PHone PHrustrations!

Isn't it interesting how when things in our lives work right we hardly even notice them, but when they quit working they become so noticeable? Apparently on Saturday our home phone ceased to function correctly. Usually we figure out that we have a problem when the Internet won't connect, but for some reason the DSL continued to work. My mom and sister spent all day calling me, wondering where I was and I spent all day wondering why they didn't call. Finally, in the evening I called them on my cell phone and discovered that something was wrong with my phone. We have a portable phone with one hook up but three bases and three hand sets. One of the bases got ran over by the vacuum cleaner and one of the phones has disappeared, but we still have two. Unfortunately the handsets get left off of the bases and then they run out of battery or get under the couch cushions and accidentally get turned on when someone sits on them. In other words, I felt like there was probably a problem with the phone this time and I couldn't blame the failure on the stupid phone company and there inept ability to repair the phone line adequately a month ago. On Monday I went to Target and bought a new phone. Another one with one hook up, three handsets, three bases - $59.99 on sale. I took it home and low and behold the phone still had no dial tone. I decided perhaps it was time to contact the phone company. Since this kind of thing is what I have a hubby for I immediately called him and asked him to call and request a repair. Being the wonderful, loving man that he is he did it without complaint, later in the evening after he got home from work. Of course, when you call any business now you do not actually get to talk to a person. You get to carry on a conversation with a voice that asks you random questions and then tells you to speak your answer into the phone, but when you speak the voice starts talking again so the voice doesn't understand what you say. The first thing you usually hear upon calling Qwest is "For some reason, we are experiencing a high number of repair calls and there may be a delay in your service". This is a polite way of saying, our repairmen are mostly a bunch of idiots who don't know what they are doing and therefore we have to keep repairing the same mistakes that we supposedly fixed last month and so we have quite a backlog. Eventually, hubby got a repair scheduled for sometime on July 1st, the next day. Hooray! The repairman arrived in the late afternoon (after driving up and down the street for about 20 minutes) and wasn't at all deterred by the vicious attack dog (Poky) who met him at the door with me. After about an hour and a half we receive a call from him that our phone is now working. I always find this humorous because of course it is working, you are calling me on it. At the same moment, the son and I were trying to sign on to the Internet to work on some health. Three tries and no connection. I check the modem box - flashing lights everywhere. STOP that repairman! Too late, there he goes off down the street. Perhaps everything just needs reset. Unplug, unconnect, turn off, re-plug, re-connect, turn on - same results. Once again I call the hubby, he calls the phone company, try these things when you get home, we'll send someone out tomorrow. Tomorrow, July 2, arrives. About 10:00 I receive a phone call with a "message concerning our phone repair." The repair has been completed and everything is working now. If we have any more problems please call this number. I run to my bedroom to check. Still flashing lights. Perhaps everything just needs reset. Unplug, unconnect, turn off, re-plug, re-connect, turn on - same results. Good thing I wrote down that number! I call the phone company. (Hubby is trying to work and I am capable of talking on the phone once in a while.) After speaking to the voice and pushing a multitude of buttons and listening to how valuable I am to Qwest and a sales pitch for every item they could possibly sell me I get to talk to a real, live person. I ask "Was the repair call I receive regarding the old repair or the new repair?" Who knows. I explain the situation and the real person says hold on while I test the line. More sales pitch and valuable person propaganda. The line appears to be working fine. It must be something to do with the DSL line. Let me connect you with the Internet repair department. More of the valuable customer spill and information on how to sign on to the Internet and get help at their website. I would love to sign on to the Internet and I would definitely love to get help. Now I decide to do a hand off to the eldest son to discuss the technical aspects of the problem because that's what I have sons for and I'm tired of listening to the same message over again. This was a very good decision since the son gets to run around the house and stand on his head and connect and unconnect cables for the next 20 minutes. The final determination is that we need a new modem because apparently ours is fried. I get the phone back to discuss the financial portion of the deal. I can get the modem from them for the low price of $59.99 (think I already spent that amount on this problem this week). I query why we need to purchase the modem from them. The original modem didn't come from them. I receive a lengthy lesson on car repair and how important it is to use parts from the maker and not facsimiles thereof. I see. "How long will it take to arrive?" "3 to 5 business days." Hum, not good. We have health to do and we are going out of town on the 4th. I express my concern. "Oh, I am so glad you told me about your concern. You can just go to Best Buy and buy a modem right now." How convenient. I would have liked to know that 15 minutes ago at the beginning of this discussion. That is what I will do. I get off the phone and eldest son says, "I don't think it's the modem. We had a brand new modem (that we bought when we bought the original one and thought we needed two but really only needed one and so never used) and I tried it too with the Internet tech guy and it didn't work either. He said it must be bad too, but I don't see how it could be since it's brand new." Interesting twist. This is the same modem that I will get in my hot car and drive to Best Buy to purchase. I don't really want to do that if it isn't going to fix the problem. I know. I will call the phone company again and see what they suggest. What a good idea! At least I'll try a new phone number. More voices, more buttons, more valuable customer garbage then finally a real person. I explain my situation. "Hold on and I will check your line to see if it's working." "It's working. I'm talking to you on it." "It will just take a couple of minutes. Let me check it." Now I get -upgrade to a faster Internet speed and get 2 months free. I should be getting something free since I'm not getting what I'm paying for! Real person comes back on "It appears the line is working fine. Let me connect you to the DSL department." Been there, done that, but sure let's do it again. I wish the phone company just had elevator music when they put you on hold. DSL person, "Have you...?" "Yes." "Have you...?" "Yes." and so on and so on and so on. "I need to test your line to see if it is working correctly. You need to hang up and I'll call you back in about 2 minutes." Great. No body's thought to test the line before. Half an hour later. "The line seems to be working fine. I have one of our computer specialists on the other line. I am going to bring him on and he is going to help you try one more thing. Here he is." "Thanks." "I'm going to stand on my head and count to 200 and hit this box with a ding dong wrapper and see if that helps. I need you to unplug your modem and I'll tell you when to plug it back in." In case you haven't guessed that's not what he really said, but what he actually did worked just as well as I think that would have. "Plug the modem back in." and we'll carry on some casual conversation while we wait to see if anything happens. "Umm, nothing. Well, it's possible that something didn't get hooked back up correctly after the repair yesterday. I will put in an order for a repairman to come out. He can be there very late tomorrow. Is that OK?" "I guess it will have to be. We are getting ready to leave town and my son has an online class he needs to work on before we go but I guess we can go to the library to work on it." "Well, actually you need to be home to greet the repairman tomorrow and although I don't think he will get there until late he may be there early so you will need to be there." "O.K." X-nay on the library-a. "By the way, what happened to the repairman that my husband scheduled to come out today? Did he come?" "Let me check. No, apparently no order was ever submitted on that call." "Perhaps I could get the repairman there in the morning tomorrow.How about between 9:00 and 1:00." Just lovely. I know this story has dragged on long enough and obviously my computer is once again working since I am posting a blog. The repairman came about 11:00 and "completed a very easy repair." Apparently there are two connections in the box out in the alley. One for the phone and one for the Internet. Somehow the Internet one was left unplugged following the first repair. Imagine that. I am so glad I am one of Qwest's valuable customers and I get to enjoy their company on such a regular basis. Does anyone have a new phone carrier recommendation? By the way. We now have 5 working land line phones, 4 cell phones, and a "fast enough" DSL connection and no one wants to communicate with me. What's with that! The son did get some health done though so that is a plus. I am grateful today for Phones and computers - that all work at the moment. A blog - where I can vent and feel better. Vacation - that I get to go on tomorrow!