Scary Halloween!

I decided that in honor of Halloween today
I wanted to do something really scary.
I thought of various ideas,
but I'm not necessarily into haunted houses
or blood and gore.
I considered calling up complete strangers
on the telephone to discuss controversial topics,
but I had already done that this month.
I finally decided that the scariest activity
I could come up with would be
to spend some time in my own backyard.
Perhaps that doesn't sound all that scary
but just believe me
when I say it is.
I would show you pictures,
but you probably wouldn't
be able to sleep for a week
and I could never look you
in the eye again once you knew
how truly appalling this yard is.
It's that scary.
My back yard is so frightening
that I try to go out there
as little as possible
and unfortunately my neglect shows.
A lot.
However this morning
I decided to face my fears
and armed with clippers,
pruning shears,
a rake,
and a box of black trash bags
I stepped into the "yard of terror".
It is amazing what can happen to vegetation
when you choose to ignore it.
It becomes a horrendous, giant monster
or more accurately
lots of horrendous, giant monsters.
These beasts grabbed me
and attacked me
and took me down a couple of times,
but I stayed strong and brave
and got the better of a few of them.
After 3 hours I had 5 black bags full of weeds
and the entire fence in my alley
lined with branches and palm fronds.
I wish I could say that I now have
a friendly, subdued backyard
but that would definitely be an exaggeration.
If you look really close,
in a few spots though
it does look a little better
and I can truly say that I celebrated Halloween
in a completely frightening fashion.
The sad thing is
that the city workers came and
gathered up all my clippings
right after I got finished.
I don't think anyone in my family
will even believe how brave I was
or how hard I worked
because they avoid the backyard too
and don't know what
it really looked like out there
and the evidence has disappeared.