In the Dark

My friends and I headed out of town for a getaway this weekend. We found a cabin in the woods that a very nice person was willing to let us borrow for a girl's retreat. The initial plan was that two of us (myself and one friend) would go up on Thursday evening to meet with the owner and receive instruction on cabin usage and then the rest of the group would arrive Friday evening. It turned out that the cabin owner had something come up and couldn't leave the valley, so she just typed out all the information that we needed and gave the paper and the key to my friend. We both decided that even though we technically didn't have to arrive early anymore we had things arranged and were ready for a break. Why take a one day vacation when you can go for two?

We left Tempe about 7:00 PM, so by the time we got close to the cabin it was night time and very dark. The directions were in a bag in the back of the van, but my friend remembered them fairly well - Turn at the church, go until the paved road changes to dirt, turn at the two big trees covered with signs, turn left when the road ends, go to the house number (I don't remember it right now, but she did then) turn left and park. We managed to arrive at our destination safely despite the elk who stood in the middle of the road and refused to move and the skunk who wanted to race with us. We left the black and white striped athlete in our dust, but his smell managed to keep up with us pretty well. As we parked, the van lights shown on the cabin not too far in front of us and we were excited to begin our adventure. I turned the van lights off and we were quickly reminded how dark it can be when you leave the city lights behind. That was when my friend remembered that she had been instructed to bring a flashlight. Oops. We use to have a flashlight in the van, but it got borrowed for a camp out and didn't find it's way back. Oops again. We decided to turn the van lights back on and go for it. As my friend started blazing her way through the undergrowth toward the cabin she commented "You would think they would have a better path than this." I started to follow her and definitely agreed as I trudged carefully through rocks and weeds and semi-darkness. The friend was reading the instructions as she walked. "It says here that there is a light on the shed near the parking area." As I negotiated toward her I looked around for a shed but didn't see one. About this time the van lights decided to automatically turn off and we both loudly exclaimed, "It is really dark out here!" I turned around and attempted to make it back to the van, and our source of light, without falling on my face. As I approached the van I could vaguely make out an object on the opposite side of the parking area - Ah ha, the shed! I passed the van, reached the shed, located the light switch and wah-lah there was light. Not a lot of light that traveled a long way, but light. With the light on I realized that there was a better path to the cabin and walked around the rocks and weeds to the porch where my friend had discovered that while the key went in the lock on the door, it wouldn't turn. She pulled and pushed and twisted and turned, but the key didn't work. She suggested I try so I pushed and pulled and turned and twisted, but no luck. There was a sign next to the door of the cabin with a name so we tried to read it to make sure that we were in the right place, but it was too dark to see what it said. We even tried reading it by braille, but it was just painted, not carved. This friend had been to this cabin about 9 years ago so I asked, "does it look familiar?". She wasn't sure, but she remembered the owner had said there was a bench on the porch and sure enough there was a bench. She also recalled the owner had told her that they had just had a lot of new keys made for the locks, so all the family members would have a key, and we wondered if perhaps we had gotten a badly cut key. We asked Heavenly Father for help because we really didn't want to sleep in the van and tried the lock a couple more times. Still no luck. My companion walked around to the back of the cabin to see if there was another door to try. She located the back door and tried the key there, but nope, it still didn't unlock the door. Back on the front porch while I continued to try the lock she checked all the windows to make sure we couldn't get in through one of them. We were actually getting a little worried by now. We wondered if we could talk the caretaker of the nearby church girl's camp into letting us have a bed for the night. About then my friend looked out through the trees above the parking lot and said, "I think there is another cabin over there". I gazed into the darkness and thought that perhaps she was right, but wasn't really sure. We walked into the dark and as we reached a manicured, rock-lined path, the cabin, at the end of that path, became clearly visible. The key worked in the front door on the first try and Hooray -Success at last! After we unpacked the van we opened the windows and sat down in the living room to visit and enjoy the cool breeze, the wonderful pine smell, and the night noises from all the forest creatures. We laughed about our confusion and both agreed that we were grateful that we hadn't somehow managed to gain entrance to the other cabin. It would have been pretty embarrassing to spend the night in the wrong place.

As we talked, my friend mentioned that there was supposed to be a TV that we could watch DVDs on. We scanned the area but we couldn't really even locate where one would fit. My friend decided she was going to find it. It wasn't in the dining room, kitchen, bathroom or master bedroom (although she did locate a toaster oven in the closet). There was a back door at the end of the hall with only darkness visible through the diamond paned glass. No TV out there unless the skunks had borrowed it. I checked out the loft to see if the TV was there. No TV. This was a real mystery but we were both tired and decided we'd figure it out in the morning. We knew that the daughter had been to the cabin since the owner was last here so we wondered if perhaps she had taken the TV home for some reason. A TV wasn't really a necessity anyway.

The next morning, after the sun had come up, I wandered downstairs to visit the bathroom. As I turned the corner to head down the hall the light shown in through the back door and behind that door was revealed a very large, easily discernible family room addition. I was pretty sure I had located the missing TV. I opened the "back door " and sure enough there was the TV, as well as a fireplace, bookshelves, two more couches, and a puzzle table. No more TV mystery.

I went outside, through the actual back door, and sat on the bench on the patio to read my scriptures and enjoy the beautiful morning with the squirrels, deer and hummingbirds. When I was finished reading, as I sat pondering, I started thinking about our experience in the dark and how there were some life lessons that I could learn from it.

Because of the darkness that we found ourselves surrounded by we were easily confused. This confusion was increased by the fact that we hadn't heeded the counsel of someone who had gone before us. The owner knew where we were going, what we would be facing and what we would need. That is why she gave us instructions, both verbal and written. If we had brought a flashlight, we might still have headed to the wrong cabin, but we would have been able to read the sign by the front door and quickly discover that we were in the wrong place and look for other options. Also, in our excitement to reach our goal, the cabin, we failed to make sure that this was indeed where we were suppose to be going and that we were following the best route to get there. Despite the clues given by the rocks and weeds and lack of a path we just accepted our decision as being the right one and pressed forward in the most direct course. If we had read the instructions when we first arrived at the parking lot, and looked around, we would have probably located the shed with its attached light and at the least discovered the easier route, as well as being able to avoid the experience of being thrust into total darkness and the discomfort and anxiety that was associated with trying to get back to our source of light without injuring ourselves.

Frequently I do find myself "standing in the dark", just as I did on this occasion. Often it is because I failed to prepare, I didn't listen to counsel, or I rushed ahead without asking for the guidance of the spirit. When this happens I know what I need to do and where I need to go to find the light that I have lost, but sometimes returning to that light source is scary, embarrassing and very difficult and I feel like I am going to fall flat on my face. It is only as I turn around and persevere in my decision to get back to the light, that I discover that the light I am led to is a stronger, more constant light than the one I was relying on before.

The fact that the key wouldn't work in the door was another clue that we were in the wrong place, and although we questioned if this was the right cabin, we still remained firm in our desire to gain entrance. We spent time checking other doors, trying the windows, even asking Heavenly Father to help us accomplish our task of getting inside. I wondered, how often do I choose a course in my day, without ever asking for guidance as to if it is the correct decision, without a thought to the counsel and instruction I have been given, and then get upset with Heavenly Father because it seems like he isn't helping me accomplish my task at all? He doesn't get rid of the rocks and weeds in my way and he doesn't answer my prayers when I ask for his assistance in my endeavor. Could it be that my Heavenly Father knows that what I am trying to do is not in my best interest, that it could cause me embarrassment or even harm or that perhaps there is another choice that might just be the right one at this time? Once we looked for (possibly inspiration from that loving Heavenly Father who wasn't helping us at all?), and headed toward the right cabin the path became clear and although it was still dark and challenging, we were able to reach our destination and easily get inside.

In the semi-dark of the cabin hallway, we also assumed that we knew what was behind that outside door at the far end. We sincerely believed that it led to nothing but a dark night, full of scary wild animals. Often when I find myself living in spiritual darkness, away from the light that my Savior can provide, it is easy to believe that what I see around me is all that there is, all that I need, even all that I want or deserve to have. My friend and I were willing and content to sit in the relatively small living room and visit. There was a couch and a chair to sit on. It was adequate and we didn't really need anything else. However, when the morning light revealed the additional room, there was so much more. More space, more places to sit, a cozy fireplace, a table for our puzzle, the TV, and floor to ceiling windows covering every wall to let in more light and fresh air. It brought to my mind the moment when you leave the telestial kingdom in the temple and enter the terrestrial one. You don't recognize the lack of light until more light is added and everything suddenly becomes brighter. I believe that is how it is when I am truly trying to follow Jesus Christ and have is spirit to be with me. With His influence in my daily life I can see more clearly all that my Heavenly Father has to offer me, as well as the pathway that will lead me back to Him and His promised blessings. He wants so much for each of His children, so much more than we can even imagine or believe that we are deserving of. When our lives are filled with light, it is so much easier to find our way and if we make a mistake and get off course we can quickly turn around and get on the right path again.

When I returned home I was reminded of one more lesson I could learn from this experience. As I was emptying out my van, I found the instruction sheet that my friend had received from the owner. I started reading it as I walked to the recycle can. As I read the list it became very evident that there were many clues on this paper that would have guided me to an earlier discovery of the "hidden room". It mentioned several couches, a living room and a family room, extra blankets next to the fireplace, blinds that needed to be closed when we left (that were only located in the family room). I was very happy to let my friend be the one in charge of the information on this trip. I was driving my van and I had an idea of where we were going, but she had the instructions. I trusted her and I was more than willing to let her lead the way. I am not saying that my friend is not trust worthy or that she was trying to lead me astray. I'm sure that wasn't the case and after we located the family room she commented on how certain things that hadn't made sense before, did now. I was reminded however that I am responsible for where I end up in life and for what eternal reward I will receive. I shouldn't be content to let someone else read the Lord's instructions or listen to the counsel given and hope that they'll get all the necessary information and pass it on to me. If I want to receive the treasure that my Father has to offer, I have to be willing to seek out the clues that will get me to it and not depend on someone else to do it for me. There are a lot of trustworthy people who can and will help me along the way, but ultimately it is up to me to gain my own knowledge from the actual source.

Today I am grateful for

wonderful friends to spend time with.
a supportive family that are willing to let me abandon them while I have a fun get away.
generous people who share their cabin with me and my friends.

One year ago today - Visiting Teaching + Food = Feelings of Fullness