Today I went to the library to pick up some books I had on hold. As I approached the check out counter my attention was drawn to one of the machines there. What probably got my attention first was the LOUD wailing of a small baby. I couldn't see the upset infant who was curled up in a stroller but what I did see made my heart happy. The mother was standing there with 2 other children, a little boy about 3 was balancing on the step stool very seriously placing each book, from a tall stack, on the white square and waiting to hear the ding. He couldn't work very quickly because his younger sister was also vying for space on the stool and was determined to move him out of the way. The mom was being so patient, while trying to encourage the entire process along at a little faster pace. Any attempt she made to assist was met with immediate complaints of "I'm doing it" and she would
step back and let her son do it. I was proud of her control.
I quickly checked out, glanced again at the entertaining family while thinking "I'm glad I'm past that stage of my life" and walked out the door.
As I unlocked my car I had a strong desire to cry and I wasn't sure why.
I gave it some thought as I drove down the road to my next destination and I began to realize that I should have offered to help that young mother. She was handling herself just fine and she might have declined my offer, but I stil should have made the attempt.
But even more than that I should have told that mom that I was glad she had chosen to be a mother.
That I was happy she had made the effort to bring her children to the library.
That I appreciated her patience with her little ones when it would have been so much easier to move them aside and just check the books out herself.
I should have given her a pat on the back,
because mothers don't seem to get those very often.
I should have told her GOOD JOB!
and I didn't
and then I regretted it.
One of my favorite talks in the October General Conference was by Elder M. Russell Ballard and was entitled "Be Anxiously Engaged".
In this talk he encourages every man, woman and child to begin a simple practice.
"In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help ... If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible."
I have been trying to remember to do this every day and have had some sweet experiences, but today I lost focus and missed an opportunity.
And I want to say I'm sorry.
I can't go back and change what happened today, but I can look forward with a desire to improve.
Hopefully next time my spiritual sensitivities will kick into gear just a little bit faster and I can feel that I have done my best to serve God's children that I cross paths with.
Today I am thankful for
parents who treat their children with patience and love.
a women who looked for an opportunity to serve and was prompted to organize a monthly family home evening group for the "empty nesters" in our ward. Tonight was our first activity and it was so fun and uplifting to get together and eat, visit, laugh, talk of Christ and enjoy the Christmas spirit.
homemade orange rolls. YUMMY!
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Monday, December 3, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Happily Ever After
One of the living room walls in the oldest daughter's house is decorated with a "fairy tale" theme. There is a family photo in the top corner and underneath that is a collage frame with some pictures taken outside the Mesa Arizona temple on the daughter and son-in-law's wedding day. The top right space is filled with a Thomas Kincaid print of Cinderella and her prince standing on a bridge in front of their castle. Beneath the print, in large rub-on letters, is written, "And they lived happily ever after".
I have always liked this wall. To me it speaks of love and commitment and lots of joy.
When we received word of the grandson's initial cancer diagnosis, for some reason a picture came into my mind of the oldest daughter returning to their home from the hospital, opening the door and being confronted by that wall.
I considered the impact it would have on her.
When she walked into her house and read those words what would she think?
Would she feel that they were a mockery? an unfulfilled wish? a blatant lie? the end of a dream?
Would they fill her with more pain and sorrow? My mother's heart broke at the very thought.
When we arrived in California and I took my first look at this wall, I will admit that many of those thoughts passed through my mind.
I can honestly say that I spent some time considering how difficult it would be to remove the writing from the wall before the daughter ever had to read it again.
Then we went to the hospital and I saw the grandson and the daughter and the son-in-law.
I saw the love and the commitment of two struggling, but faithful parents.
I saw the sweet little boy who has brought, and will always bring, a special joy to our family.
I still questioned the "happily ever after" ending to their story, but the urgency to permanently remove those words from their home lessened immensely. I was willing to let them stay right where they were for the time being.
Each day, as I came down the stairs, or entered the house, I looked at that wall and each day I tried to make peace with the thoughts the words evoked.
At times they spoke of hope and seemed to hold a promise that there would still be a fairy tale ending to this tale.
At other times they seemed to laugh in my face and question my grasp on reality,
but more and more I knew that I wouldn't be the one to decide if they stayed or not.
The words would greet my daughter when she returned home.
Their fate would be her decision, not mine.
Today I went to the daughter's blog to see if she had updated and once again saw those words. This time emblazoned across the top of her post - Happily Ever After. As I read what she had written, and then the talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf that she referred to, I realized the decision had been made.
The peace came.
The words will stay, right where they have always belonged.
There are times in my life when I feel foolish.
When I realize that my children will teach me much more in my lifetime than I can ever hope to teach them.
When I remember what I already knew, but managed to forget for a short time.
The day the oldest daughter and the son-in-law became a family was not the end of the story, but an exciting and promising chapter in the book. What is taking place in their lives right now is also just another segment of that story, albeit a more heart wrenching and tear jerking section. And most likely there will be a lot more happy and harrowing, sad and silly, tender and tedious chapters to follow.
Life is meant to be like that and the "happily ever after" ending comes right where it belongs - at the END,
which I wholeheartedly believe is where the next book will begin.
The sequel, filled with "happily ever after" moments and eternal life, the culmination of the trilogy.
"The Father's plan of happiness for His children includes not only a premortal and mortal life but also an eternal life as well, including a great and glorious reunion with those we have lost. All wrongs will be righted, and we will see with perfect clarity and faultless perspective and understanding."
"From the limited perspective of those who do not have knowledge, understanding or faith in the Father's plan - who look at the world only through the lens of mortality with its wars, violence, disease, and evil - this life can seem depressing, chaotic, unfair, and meaningless. Church leaders have compared this perspective with someone walking into the middle of a three-act play. Those without knowledge of the Father's plan do not understand what happened in the first act, or the premortal existence, and the purposes established there; nor do they understand the clarification and resolution that come in the third act, which is the glorious fulfillment of the Father's plan." Elder Quentin L. Cook, "The Songs They Could Not Sing".
"'And they all lived happily ever after' is never written into the second act. That line belongs in the third act when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right." Elder Boyd K. Packer.
This mortal life, like any fairy tale, will be filled with its share of happy moments - feasts and balls, love and learning, singing and selfless service, but it will also include adversity, trials and temptations - wicked witches, poisoned apples, thorns and thistles, debilitating "curses" and even death.
It has to be that way. That's how we learn.
It is all part of a loving author's plan for each of our lives and how we get to our "Happily Ever After" ending.
Grab on to a friend's hand and the Savior's hand and lets go live our story the best we can, so its culmination will bring the ending we are hoping for, the ending which our Heavenly Father has prepared for us - never ending happiness and eternal life.
Today I am thankful for
my knowledge of God's plan of happiness.
a visit to the skin and cancer center. It is wonderful to, once a year, be praised for and congratulated on my perfect, pale, pasty white skin.
a visiting teaching companion that makes the appointments, prepares the lesson and brings the treat.
the odd junk items I have lying around the house. They entertain the cats and I don't have to waste my money on cat toys.
a daughter, who chose to fulfill her church calling despite her own trials, and learned something that she then decided to share so I could be reminded of something I needed to remember. Amazing how that all works.
I have always liked this wall. To me it speaks of love and commitment and lots of joy.
When we received word of the grandson's initial cancer diagnosis, for some reason a picture came into my mind of the oldest daughter returning to their home from the hospital, opening the door and being confronted by that wall.
I considered the impact it would have on her.
When she walked into her house and read those words what would she think?
Would she feel that they were a mockery? an unfulfilled wish? a blatant lie? the end of a dream?
Would they fill her with more pain and sorrow? My mother's heart broke at the very thought.
When we arrived in California and I took my first look at this wall, I will admit that many of those thoughts passed through my mind.
I can honestly say that I spent some time considering how difficult it would be to remove the writing from the wall before the daughter ever had to read it again.
Then we went to the hospital and I saw the grandson and the daughter and the son-in-law.
I saw the love and the commitment of two struggling, but faithful parents.
I saw the sweet little boy who has brought, and will always bring, a special joy to our family.
I still questioned the "happily ever after" ending to their story, but the urgency to permanently remove those words from their home lessened immensely. I was willing to let them stay right where they were for the time being.
Each day, as I came down the stairs, or entered the house, I looked at that wall and each day I tried to make peace with the thoughts the words evoked.
At times they spoke of hope and seemed to hold a promise that there would still be a fairy tale ending to this tale.
At other times they seemed to laugh in my face and question my grasp on reality,
but more and more I knew that I wouldn't be the one to decide if they stayed or not.
The words would greet my daughter when she returned home.
Their fate would be her decision, not mine.
Today I went to the daughter's blog to see if she had updated and once again saw those words. This time emblazoned across the top of her post - Happily Ever After. As I read what she had written, and then the talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf that she referred to, I realized the decision had been made.
The peace came.
The words will stay, right where they have always belonged.
There are times in my life when I feel foolish.
When I realize that my children will teach me much more in my lifetime than I can ever hope to teach them.
When I remember what I already knew, but managed to forget for a short time.
The day the oldest daughter and the son-in-law became a family was not the end of the story, but an exciting and promising chapter in the book. What is taking place in their lives right now is also just another segment of that story, albeit a more heart wrenching and tear jerking section. And most likely there will be a lot more happy and harrowing, sad and silly, tender and tedious chapters to follow.
Life is meant to be like that and the "happily ever after" ending comes right where it belongs - at the END,
which I wholeheartedly believe is where the next book will begin.
The sequel, filled with "happily ever after" moments and eternal life, the culmination of the trilogy.
"The Father's plan of happiness for His children includes not only a premortal and mortal life but also an eternal life as well, including a great and glorious reunion with those we have lost. All wrongs will be righted, and we will see with perfect clarity and faultless perspective and understanding."
"From the limited perspective of those who do not have knowledge, understanding or faith in the Father's plan - who look at the world only through the lens of mortality with its wars, violence, disease, and evil - this life can seem depressing, chaotic, unfair, and meaningless. Church leaders have compared this perspective with someone walking into the middle of a three-act play. Those without knowledge of the Father's plan do not understand what happened in the first act, or the premortal existence, and the purposes established there; nor do they understand the clarification and resolution that come in the third act, which is the glorious fulfillment of the Father's plan." Elder Quentin L. Cook, "The Songs They Could Not Sing".
"'And they all lived happily ever after' is never written into the second act. That line belongs in the third act when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right." Elder Boyd K. Packer.
This mortal life, like any fairy tale, will be filled with its share of happy moments - feasts and balls, love and learning, singing and selfless service, but it will also include adversity, trials and temptations - wicked witches, poisoned apples, thorns and thistles, debilitating "curses" and even death.
It has to be that way. That's how we learn.
It is all part of a loving author's plan for each of our lives and how we get to our "Happily Ever After" ending.
Grab on to a friend's hand and the Savior's hand and lets go live our story the best we can, so its culmination will bring the ending we are hoping for, the ending which our Heavenly Father has prepared for us - never ending happiness and eternal life.
Today I am thankful for
my knowledge of God's plan of happiness.
a visit to the skin and cancer center. It is wonderful to, once a year, be praised for and congratulated on my perfect, pale, pasty white skin.
a visiting teaching companion that makes the appointments, prepares the lesson and brings the treat.
the odd junk items I have lying around the house. They entertain the cats and I don't have to waste my money on cat toys.
a daughter, who chose to fulfill her church calling despite her own trials, and learned something that she then decided to share so I could be reminded of something I needed to remember. Amazing how that all works.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Empty Nest
I can totally relate to the mother in this video right now.
Should I be sad or go celebrate?
Today I am grateful for
a daughter who created a blog to keep me connected to the grandson.
good choices.
a phone call from my sister.
new blogs from the youngest daughter.
Monday, January 11, 2010
A Cell Phone is NOT a Necessity
My youngest son's cell phone is currently in my possession. Since we (the hubby's money and my check writing, envelope licking, and stamp sticking skills) pay the cell phone bill each month, we set up a few simple rules for its use. One rule is that the cell phone shouldn't be used at the dinner table or during Family Home Evening. The biggest rule is that the cell phone can and will be taken away for disrespectful behavior. Tonight during Family Home Evening when the son kept texting his friend and his mouth kept running faster than his brain I had finally had enough and asked for his cell phone. Following some extreme theatrics I was given the phone and I am not planning on returning it anytime within the next 24 hours. Every few minutes the son comes in with another reason why he NEEDS his cell phone right now.
He NEEDS it to wake him up in the morning. He does use the alarm on his cell phone to wake up, but lately he still seems to need a couple of parental reminders as well and he does have an alarm clock next to his bed, so I'm pretty sure we'll manage to get him up on time in the morning even without his phone.
He NEEDS to call someone really important. Hard as it is to believe, we have a house phone that calls people just as well as his cell phone does. No, he can't take it outside and around the corner and up on the top of the block wall to chat in private, but it would still work.
He NEEDS it to text me and let me know if he needs a ride home from school or not tomorrow. I do appreciate his texts that say that our neighbor can give him a ride, which saves me a trip, but I told him I will just plan on picking him up tomorrow so that alleviates that problem. He's pretty sure that just won't work.
I don't think anyone really NEEDS a cell phone. Yes, my cell phone makes my life easier and there are times that I wonder how I ever managed without one, but if I didn't have one I would still survive. I'm almost positive that a cell phone is a WANT and not a NEED.
This line of thinking has reminded me of two items I have been musing about recently. Friday morning a friend of mine received the following text that she shared with me.
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing: Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Definitely something to think about. I can honestly say I do know where my Bible is but do I NEED my scriptures as frequently and fervently as I seem to NEED my cell phone.
The second thing is this post I read today about a year long activity focusing on "Every Needful Thing". What is it that I actually do NEED in my life? I'm pretty sure that it's not a cell phone, but I'm interested in participating in this journey and being reminded of the things that I do NEED and trying to include them in my daily life. Perhaps you'd like to join me.
Today I am grateful for
a house that is a tiny bit more organized.
zucchini and scrambled eggs.
January in Arizona.
He NEEDS it to wake him up in the morning. He does use the alarm on his cell phone to wake up, but lately he still seems to need a couple of parental reminders as well and he does have an alarm clock next to his bed, so I'm pretty sure we'll manage to get him up on time in the morning even without his phone.
He NEEDS to call someone really important. Hard as it is to believe, we have a house phone that calls people just as well as his cell phone does. No, he can't take it outside and around the corner and up on the top of the block wall to chat in private, but it would still work.
He NEEDS it to text me and let me know if he needs a ride home from school or not tomorrow. I do appreciate his texts that say that our neighbor can give him a ride, which saves me a trip, but I told him I will just plan on picking him up tomorrow so that alleviates that problem. He's pretty sure that just won't work.
I don't think anyone really NEEDS a cell phone. Yes, my cell phone makes my life easier and there are times that I wonder how I ever managed without one, but if I didn't have one I would still survive. I'm almost positive that a cell phone is a WANT and not a NEED.
This line of thinking has reminded me of two items I have been musing about recently. Friday morning a friend of mine received the following text that she shared with me.
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing: Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Definitely something to think about. I can honestly say I do know where my Bible is but do I NEED my scriptures as frequently and fervently as I seem to NEED my cell phone.
The second thing is this post I read today about a year long activity focusing on "Every Needful Thing". What is it that I actually do NEED in my life? I'm pretty sure that it's not a cell phone, but I'm interested in participating in this journey and being reminded of the things that I do NEED and trying to include them in my daily life. Perhaps you'd like to join me.
Today I am grateful for
a house that is a tiny bit more organized.
zucchini and scrambled eggs.
January in Arizona.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Bamboozled!
On Monday when my oldest daughter and I were getting ready to leave Utah and return home to Arizona I received a phone call from my youngest son. He wanted to know if it would be OK for him to go to Snowflake for the weekend with his sister and the roommate. I couldn't figure out why this request was phone call worthy and why he hadn't just waited to ask me when I got home. It made me think that there might be more to the story than I was being told. Perhaps there was something that he was suppose to be doing this weekend and he was hoping I wouldn't remember until after I had given my permission. I told him we would discuss it in person and then I thought and thought about his request. What was the rest of the story? Why did he want to go so bad? Was I forgetting something? I couldn't come up with anything.
When I arrived home we discussed it at dinner and I gave him my usual hard time (because it's fun to watch him sweat and I don't get to have fun that often) and then I told him I would think about it. The next day I told him that it was fine if he wanted to go. He seemed really surprised that I had said yes. Once again, I wondered if I was missing part of the story.
Today the oldest son and I were discussing why the roommate/girlfriend hadn't gone to Snowflake and I said that I was surprised that the kid had been so excited about the outing and wondered why. His response was "because ______ was going to Snowflake to visit her cousin this weekend, of course." Fill in the blank with the name of the cute girl who the youngest son has a thing for at the moment. Bam! All of the sudden the entire story became perfectly clear. I knew why he wanted to go and I also knew what he didn't want me to know. I have been bamboozled by the boy! I still would have let him go, even if he had given me all the details. I'm really not as mean as he seems to think I am, but don't tell him that. I have an image I have to maintain. I'm looking forward to having some more fun when he gets home. I've got something new to give him a hard time about.
Today I am thankful for
my son who inadvertantly shared "the rest of the story" and also bought me lunch.
my hubby who went to the grocery store with me and earned the money to pay for all the stuff we bought.
easily fixed mistakes.
One year ago today - 3 "Men" and a Lady
When I arrived home we discussed it at dinner and I gave him my usual hard time (because it's fun to watch him sweat and I don't get to have fun that often) and then I told him I would think about it. The next day I told him that it was fine if he wanted to go. He seemed really surprised that I had said yes. Once again, I wondered if I was missing part of the story.
Today the oldest son and I were discussing why the roommate/girlfriend hadn't gone to Snowflake and I said that I was surprised that the kid had been so excited about the outing and wondered why. His response was "because ______ was going to Snowflake to visit her cousin this weekend, of course." Fill in the blank with the name of the cute girl who the youngest son has a thing for at the moment. Bam! All of the sudden the entire story became perfectly clear. I knew why he wanted to go and I also knew what he didn't want me to know. I have been bamboozled by the boy! I still would have let him go, even if he had given me all the details. I'm really not as mean as he seems to think I am, but don't tell him that. I have an image I have to maintain. I'm looking forward to having some more fun when he gets home. I've got something new to give him a hard time about.
Today I am thankful for
my son who inadvertantly shared "the rest of the story" and also bought me lunch.
my hubby who went to the grocery store with me and earned the money to pay for all the stuff we bought.
easily fixed mistakes.
One year ago today - 3 "Men" and a Lady
Thursday, May 28, 2009
New and Improved
Frequently companies come out with new and improved versions of their products. Sometimes I am a fan of the new version and sometimes I wonder why they couldn't have just left a product I already liked alone.
Take the new and improved brown licorice - not a fan.
However, Press and Seal plastic wrap - a big fan.
I would have to say that I am definitely a fan of the "new" resealable Oreo cookie package.
Now, I know that this design has been around for awhile, but I usually only purchase Oreos once a year so I haven't really tested it out before now. I thought it was a great improvement. I could close those cookies up pretty tight and still get at them in a matter of seconds when the urge hit me.
Then I think there are some improvements that sound like a good idea in theory, but end up having some inherent problems. Recently my youngest son became the proud owner of a new pair of scout pants. These pants are the new Centennial design and they are long pants with legs that zip off to become shorts.
Great idea you would think but let's think a little harder. Here is a group of scouts out hiking. They get hot and wah-la their long pants become shorts. Perfect. Unless you are a mother of one of those scouts. If the bottom portion of the pant leg actually makes it into the back pack rather than left on a rock or accidentally dropped from a pocket somewhere along the trail, it most likely will not end up in the laundry when he returns home. It's small and easy to miss. I have spent lots of bonding time with my sons searching for a missing scout shirt or scout pants 20 minutes before that court of honor where a scout uniform is a requirement. These new and improved pants just add the very real possibility of 2 more missing items to frantically hunt for.
Or imagine the last day of a week at scout camp. All of the scouts are packing their bags and the scout leaders are picking up the left over items. Here we have a pile of scout pant legs. How do they decide which legs belong with which pair of pants? The boys certainly don't know which ones are theirs. It's possible the ones from their tent belong to them, but it's just as possible that they were thrown into their tent during a pant leg fight. The leaders very efficiently divide up the legs. Each boy gets two and quite possibly ends up going home with one short leg and one long leg, or 2 left legs. Not a pretty sight. Perhaps other scouts are more responsible they my boys were at 13, but I'm not counting on it. This might be a great idea or it might be a huge mistake. I will wait to give my final verdict on this change, at least until my 17 year old gets home from scout camp on Saturday, hopefully with his pants all in one piece.
One year ago today - Poison Cake, Lunch in a Truck
Take the new and improved brown licorice - not a fan.
However, Press and Seal plastic wrap - a big fan.
I would have to say that I am definitely a fan of the "new" resealable Oreo cookie package.
Now, I know that this design has been around for awhile, but I usually only purchase Oreos once a year so I haven't really tested it out before now. I thought it was a great improvement. I could close those cookies up pretty tight and still get at them in a matter of seconds when the urge hit me.
Then I think there are some improvements that sound like a good idea in theory, but end up having some inherent problems. Recently my youngest son became the proud owner of a new pair of scout pants. These pants are the new Centennial design and they are long pants with legs that zip off to become shorts.
Great idea you would think but let's think a little harder. Here is a group of scouts out hiking. They get hot and wah-la their long pants become shorts. Perfect. Unless you are a mother of one of those scouts. If the bottom portion of the pant leg actually makes it into the back pack rather than left on a rock or accidentally dropped from a pocket somewhere along the trail, it most likely will not end up in the laundry when he returns home. It's small and easy to miss. I have spent lots of bonding time with my sons searching for a missing scout shirt or scout pants 20 minutes before that court of honor where a scout uniform is a requirement. These new and improved pants just add the very real possibility of 2 more missing items to frantically hunt for.Or imagine the last day of a week at scout camp. All of the scouts are packing their bags and the scout leaders are picking up the left over items. Here we have a pile of scout pant legs. How do they decide which legs belong with which pair of pants? The boys certainly don't know which ones are theirs. It's possible the ones from their tent belong to them, but it's just as possible that they were thrown into their tent during a pant leg fight. The leaders very efficiently divide up the legs. Each boy gets two and quite possibly ends up going home with one short leg and one long leg, or 2 left legs. Not a pretty sight. Perhaps other scouts are more responsible they my boys were at 13, but I'm not counting on it. This might be a great idea or it might be a huge mistake. I will wait to give my final verdict on this change, at least until my 17 year old gets home from scout camp on Saturday, hopefully with his pants all in one piece.
One year ago today - Poison Cake, Lunch in a Truck
Monday, May 18, 2009
Nicest Mom in the World
Today I went to the oldest daughter's Second Grade to help get some stuff filed and put away for the summer. It's obvious that I haven't spent as much time with this group of students as I did with her Kindergarten classes. Every time I arrive we have to go through the questions all over again. "Are you her mother?" "Are you sure?" "Why didn't her dad come with you?" "Are teacher's parents allowed in the classroom?" "How old are you?"
Today after I left one of the students asked, "Where did your mom go? Did she leave?" My daughter told him that yes, I had gone home. To that he replied, "She must be the nicest mom in the world. I didn't hear her yell once." Little does he know what I'm really like, but it's a title to shoot for.
Today after I left one of the students asked, "Where did your mom go? Did she leave?" My daughter told him that yes, I had gone home. To that he replied, "She must be the nicest mom in the world. I didn't hear her yell once." Little does he know what I'm really like, but it's a title to shoot for.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Playing Favorites
Today I had a short chat with my youngest son's school counselor (and yes, dear child, it is perfectly legal for me to have a conversation with your counselor. I asked her just to make sure.). Along with other things we discussed, she asked me why he wasn't too fond of one of his teachers (I had mentioned this fact in a previous conversation). I told her I wasn't really sure of his reasons. It seems like they change frequently depending on his mood and his favorite word for the day. He really isn't fond of too many people in the world and even fewer teachers. (The reason he doesn't care for this counselor is because she once said to him "You must be smart." Go figure.) Anyway, she responded with an "Oh yes, I forgot, he's a teenager." I guess I should take comfort in knowing that my son isn't the only "hater" in Tempe and yet it doesn't give me much comfort.
On the way home from school I decided to ask for his answer to this question. He made a couple of derogatory comments and then added "and he plays favorites." I asked the son how he thought these students became the teacher's favorites and he expounded their virtues. "They do what he asks. They help him. They do extra stuff. They are overachievers..." I then told him they would probably be my favorites too. I mean yes, it is probably wrong for teachers, or parents, or employers to have favorites, but get real. If you are nice to me and do what you are suppose to do and even a few extra things that I don't expect now and then, then chances are I am going to like you. You might even be my favorite. That's just human nature.
I thought it was interesting as I was blog hopping tonight that I ran into this blog post entitled Favorites. Now, I have absolutely no idea who this blogger is. (It's amazing the places you end up when you keep clicking on links). However, I loved what he had to say and how he said it. I thought it would be good reference material for the son if he ever decides he wants to become some one's favorite, besides his mom's of course. (Oh, but don't tell his siblings I said that. They each think they are my favorite). Check out the Favorites post and see what you think. Pretty good and honest advice in my opinion.
Today I am thankful for
fresh cherries for 88 cents a pound.
a "quilting bee" with a few of my Relief Society Sisters.
zucchini and scrambled eggs.
On the way home from school I decided to ask for his answer to this question. He made a couple of derogatory comments and then added "and he plays favorites." I asked the son how he thought these students became the teacher's favorites and he expounded their virtues. "They do what he asks. They help him. They do extra stuff. They are overachievers..." I then told him they would probably be my favorites too. I mean yes, it is probably wrong for teachers, or parents, or employers to have favorites, but get real. If you are nice to me and do what you are suppose to do and even a few extra things that I don't expect now and then, then chances are I am going to like you. You might even be my favorite. That's just human nature.
I thought it was interesting as I was blog hopping tonight that I ran into this blog post entitled Favorites. Now, I have absolutely no idea who this blogger is. (It's amazing the places you end up when you keep clicking on links). However, I loved what he had to say and how he said it. I thought it would be good reference material for the son if he ever decides he wants to become some one's favorite, besides his mom's of course. (Oh, but don't tell his siblings I said that. They each think they are my favorite). Check out the Favorites post and see what you think. Pretty good and honest advice in my opinion.
Today I am thankful for
fresh cherries for 88 cents a pound.
a "quilting bee" with a few of my Relief Society Sisters.
zucchini and scrambled eggs.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day Eulogy
Whenever I go to a funeral I try to imagine what someone will say about me after I am gone. I sometimes have a hard time believing that any of my kids, or anyone else for that matter, will be able to come up with anything kind to say. A couple of years ago it was proclaimed by one of my children that the musical number at my funeral was going to be "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". However, today I kind of felt like I was Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn hiding in the balcony of the church and listening to my own eulogy when my oldest son spoke in sacrament meeting. He should probably keep track of this talk. It might come in handy some day. I am including it here for his Grandma's benefit (she likes to hear what her grandkids have to say) but you can read it if you want to.
A mother held her new baby
and very slowly
rocked him back and forth,
back and forth,back and forth.
And while she held him,
she sang: (and yes the son sang)
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
Of course, I have been asked to speak about mothers on this special day, but more specifically I was asked to speak about my own mom. This may seem like an easy topic, but I have struggled over what to say for a while. Brother Jones told me when he asked me to speak that this talk should make my mother cry. I immediately started thinking of times that I have not followed my mom's counsel and the tragedies that happened as a result, which often made her cry. Then I realized that I am probably supposed to be making her cry tears of joy. So, I have been trying to figure out what it was that I could say to my mother to portray to her the profound effect she has had on my life. Rudyard Kipling once wrote, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers”. I have a firm testimony that this is true. There is nobody on this earth that has influenced my life as much as my mother. I could not ask for a better example. In an article written by Thomas S. Monson, he referenced ten suggestions given to mothers by President Ezra Taft Benson. I would like to analyze these traits and how my mother has accomplished or strives to accomplish each of these things
the first is "Take time to always be at the crossroads in the lives of your children, whether they be six or sixteen." As I think back over the major events in my life, there are always familiar faces in the crowd, including my mothers, but as I think of some of the seemingly more minor events, there is still one face that stands out, that of my mother.
2. "Take time to be a real friend to your children." As hard as it is to believe, there was a time in my life, that I thought my mother's sole purpose in this world was to cause me as much embarrassment as possible, when this happens, especially around friends, you tend to take on a macho attitude of I don’t need you. Even through this phase, my mother never gave up trying to be my friend, trying to find out how she could make my life better. As I have grown older, I have tried harder to reciprocate that friendship, and now I have what I feel is a strong relationship with my mother. Are there still things I don’t want to tell her, sure, there are some things that I don’t want to share. Chalk that one up to human nature. However, I do know that I can tell her anything and she would be there with her unwavering love and support.
3. "Take time to read to your children." Remember what the poet wrote: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be— I had a mother who read to me. The beginning of my talk came from the first story that I can remember my mother reading to me. My children at work have recently discovered this book, and every time they ask me to read it to them I can still hear my mom’s voice,
“That teenager grew.
He grew and he grew and he grew.
He grew until he was a grown-up man.
He left home and got a house across town.
But sometimes on dark nights
the mother got into her car
and drove across town.
If all the lights in her son's house were out,
she opened his bedroom window,
crawled across the floor,
and looked up over the side of his bed.
If that great big man was really asleep
she picked him up
and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
4. "Take time to pray with your children."
This is a tricky one mostly because there are times that children feel there are more important things to do than pray, but parents often intervene and help to teach the importance of prayer. My own mother has shown me by example the importance and power of prayer, and it is a tool that I have grown to love. Although we are older, my mother still strives to ensure that our family gathers to pray each day.
5. "Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening." Make this one of your great family traditions. Now if you asked my mother she may say that this is one of the chinks in her motherly armor. However I would submit that I learned the importance of family home evening somewhere, I feel that it was those nights as a child when we would have a lesson. I remember very vividly some the stories that where shared and the principles that were taught. I remember simply being to spend time with my family, and occasionally use the time to play Don’t Eat Pete. I learned from my mother’s example, why it is important to take time to strengthen the bonds of the family, and as I know contemplate having my own family, I know the importance of Family Home Evening.
6. "Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible." Growing up, it seems that we always ate dinner as a family, and then slowly but surely people got older, Jessica went off to college, our family dwindled, but we still ate with the remainder of our family. Then Janaya moved out, again our family shrunk but we that were left still ate dinner together. Now it seems that our own lives often take us to separate destinations at mealtime, but occasionally I get the joy of eating dinner with my whole family. A family that though once disintegrating now when all together requires extra space at the table, room for a brother-in-law, a fiancée, and an adopted sister, as well of all those family members that once went there own separate ways.
7. "Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family." I don’t know if any of you have had the opportunity to read scriptures with Jayce when he would rather do something else, but I guarantee you that if my mom feels that it is important enough to read scriptures together even after dealing with that, there must be something to it. I am grateful that my mother would take the time to help her family search the scriptures even with such distractions.
8. "Take time to do things together as a family." I can still remember being dragged across this great state to have day trips with my family. There were times when I loved these trips, and times that I hated them. Looking back now, I see that they were simply a way of strengthening our family. A family that I am constantly grateful for, that has a strong adhesive in large part due to our mother. I can guarantee that nobody else in our family would have ensured that these trips were taken with all the complaining the occasionally accompanied them.
9. "Take time to teach your children." My mom writes a blog, and it is by far one of the better blogs I have an opportunity to read. One day as I was perusing, I noticed an entry that I will now share, it was titled back off. We had a ward talent show tonight and it was fun to get to go and enjoy some time with the other members of the ward. The hubby and I went as a two-some since all of our family members had other plans. I like to see our nursery children in settings other than nursery and see how they respond to me. I sat on the floor of the gym and played ball with one of them, and another one enjoyed sitting on my lap and melting ice cubes in his hands all over the two of us. They make me feel loved and important. It is kind of sad though that the nursery group that moved up to Sunbeams in January don't seem to want to be bothered by me any more. I started talking to one of the little boys and he held up his hand in front of him, in a stop sign, and firmly stated, "I'm in primary now." In other words, "Back Off. I've moved on and I don't need you to hold my hand or wipe my nose or dry my tears or build block towers for me to knock down or take me potty anymore. I am bigger now." It took me back for a moment and then it just made me laugh. For the rest of the night, when I would see him, I'd say "Oh, you're in Primary now." and then the two of us would both giggle about it.Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
This is the comment that I shared after reading this blog, Please remember that all those unintentional snubs are really just pats on the back saying what a great mother you are. It is because of you that we are able to build our own towers, and find joy in the building of those towers. Also remember that the foundation of those towers is in your home, reinforced with your love, and should those towers happen to fall, the foundation will remain. That is what you have given us:) Through the teachings of my mother, I have become, the man I am today and I am sure that many of you can tell she didn’t do too shabby a job. I am not perfect, but I am far closer than I would be without her.
10. "Take time to truly love your children." A mother’s unqualified love approaches Christlike love. I know this to be true, there are so many times that I have made my mother’s life her own personal prison, regardless of my stupid choices, decisions that sometimes result in damage such as a hole in the wall, my mother shows over and over her love for me. Only my mother could take a hole in the wall, and turn it into a beautiful teaching opportunity.
President Hinckley shared this advice to mothers, “I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances.” I want my mother to know how much she means to me. There are so many blessings in my life that stem directly from her being a part of it. I echo the sentiments of Abraham Lincoln who said, “All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.”
I’d like to close with another portion of the book I began with.
Well, that mother, she got older.
She got older and older and older.
One day she called up her son and said,
"You'd better come see me
because I'm very old and sick."
So her son came to see her.
When he came in the door
she tried to sing the song.
She sang: I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish
because she was too old and sick.
The son went to his mother.
He picked her up
and rocked her back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
And yes I cried, just like it was a funeral, but I'm glad he said those nice things while I was still here to hear them.
P.S. If you are not familiar with the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch you need to read it. It is one of my favorite children's books and, in my opinion, every family should have a copy of it.
A mother held her new baby
and very slowly
rocked him back and forth,
back and forth,back and forth.
And while she held him,
she sang: (and yes the son sang)
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
Of course, I have been asked to speak about mothers on this special day, but more specifically I was asked to speak about my own mom. This may seem like an easy topic, but I have struggled over what to say for a while. Brother Jones told me when he asked me to speak that this talk should make my mother cry. I immediately started thinking of times that I have not followed my mom's counsel and the tragedies that happened as a result, which often made her cry. Then I realized that I am probably supposed to be making her cry tears of joy. So, I have been trying to figure out what it was that I could say to my mother to portray to her the profound effect she has had on my life. Rudyard Kipling once wrote, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers”. I have a firm testimony that this is true. There is nobody on this earth that has influenced my life as much as my mother. I could not ask for a better example. In an article written by Thomas S. Monson, he referenced ten suggestions given to mothers by President Ezra Taft Benson. I would like to analyze these traits and how my mother has accomplished or strives to accomplish each of these things
the first is "Take time to always be at the crossroads in the lives of your children, whether they be six or sixteen." As I think back over the major events in my life, there are always familiar faces in the crowd, including my mothers, but as I think of some of the seemingly more minor events, there is still one face that stands out, that of my mother.
2. "Take time to be a real friend to your children." As hard as it is to believe, there was a time in my life, that I thought my mother's sole purpose in this world was to cause me as much embarrassment as possible, when this happens, especially around friends, you tend to take on a macho attitude of I don’t need you. Even through this phase, my mother never gave up trying to be my friend, trying to find out how she could make my life better. As I have grown older, I have tried harder to reciprocate that friendship, and now I have what I feel is a strong relationship with my mother. Are there still things I don’t want to tell her, sure, there are some things that I don’t want to share. Chalk that one up to human nature. However, I do know that I can tell her anything and she would be there with her unwavering love and support.
3. "Take time to read to your children." Remember what the poet wrote: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be— I had a mother who read to me. The beginning of my talk came from the first story that I can remember my mother reading to me. My children at work have recently discovered this book, and every time they ask me to read it to them I can still hear my mom’s voice,
“That teenager grew.
He grew and he grew and he grew.
He grew until he was a grown-up man.
He left home and got a house across town.
But sometimes on dark nights
the mother got into her car
and drove across town.
If all the lights in her son's house were out,
she opened his bedroom window,
crawled across the floor,
and looked up over the side of his bed.
If that great big man was really asleep
she picked him up
and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
4. "Take time to pray with your children."
This is a tricky one mostly because there are times that children feel there are more important things to do than pray, but parents often intervene and help to teach the importance of prayer. My own mother has shown me by example the importance and power of prayer, and it is a tool that I have grown to love. Although we are older, my mother still strives to ensure that our family gathers to pray each day.
5. "Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening." Make this one of your great family traditions. Now if you asked my mother she may say that this is one of the chinks in her motherly armor. However I would submit that I learned the importance of family home evening somewhere, I feel that it was those nights as a child when we would have a lesson. I remember very vividly some the stories that where shared and the principles that were taught. I remember simply being to spend time with my family, and occasionally use the time to play Don’t Eat Pete. I learned from my mother’s example, why it is important to take time to strengthen the bonds of the family, and as I know contemplate having my own family, I know the importance of Family Home Evening.
6. "Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible." Growing up, it seems that we always ate dinner as a family, and then slowly but surely people got older, Jessica went off to college, our family dwindled, but we still ate with the remainder of our family. Then Janaya moved out, again our family shrunk but we that were left still ate dinner together. Now it seems that our own lives often take us to separate destinations at mealtime, but occasionally I get the joy of eating dinner with my whole family. A family that though once disintegrating now when all together requires extra space at the table, room for a brother-in-law, a fiancée, and an adopted sister, as well of all those family members that once went there own separate ways.
7. "Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family." I don’t know if any of you have had the opportunity to read scriptures with Jayce when he would rather do something else, but I guarantee you that if my mom feels that it is important enough to read scriptures together even after dealing with that, there must be something to it. I am grateful that my mother would take the time to help her family search the scriptures even with such distractions.
8. "Take time to do things together as a family." I can still remember being dragged across this great state to have day trips with my family. There were times when I loved these trips, and times that I hated them. Looking back now, I see that they were simply a way of strengthening our family. A family that I am constantly grateful for, that has a strong adhesive in large part due to our mother. I can guarantee that nobody else in our family would have ensured that these trips were taken with all the complaining the occasionally accompanied them.
9. "Take time to teach your children." My mom writes a blog, and it is by far one of the better blogs I have an opportunity to read. One day as I was perusing, I noticed an entry that I will now share, it was titled back off. We had a ward talent show tonight and it was fun to get to go and enjoy some time with the other members of the ward. The hubby and I went as a two-some since all of our family members had other plans. I like to see our nursery children in settings other than nursery and see how they respond to me. I sat on the floor of the gym and played ball with one of them, and another one enjoyed sitting on my lap and melting ice cubes in his hands all over the two of us. They make me feel loved and important. It is kind of sad though that the nursery group that moved up to Sunbeams in January don't seem to want to be bothered by me any more. I started talking to one of the little boys and he held up his hand in front of him, in a stop sign, and firmly stated, "I'm in primary now." In other words, "Back Off. I've moved on and I don't need you to hold my hand or wipe my nose or dry my tears or build block towers for me to knock down or take me potty anymore. I am bigger now." It took me back for a moment and then it just made me laugh. For the rest of the night, when I would see him, I'd say "Oh, you're in Primary now." and then the two of us would both giggle about it.Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
This is the comment that I shared after reading this blog, Please remember that all those unintentional snubs are really just pats on the back saying what a great mother you are. It is because of you that we are able to build our own towers, and find joy in the building of those towers. Also remember that the foundation of those towers is in your home, reinforced with your love, and should those towers happen to fall, the foundation will remain. That is what you have given us:) Through the teachings of my mother, I have become, the man I am today and I am sure that many of you can tell she didn’t do too shabby a job. I am not perfect, but I am far closer than I would be without her.
10. "Take time to truly love your children." A mother’s unqualified love approaches Christlike love. I know this to be true, there are so many times that I have made my mother’s life her own personal prison, regardless of my stupid choices, decisions that sometimes result in damage such as a hole in the wall, my mother shows over and over her love for me. Only my mother could take a hole in the wall, and turn it into a beautiful teaching opportunity.
President Hinckley shared this advice to mothers, “I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances.” I want my mother to know how much she means to me. There are so many blessings in my life that stem directly from her being a part of it. I echo the sentiments of Abraham Lincoln who said, “All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.”
I’d like to close with another portion of the book I began with.
Well, that mother, she got older.
She got older and older and older.
One day she called up her son and said,
"You'd better come see me
because I'm very old and sick."
So her son came to see her.
When he came in the door
she tried to sing the song.
She sang: I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish
because she was too old and sick.
The son went to his mother.
He picked her up
and rocked her back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
And yes I cried, just like it was a funeral, but I'm glad he said those nice things while I was still here to hear them.
P.S. If you are not familiar with the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch you need to read it. It is one of my favorite children's books and, in my opinion, every family should have a copy of it.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sluffer
My boys think it is so funny when I refer to not going to school or work as sluffin' as in "Did you sluff math today?". Apparently this is a small town Utah, 70s term that shows I grew up in the back woods, way back when. I personally don't care what my boys think about my vernacular. I do however care if they sluff.
For 2 months now my oldest son has given me numerous reasons every morning why today would be a great day for him not to go to work. He still has 2 days of personal leave for this school year and they have been "burning a hole in his pocket"so to say. I am of the opinion that if he is suppose to be at work and he's not on his death bed or doesn't have 2 broken legs he should be there. Well, yesterday he informed me that today was the day he was not going to work. I pointed out all the reasons he should change his mind, but he didn't. I started thinking about him not going to work and why it bothers me when he doesn't go, but if my hubby were to decide to stay home every now and then I wouldn't be nearly as upset. With him it's more of a he has days off, he may as well use them kind of attitude. Is it because I don't feel as responsible for my husband's choices as I do my son's? After all I didn't raise the husband and teach him better than that. After much pondering I finally decided what the difference was. I have spent too many years in the school workplace, often as the person who had to fill in the holes left by other employees who for whatever reason (good or not so good) weren't there to fill the holes themselves. Now, I'm not saying my husband doesn't have an important job. I'm sure he does. However, if he misses a day of work the majority of his work will just wait to be done tomorrow. In a school setting, this isn't always the case. The kids still show up and still need to be taught and someone has to teach them. Recess and bus and lunchroom duties still need to be done and someone has to do them. When my children who work in education, especially the ones who are classified employees and don't usually get covered by a substitiute, sluff work I worry about who is going to have to pick up the slack. Despite my concerns, I guess my children deserve to use there leave just like anyone else and I should just let them use it and be happy.
With that said, I definitely enjoyed going to the temple with my oldest son today. When he sluffs at least he does something worthwhile with his time. His mother must have taught him something.
For 2 months now my oldest son has given me numerous reasons every morning why today would be a great day for him not to go to work. He still has 2 days of personal leave for this school year and they have been "burning a hole in his pocket"so to say. I am of the opinion that if he is suppose to be at work and he's not on his death bed or doesn't have 2 broken legs he should be there. Well, yesterday he informed me that today was the day he was not going to work. I pointed out all the reasons he should change his mind, but he didn't. I started thinking about him not going to work and why it bothers me when he doesn't go, but if my hubby were to decide to stay home every now and then I wouldn't be nearly as upset. With him it's more of a he has days off, he may as well use them kind of attitude. Is it because I don't feel as responsible for my husband's choices as I do my son's? After all I didn't raise the husband and teach him better than that. After much pondering I finally decided what the difference was. I have spent too many years in the school workplace, often as the person who had to fill in the holes left by other employees who for whatever reason (good or not so good) weren't there to fill the holes themselves. Now, I'm not saying my husband doesn't have an important job. I'm sure he does. However, if he misses a day of work the majority of his work will just wait to be done tomorrow. In a school setting, this isn't always the case. The kids still show up and still need to be taught and someone has to teach them. Recess and bus and lunchroom duties still need to be done and someone has to do them. When my children who work in education, especially the ones who are classified employees and don't usually get covered by a substitiute, sluff work I worry about who is going to have to pick up the slack. Despite my concerns, I guess my children deserve to use there leave just like anyone else and I should just let them use it and be happy.
With that said, I definitely enjoyed going to the temple with my oldest son today. When he sluffs at least he does something worthwhile with his time. His mother must have taught him something.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
One Pink Poppy
This morning the youngest son had to be to school at 6:00 AM to go to his state band festival. I wasn't that excited to be his designated driver, but I am definitely more of a morning person than he is. He prefers that I keep my mouth closed and my comments to myself during our early morning trips to the school, and heaven forbid if I happen to feel like singing along with the CD. His attitude seems to take some of the joy out of my mornings, but it's hard for me to be grumpy when it's actually still cool outside. I love the morning, once I manage to extricate myself from my bed.
When I got back home after I dropped him off I noticed that there was a new flower in my planter. One beautiful pale pink poppy. It made me smile.
I have always loved poppies. Every Spring the side of the road in front of my Grandma's house in Santaquin, Utah would be full of lots and lots of tall orange poppies.
They always looked so happy to me. Every year after they would die my mom would collect some seed pods and try to plant poppies at our house. They never seemed to grow even though they flourished, without any assistance, at Grandma's.
It was a good thing I got up early today. By lunchtime the heat had pretty much destroyed my pretty poppy. Perhaps I'll collect the seed pod and try to plant some more next year. This time I'll try to remember to sow the seeds in the fall and then maybe the flowers will bloom earlier in the season,when it is still under 100 degrees, and last more than 2 or 3 hours. Regardless, this pink poppy was a bright spot in my day.
When I got back home after I dropped him off I noticed that there was a new flower in my planter. One beautiful pale pink poppy. It made me smile.
I have always loved poppies. Every Spring the side of the road in front of my Grandma's house in Santaquin, Utah would be full of lots and lots of tall orange poppies.
They always looked so happy to me. Every year after they would die my mom would collect some seed pods and try to plant poppies at our house. They never seemed to grow even though they flourished, without any assistance, at Grandma's.It was a good thing I got up early today. By lunchtime the heat had pretty much destroyed my pretty poppy. Perhaps I'll collect the seed pod and try to plant some more next year. This time I'll try to remember to sow the seeds in the fall and then maybe the flowers will bloom earlier in the season,when it is still under 100 degrees, and last more than 2 or 3 hours. Regardless, this pink poppy was a bright spot in my day.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My Mother's Daughter
Every once in a while I see my mother in me.
I hear her voice in my head when I bake
and when I sew.
"All it needs now is a bow."
"Everything tastes better with a few nuts."
I see her influence in my finished projects.
Although I have no where near the skill
that she has for making quilts
when it was time to bind our Spring Break Quilt
I couldn't bring myself
to just fold the fabric over and sew it.
"It would look so much cuter with a nice binding."
That's how I ended up folding and sewing
lots of little white, pink and green points
around the edge.
In my defense, I already had most of the squares cut.
I do think it turned out cute.
Now we just have to wait
and see if the baby-to-be is a girl
or if the quilt gets put away again for a while
even though it's finally truly and completely DONE!
Today I am thankful for
sons (one leader, one participant) who happily go to their young men activities.
a daughter who gave her brother a ride home from school for me.
only one 100+ degree day this week.
I hear her voice in my head when I bake
and when I sew.
"All it needs now is a bow."
"Everything tastes better with a few nuts."
I see her influence in my finished projects.
Although I have no where near the skill
that she has for making quilts
when it was time to bind our Spring Break Quilt
I couldn't bring myself
to just fold the fabric over and sew it.
"It would look so much cuter with a nice binding."
That's how I ended up folding and sewing
lots of little white, pink and green points
around the edge.
In my defense, I already had most of the squares cut.
I do think it turned out cute.
Now we just have to wait
and see if the baby-to-be is a girl
or if the quilt gets put away again for a while
even though it's finally truly and completely DONE!
Today I am thankful for
sons (one leader, one participant) who happily go to their young men activities.
a daughter who gave her brother a ride home from school for me.
only one 100+ degree day this week.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Deal
We have a problem in our family with the kind of words we use and the tone of voice we speak with. It has gotten to the point where pretty much at least half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth or my son's mouths seems to be sarcastic, facetious, unkind, impolite, contentious or just plan mean. I have been thinking for a while that we need to do something to change this, but I wasn't really sure how to help us stop. Today while the youngest son and I were waiting for his last (hopefully) visit with the oral surgeon he made a smart remark and I said, "I think you should see if you can go for a whole week without being sarcastic." His response was "What will you give me?" I told him I would kiss him on the forehead. That definitely wasn't going to cut it. "Will you buy me a car?" "Uh, No." "Will you let me get my driver's license?" "Nope." "If I go for a month without being sarcastic will you let me get my license?" I had to think about this one for a minute. First of all, the way things are in our home at the moment I would say the chances of him going for a month without being sarcastic are less than zero. Probably like a negative 50 at least. And that is not being sarcastic. That is the genuine truth. However, I could really enjoy an entire month of honest, polite responses coming out of this son's mouth. I was thinking it might actually be worth it. I wasn't going to give in too easily though so I upped the ante. "If you can go for a month without saying anything sarcastic, rude, or mean to any member of our family I will let you get your license." "This is going to be easy!" He was immediately checking his calendar in his phone to figure out what day of the week April 23rd was and entering a note that he was getting his driver's license on that day.
On the way home we stopped at Circle K so I could buy the son an ICEE in honor of his one year anniversary of giving up soda. He hasn't intentionally drunk any type of carbonated beverage since March 23, 2008. (He was tricked into drinking soda when he partook of the wedding punch at his sister's wedding reception last April before he was informed that one of the main ingredients happened to be 7up.) He went into the store to make his purchase and I waited in the car. When he came out I remarked "You smell like coffee. Have you been drinking coffee?" He quickly retorted, "All day, every day." I looked at him and he whacked himself on the knee. He pulled out his phone and changed his note. "On Friday, April 24 on I going to get my driver's license." Since then he has done quite well and I am thoroughly enjoying this welcome break from his wicked words. Now I just need to work on myself and his brother. Stay tuned to see how this episode of "Let's Make a Deal" turns out.
Today I am thankful for
a visiting teaching companion that makes the appointments.
a son that took out the trash without complaining and even gathered up the palm tree litter left by last night's windstorm without even being asked.
a husband that goes to the grocery store.
the last trip to the oral surgeon (I hope).
On the way home we stopped at Circle K so I could buy the son an ICEE in honor of his one year anniversary of giving up soda. He hasn't intentionally drunk any type of carbonated beverage since March 23, 2008. (He was tricked into drinking soda when he partook of the wedding punch at his sister's wedding reception last April before he was informed that one of the main ingredients happened to be 7up.) He went into the store to make his purchase and I waited in the car. When he came out I remarked "You smell like coffee. Have you been drinking coffee?" He quickly retorted, "All day, every day." I looked at him and he whacked himself on the knee. He pulled out his phone and changed his note. "On Friday, April 24 on I going to get my driver's license." Since then he has done quite well and I am thoroughly enjoying this welcome break from his wicked words. Now I just need to work on myself and his brother. Stay tuned to see how this episode of "Let's Make a Deal" turns out.
Today I am thankful for
a visiting teaching companion that makes the appointments.
a son that took out the trash without complaining and even gathered up the palm tree litter left by last night's windstorm without even being asked.
a husband that goes to the grocery store.
the last trip to the oral surgeon (I hope).
Monday, March 16, 2009
Roadrunner Folklore
A couple of months ago the oldest daughter and the son-in-law were hiking on South Mountain and they saw a roadrunner.
During Second Grade O'odham (Pima)culture class the next week the teacher told the children that in the O'odham culture it is believed that if you see a roadrunner it means that you are going to receive a great blessing or good fortune. The daughter was curious to see what blessing might be coming to them. Tonight they told us what their blessing was.
When they shared their news my hubby said, "I should have known. I saw a baby roadrunner the other day when I was driving back to work."
I was wondering if I should feel bad that I hadn't seen any roadrunners. Maybe I need to get out more. But then again, I don't need to see a roadrunner to know that a new baby is a blessing. Plus, at this point in my life I'd rather be the Grandma than the one expecting so, just to be on the safe side, I'm glad I didn't see the roadrunners. The daughter and her hubby can have the blessing and I'll just enjoy it, spoil it, and send it home.
Today I'm thankful that
I get to be a grandma.
they make dry socket paste. It smells so bad that the girls won't want to come close to the boy for a while.
I got to go to breakfast with my girls who are on Spring Break this week.
During Second Grade O'odham (Pima)culture class the next week the teacher told the children that in the O'odham culture it is believed that if you see a roadrunner it means that you are going to receive a great blessing or good fortune. The daughter was curious to see what blessing might be coming to them. Tonight they told us what their blessing was.When they shared their news my hubby said, "I should have known. I saw a baby roadrunner the other day when I was driving back to work."
I was wondering if I should feel bad that I hadn't seen any roadrunners. Maybe I need to get out more. But then again, I don't need to see a roadrunner to know that a new baby is a blessing. Plus, at this point in my life I'd rather be the Grandma than the one expecting so, just to be on the safe side, I'm glad I didn't see the roadrunners. The daughter and her hubby can have the blessing and I'll just enjoy it, spoil it, and send it home.Today I'm thankful that
I get to be a grandma.
they make dry socket paste. It smells so bad that the girls won't want to come close to the boy for a while.
I got to go to breakfast with my girls who are on Spring Break this week.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Last One
Today my youngest child had his wisdom teeth pulled. He was one of the lucky ones, like his just older sister, who only had 2 wisdom teeth instead of 4. That makes removing them a little easier. At least it seems like it should. The same oral surgeon has taken out all my kids wisdom teeth (plus a few extra from the oldest daughter) and I think he is going to miss us now that we have run out of children to grow new teeth.The son decided to not be sedated for the extractions. Some of my kids were, some weren't. I personally think waking up from surgery and not having a clue what has just happened in your life is a horrible feeling so I would prefer to be awake if possible. Actually, back in the dark ages when I had my wisdom teeth removed sedation wasn't even an option. What I remember most about the experience was that it was very loud and the worst part was that the dentist pulled the 2 teeth on the left and then I had to go back 2 weeks later to have the 2 on the right pulled. I was not at all excited about that 2nd visit and I am glad they do it all at once now.
The boy did use the laughing gas today and that seemed to make the experience more enjoyable (maybe a little too enjoyable since on the way home he was asking me if you could buy nitrous oxide on EBay).
Since this kid has a manly image to uphold, he also insisted that he didn't want to take any painkillers so I didn't bother to get his pain prescription filled ahead of time. His brother had a full bottle that hadn't been touched from his surgery 2 weeks ago that I felt we could use in an emergency. I know it's illegal o.k. I know. Well, as the shots began to wear off and feeling returned the son became more and more irritable. It didn't take long for him to decide to heck with the image. Apparently having your wisdom teeth pulled hurts a lot more than a broken nose. I offered the brother's medicine and was read the riot act. I am surprised that the police were not called immediately and that I escaped being hauled off to jail. What was I thinking??? I drove to the store, filled the prescription, paid my $8.00 and returned home as quickly as possible. The oldest daughter took Percocet when she had her wisdom teeth pulled and she was comatose for 2 days. Unfortunately Percocet didn't have the same effect on my youngest child. He wanted to be asleep, but couldn't seem to figure out how to do it. Everyone was way too loud for his liking and he made sure to let me know about it. Finally I decided to take him for a ride. That use to be how I got him to take a nap every day when he was a baby. I would drive his sister to Kindergarten and then go around the neighborhood until he fell asleep and then we would come home, I would put him in his crib, and he would be out until all his siblings arrived home from school a few hours later. It was rather nice. I was hoping for the same effect tonight. He did drift off while I drove and I found a nice hillside close to our house to park on and enjoyed the full moon, the city lights and watching the planes appear on the horizon, grow larger and then disappear as they landed. It was very peaceful. Eventually I drove home and we dozed in the driveway for a while longer. He woke up a lot less irritable and determined to never take another painkiller in his entire life. Now I have 2 almost untouched bottles of pills in my cupboard. Too bad I'm a law abiding citizen or I could sell them to the highest bidder. I just hate having addictive medicine sitting around my house and there's so much controversy surrounding proper pill disposal anymore that I don't know how to get rid of it. Don't flush it, throw it away, or bury it, that's for sure. Maybe there needs to be a medicine recycling program. Oh, but that would be illegal too. I think it would be nice if you could just return it to the pharmacy and get a refund on the unused portion or a credit toward your next purchase.
Today I am grateful for
no more wisdom teeth.
kids that don't like to take pain killers.
beautiful Spring weather.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Gotta Love Him
There are times when my youngest son and I don't seem to see eye to eye. When we have a difficult time agreeing on what's fair and what isn't. When we do things and say things in the heat of the moment that we regret later. When we might even raise our voices together, and not in song. Sometimes he is just plain annoying, but then sometimes I can be pretty annoying too.
But other times he makes me laugh. I asked the son to come and help me dry the van after I washed it, so it wouldn't get all spotted and this is how he decided to help.
I do love the boy and neither one of us is ever going to tell why the van got washed in the first place.
Today I am thankful for
moments when my kids and I get along.
Angela's bread stick recipe.
dinner as a family.
But other times he makes me laugh. I asked the son to come and help me dry the van after I washed it, so it wouldn't get all spotted and this is how he decided to help.
I do love the boy and neither one of us is ever going to tell why the van got washed in the first place.Today I am thankful for
moments when my kids and I get along.
Angela's bread stick recipe.
dinner as a family.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Milkshakes and Movies
The oldest son had some oral surgery done yesterday. He had 2 spots in his mouth where there were holes in his bone and they had to cut his gum and fill the holes with cadaver bone. He has been spending a lot of time sitting on the couch with an ice pack held to his mouth.
I stocked up on lots of soft food for him to eat during his recovery and he has been using this as a good excuse to consume a few milkshakes as well.
Today he decided to host a Mighty Ducks Movie Marathon. Somehow I was sucked into the excitement of the event and spent most of my day keeping him company. It had been a long time since I had watched one of the Mighty Ducks movies and I can now say I've watched all three of them in about 5 hours. The sacrifices we mothers have to make for our children.
I stocked up on lots of soft food for him to eat during his recovery and he has been using this as a good excuse to consume a few milkshakes as well.
Today he decided to host a Mighty Ducks Movie Marathon. Somehow I was sucked into the excitement of the event and spent most of my day keeping him company. It had been a long time since I had watched one of the Mighty Ducks movies and I can now say I've watched all three of them in about 5 hours. The sacrifices we mothers have to make for our children.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Back Off
We had a ward talent show tonight and it was fun to get to go and enjoy some time with the other members of the ward. The hubby and I went as a two-some since all of our family members had other plans. I like to see our nursery children in settings other than nursery and see how they respond to me. I sat on the floor of the gym and played ball with one of them, and another one enjoyed sitting on my lap and melting ice cubes in his hands all over the two of us. They make me feel loved and important. It is kind of sad though that the nursery group that moved up to Sunbeams in January don't seem to want to be bothered by me any more. I started talking to one of the little boys and he held up his hand in front of him, in a stop sign, and firmly stated, "I'm in primary now." In other words, "Back Off. I've moved on and I don't need you to hold my hand or wipe my nose or dry my tears or build block towers for me to knock down or take me potty anymore. I am bigger now." It took me back for a moment and then it just made me laugh. For the rest of the night, when I would see him, I'd say "Oh, you're in Primary now." and then the two of us would both giggle about it.
Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.
Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
Today I am thankful for
a ward family.
good food that I didn't have to prepare.
a husband who still likes to go places with me.
Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.
Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
Today I am thankful for
a ward family.
good food that I didn't have to prepare.
a husband who still likes to go places with me.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Most Likely Not the Last Time
So, after 2 hours at urgent care,
2 hours getting an x-ray,
2 hours trying to find
an ear, nose and throat specialist
that could fit us into their schedule within a week,
an hour filling out paper work
and then cancelling
the no longer necessary appointment
with the ENT specialist we found
since the urgent care doctor
got an appointment for us
with the specialist he recommended
who apparently was no longer
totally booked for the month,
and 2 hours visiting the ENT specialist
the final decision on the boy's nose is -
Yes, it is fractured in two places.
However, chances are good
that it could very possibly happen again
before this child reaches adulthood.
The recommendation is to do nothing.
Hmm... I'm pretty sure that's what
I suggested the night it happened.
I guess I'm glad to know for sure
that no necessary breathing apparatus
has been damaged
and that I am not just being
a cheap, neglectful mother
intent on ruining my son's chances
of ever finding a wife
due to his hideously deformed nose.
Oh, and the souvenir x-rays seem to show
a good sized brain in this boy's head
so maybe that,
in of its self,
was worth the time, money and effort spent.
Here is the nose before the break.
and here it is after
It does look a little different,
but rugged is a good look for men,
isn't it?
Perhaps if I teach him to smile
he'll still have a chance of finding a wife.
2 hours getting an x-ray,
2 hours trying to find
an ear, nose and throat specialist
that could fit us into their schedule within a week,
an hour filling out paper work
and then cancelling
the no longer necessary appointment
with the ENT specialist we found
since the urgent care doctor
got an appointment for us
with the specialist he recommended
who apparently was no longer
totally booked for the month,
and 2 hours visiting the ENT specialist
the final decision on the boy's nose is -
Yes, it is fractured in two places.
However, chances are good
that it could very possibly happen again
before this child reaches adulthood.
The recommendation is to do nothing.
Hmm... I'm pretty sure that's what
I suggested the night it happened.
I guess I'm glad to know for sure
that no necessary breathing apparatus
has been damaged
and that I am not just being
a cheap, neglectful mother
intent on ruining my son's chances
of ever finding a wife
due to his hideously deformed nose.
Oh, and the souvenir x-rays seem to show
a good sized brain in this boy's head
so maybe that,
in of its self,
was worth the time, money and effort spent.
Here is the nose before the break.
and here it is after
It does look a little different,
but rugged is a good look for men,
isn't it?
Perhaps if I teach him to smile
he'll still have a chance of finding a wife.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Pay Back
So, all you parents out there, have your children ever said something or done something and in the back of your mind you think, "I hope someday you have a child just like you and then you will realize just how I felt today."? I know I have and I would guess a few of you have as well. I am definitely sure my mom felt that way about me on more than one occasion. Take for instance one particular circumstance I have been thinking about for the last couple of days.
My third year at BYU I had a couple of roommates who were from Las Vegas. Well, Thanksgiving was fast approaching and I was invited by these roommates to go to Nevada with them for the holiday. Now, I might not have been as tempted to accept this invitation, except at the same time I found out that my sister and her family were going to be in Las Vegas visiting her husband's brother for Thanksgiving. I was excited to have an adventure, as well as have the opportunity to see my one and only niece, my nephews and my sister and brother-in-law, of course. I informed my mom of my decision and she didn't seem to be nearly as excited as I was. At the time I couldn't really understand why she didn't think it was a wonderful idea. I did go to Vegas and had a lot of fun and enjoyed seeing family and hanging out with friends. It is a Thanksgiving memory that stands out in my mind, probably because it was out of the norm.
Well, this year I am getting pay back from my youngest daughter. She decided that she wanted to go to Snowflake, AZ with her roommate for Thanksgiving rather than spend the holiday with her somewhat routine family. I probably wasn't nearly as excited about the idea as she was (I might have been more excited if she had actually told me). I don't necessarily begrudge her the chance for new adventures, but I will miss having her here with me for the day. As I have gotten older and had my own children, I have come to better understand how my mom probably felt on that long ago November day. It is somewhat bitter sweet to watch my children grow up and begin to prefer someone else's company to my own. I think also, as the years pass, I begin to realize that the "family" holidays, that I have pretty much taken for granted, are going to be fewer and farther between. This year not only is this daughter missing, but the other daughter has gone to Gallup, New Mexico to spend the day with the husband's family there and the oldest son is visiting his fiancee's family dinner before he makes an appearance at his aunt's house for our Thanksgiving. Add to that equation a husband that can't walk without groaning, a head cold that won't go away, and a son who also has a cold and is ready to boycott Thanksgiving this year and I would say that the part of our family attending our "family" festivities has less than a festive attitude.
Does this mean I am not thankful? Not at all! I am so grateful for all of the many blessings which are mine. I am so lucky to have all of my children living close to me (or with me) so that I get to see them all of the time, and not just on special occasions. I am so blessed to get to spend Thanksgiving with my husband's large extended family because that means there will always be lots of food and I only have to cook a little bit of it. I am grateful that in this time of economic termoil that I have enough and to spare. I have wonderful memories of lots and lots of past Thanksgivings spent with family and friends. I have a telephone and the internet so I can communicate with the family members I can't be with today and share my gratitude for them with them. It truly is a very Happy Thanksgiving, even if I don't feel festive.
Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
My third year at BYU I had a couple of roommates who were from Las Vegas. Well, Thanksgiving was fast approaching and I was invited by these roommates to go to Nevada with them for the holiday. Now, I might not have been as tempted to accept this invitation, except at the same time I found out that my sister and her family were going to be in Las Vegas visiting her husband's brother for Thanksgiving. I was excited to have an adventure, as well as have the opportunity to see my one and only niece, my nephews and my sister and brother-in-law, of course. I informed my mom of my decision and she didn't seem to be nearly as excited as I was. At the time I couldn't really understand why she didn't think it was a wonderful idea. I did go to Vegas and had a lot of fun and enjoyed seeing family and hanging out with friends. It is a Thanksgiving memory that stands out in my mind, probably because it was out of the norm.
Well, this year I am getting pay back from my youngest daughter. She decided that she wanted to go to Snowflake, AZ with her roommate for Thanksgiving rather than spend the holiday with her somewhat routine family. I probably wasn't nearly as excited about the idea as she was (I might have been more excited if she had actually told me). I don't necessarily begrudge her the chance for new adventures, but I will miss having her here with me for the day. As I have gotten older and had my own children, I have come to better understand how my mom probably felt on that long ago November day. It is somewhat bitter sweet to watch my children grow up and begin to prefer someone else's company to my own. I think also, as the years pass, I begin to realize that the "family" holidays, that I have pretty much taken for granted, are going to be fewer and farther between. This year not only is this daughter missing, but the other daughter has gone to Gallup, New Mexico to spend the day with the husband's family there and the oldest son is visiting his fiancee's family dinner before he makes an appearance at his aunt's house for our Thanksgiving. Add to that equation a husband that can't walk without groaning, a head cold that won't go away, and a son who also has a cold and is ready to boycott Thanksgiving this year and I would say that the part of our family attending our "family" festivities has less than a festive attitude.
Does this mean I am not thankful? Not at all! I am so grateful for all of the many blessings which are mine. I am so lucky to have all of my children living close to me (or with me) so that I get to see them all of the time, and not just on special occasions. I am so blessed to get to spend Thanksgiving with my husband's large extended family because that means there will always be lots of food and I only have to cook a little bit of it. I am grateful that in this time of economic termoil that I have enough and to spare. I have wonderful memories of lots and lots of past Thanksgivings spent with family and friends. I have a telephone and the internet so I can communicate with the family members I can't be with today and share my gratitude for them with them. It truly is a very Happy Thanksgiving, even if I don't feel festive.
Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
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