testified that the temple can fix things. I have experienced that blessing in my life many times. The temple is here to bind our families together and to help us Raise Righteous Children.

I don't have perfect children,
but I do have Righteous Children,
and if you are a parent,
you do to.

Day of Rest?

If Sunday is the day of rest then why am I so tired?
I am tired.
So, so tired.
Physically tired from a busy, busy day in Nursery.
We had 14 children today and they kept us all very, very busy.
So many kids.
I kept losing one of them.
He is the littlest and he seemed to just blend into the crowd.
One time he was under the table.
One time he was sitting in a chair, right where he was suppose to be, eating crayons.
Usually he was in the arms of any male who happened to be standing up or passing through.
For some reason we had a lot of people standing in nursery or passing though today.
With that many kids it was hard for me to feel like I was giving each child the attention that they deserved and demanded.
Even with 3 teachers and a visiting Great Aunt the adults were all kept very busy.
It was hard work!
One of my friends gave me a plaque that says, "Be thankful when you are tired and weary. It means you have made a difference." This friend was the nursery leader right before the hubby and I were. Perhaps she remembers that exhausted feeling that accompanies a busy day in nursery and hopefully I did make a difference in these children's lives today.
Even though it was tiring , I find that I love each one of these little children more each Sunday. They all have little things about themselves that endear them to me. I do believe that it is true that we love those we serve and nursery is definitely a service calling and I absolutely love the children in our nursery.

I'm also tired of feeling yucky.
So, so tired.
I just want to feel good and be able to accomplish something, anything, besides what absolutely has to be done.
My house is falling apart.
My attitude is falling apart.
I am falling apart.
Today during Sacrament meeting I was thinking about how tired I felt and the scripture from Matthew came into my mind.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
Do I really believe that?
What does this scripture really mean and how do I tap into that rest that Jesus Christ is so willing to give?
The atonement of Jesus Christ can give me the strength, His strength, to hold on and make it through.
In October Conference in 2006 Elder Dallin H. Oaks shared this counsel:
"Commune with the Lord. … He is your best friend! He knows your pain because He has felt it for you already. He is ready to carry that burden. Trust Him enough to place it at His feet and allow Him to carry it for you. Then you can have your anguish replaced with His peace, in the very depths of your soul”
I need to be willing to let go of my problems enough to trust that my Savior will help me over come them or give me the power to endure them. I don't need to be weary if I will trust in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I can lean on him and receive the rest that I so desire to find and that he so freely offers.
This sounds simple enough. Maybe tomorrow I won't be too tired to try it out. Right now all I want to do is take a nap.

Visiting Teaching + Food = Feelings of Fullness

I think I have one of the greatest visiting teaching companions in the church. She makes me laugh, gives me perspective, worries about the sisters we visit and prays for them, has great insight, is one of the most compassionate people I know, always chooses to drive, buys me a diet Pepsi to end our time together, and is always thinking of creative ways to get our visiting teaching done. I love her Lots!

One of the sisters that we visit isn't always receptive to us coming to her home. If we do get in for a chat she becomes the queen of changing the subject. She is extremely knowledgeable and a bigger talker than I am, if you can believe that, and we always have interesting conversations, just usually not about the lesson topic. I have grown to love this sister as we have visited her and I really want her to have a more positive opinion about the gospel and its teachings. She was offended a couple of years ago and her feelings toward the individuals involved seem to negatively color all of her ideas about the church.

We have found that an invitation to meet for lunch is the best way for us to get together and my companion has set up a standing date with her the 3rd Friday of the month at Sweet Tomatoes. We try up until then to schedule an in home visit, but if we can't succeed we always have our lunch appointment as a back up. My companion also spends Friday afternoons with another sister in the ward who has some health problems and cannot stay home alone. She is part of our 3rd Friday outing and today one of her visiting teachers (who also happens to be my visiting teacher) joined us as well, so we had a really fun, visiting teaching group and discussion.

We were able to share insights and ideas on how knowing that we are daughters of loving heavenly parents helps us in our daily lives. I really needed to be reminded of the truths taught in this message. Things like:

I received my first lessons in the world of spirits from my Heavenly Parents.

Wow, I wish I could remember my Heavenly Father and Mother instructing me and preparing me for my earthly school. What an awe inspiring thought!

"...you need to drink in deeply the gospel truths about the eternal nature of your individual identity and the uniqueness of your personality. You need, more and more, to feel the perfect love which our Father in Heaven has for you and to sense the value he places upon you as an individual."

It is amazing to me how individually and personally my Heavenly Father knows me. My needs, my strengths, my weaknesses, my unique personality. I feel his love and recognize his hand in my life in so many ways. I am so grateful for the gospel truths that I have been taught throughout my life and for the personal testimony of them that has come as I have grown and matured and been blessed with opportunities that have humbled me and helped me to look deeper for the Tender Mercies that are evidence of God's knowledge of and love for me.

One last thought that struck me from this message as I have been pondering the Olympics this week and so many individuals quest for the Gold.

You are a treasured child of the promise. If you will keep the Lord's statutes and commandments and hearken to His voice He has promised that he will make you high above the nations in name and honor and praise.

We can all be winners!

Today I am thankful for

lastings friendships that I have built through Relief Society.
A weekend to look forward to.
Inspired leaders who write visiting teachings messages to teach and uplift me.

My birthmonth present for today was an evening alone with my husband without any kids.

Olympic Issues

I am a little embarrassed to admit this but I have

Olympic Issues.

Not Olympic-sized issues,

although I probably have those too.

No, I have issues with the Olympic Games.


I am not a showy person.

I do not like to be in the limelight

or be the center of attention.

I am not ambitious nor competitive

and perhaps that's why I just don't understand

what motivates these athletes

to put themselves through

the whole Olympic experience.

Most of them don't even look like

they are enjoying themselves.

I just don't get it.

Yes, I understand the desire to do something to the best of your ability

(understand it but don't often achieve it).

And I guess if your best is also the World's best

then it is perhaps your responsibility

to be competing at the Olympic Games.

Unfortunately, there is only one

WORLD'S BEST

at any given moment in time

and if you happen to be a male swimmer

and your name is not Michael Phelps

and you aren't an American

then too bad -

this week you are not it.

I guess I put my focus in the wrong place.

While everyone else is watching

the amazing American Relay team

(and I will admit they were amazing)

jumping up and down and

talking smack about the French Swimmers.

I am watching the French swimmer in the pool,

head bowed,

pretending not to cry,

who just gave his Very, Very best

and it just wasn't good enough.


I have a hard time with losers.

I have a hard time with the concept of losing.

Especially when more than one

person (or team) is good.

In fact really, really good.

In fact, faster than World Record good

and deserves to win.

Yet they still lose.

I like to think that the athletes

who compete in the Olympics

and don't walk away with the Gold medal

are able to look at the Olympic experience

and see what they have gained

and not what they have lost.

But, I don't know if I could.

I don't know if I could spend 4 years of my life

(or a lot more for some of these athletes)

focusing on one specific goal

and then look at the bright side

when I reach out for that goal and

someone else's hand gets there

a split second before mine does.

I don't think I could stand in front

of a National TV audience

and respond positively and politely

to a silly news reporter

who asks even sillier questions.

Describe your emotions right now?

I don't think so!

I obviously just don't get it.

But wait,

I have more Olympic Issues.

Opening Ceremony Issues.

I watched most of the opening ceremonies

on Friday night

and they were amazing and impressive.

I was amazed at times and impressed at others.

They were spectacular!

The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

are suppose to be a spectacular show.

I think China put on a great show and

I enjoyed it

but...

The pictures on this website

show it all.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/2008_olympics_opening_ceremony.html
even the parts we didn't see and

the place where the billions of dollars

might have been better spent.

The two events that stood out the most to me

during the opening ceremonies were

the young Chinese girl singing

"Ode to the Motherland"

as the group of children representing

all the cultures of China marched in and

the young boy who carried a Chinese flag,

next to Yao Ming,

who had saved two of his classmates

following the recent earthquakes

because he was a hall monitor

and a leader in his school.

Not the flashiest parts of the program,

but those that touched me the most.

I had more issues today

when I found out that the adorable little girl

who sang the song

really didn't sing.

The little girl who the voice belonged to

was deemed "not cute enough"

to represent China in front of the whole world.

Her name is Yang Peiyi.

She is 7 years old and

she has crooked teeth.

Maybe she is like me

and she doesn't like to be in the lime light

or be the center of attention,

and she was perfectly happy

not to stand on a pedestal

and sing in front of the whole world.

but I still have issues.



I will be eternally grateful

to a Heavenly Father

who set up the rules

for the "Game of Life"

that we are all participating in.

That He will never

single out one winner.

That He wants each and

every one of us to win.

That there are

enough "gold medals"

for every single person

who does his or her best

and deserves to win

regardless of whether they can swim or not

or if they have crooked teeth

or if they can sing or not

or if they are American, or French or Chinese

and even if they don't understand

why people would want to participate

in the Olympics.

Sacrament meeting

My 16 year old son blessed the sacrament for the first time today in Sacrament meeting. He was worried about doing something wrong, but he did a great job. I hope he appreciates what a priviledge it is to be allowed to participate in this very sacred ordinance. Partaking of the sacrament and renewing our baptismal covenants are the most important reasons why we attend church each Sunday. I am grateful that he is worthy to have this opportunity and pray that he will always do his best to live his life in a way that will keep him that way.

We had a wonderful meeting today. We had a young couple speak who have not always lived the kind of lives they knew they should. The wife shared her conversion story and her husband shared how he became active again. They both bore such sweet testimonies. They, along with their year old son, were recently sealed in the temple and it is so amazing to see the changes that have taken place in their lives. His mother is one of the ladies that I went to the beach with and I know that his conversion and new lifestyle have been an answer to her many prayers. I was so touched by the spirit today. A member of the Stake Presidency also bore his testimony about the atonement and the power that it has to turn lives around. I am so grateful for the atonement and for the opportunity I have to repent and to start again every time I make a mistake. I would be lost without this great gift from my Savior.

Message to my children - Never forget that your elder brother, Jesus Christ, loves you and suffered for your sins so that you can be forgiven and begin again as many times as you need to. His love and his power are real and can change your life for good.

An interesting source for inspiration

Today I was writing a talk on the Holy Ghost for tonight's baptism. I was looking for a quote that I had heard once so I googled some key words and found a great source. Two pages of quotes by church leaders and definitions of the Holy Ghost. The quotes even included pictures of the leader who had said it. I read through these quotes and was so inspired and added a couple of them to my talk. Wow, was I surprised when I got to the bottom of the second page and realized that this source was actually an ANTI-MORMON website. It's so interesting to me that 2 people can read exactly the same thing and one of them can be inspired and the other one can be turned off. I'm glad I was the one who was inspired. I am including one of the quotes I liked, but if you need some great info about the Holy Ghost you can check out this website . Just ignore the subtle jabs that are interspersed throughout.

"Elder Bruce R. McConkie said, “There is no price too high ... no sacrifice too great, if out of it all we ... enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost” (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith [1984], 253). What are we willing to do, what weaknesses and indulgences will we give up, to have as our personal protector and guide the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost? It is a question worth asking, for let us be clear: The adversary delights in separating us, the sisters of this Church, from the Spirit."
- Sister Sheri L. Dew (Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency), “We Are Not Alone,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 94