So Worth It

At the start of the summer a new sister moved into our ward.  She is youngish and she is vocal and she has been a breath of fresh air in our classroom discussions.  She openly shares the fact that she hasn't always been a practicing member of the church and that she has made some bad decisions in her life, but her past is overshadowed by the testimony she shares at every opportunity. She has come so far. She makes me want to be less judgmental; more loving and willing to embrace and encourage those who are struggling with their testimonies.  She brings hope to my heart when it starts to feel hopeless.

A couple of weeks ago she attended our visiting teaching interviews and then asked for directions to the bishop's house.  She is getting married the start of September and had an appointment to get her temple recommend so she could go to the temple for the first time.  She was so excited!  She shared how she had almost gone to the temple a few years before, but her divorce got in the way and it didn't happen.  How hard it had been to wait, when she wanted to go so badly. When she left she told us she would be back in a while for her interview with a member of the Stake Presidency.

I was in the hall when she returned with tears running down her face. I was worried that something hadn't turned out the way she had planned.  As I walked toward her she raised her signed recommend for me to see and said, "He signed it.  I signed it.  I am going to the temple."  We embraced and joyfully cried together.  So very, very happy.  She couldn't contain her excitement as she bounced around sharing the news with everyone that would listen.

Tonight I had the opportunity of being in attendance at her temple endowment session and as we embraced again in the celestial room we shed a few more happy tears and rejoiced in her accomplishment.  She did it! and it seems that all the struggles just made the final outcome that much sweeter.  She was so happy and thankful to be there.

As I sat in the celestial room, watching her and those who had come to support her, I reflected on some of the things she has experienced in her life, the choices she has made, and  how she was finally able to worthily stand in the temple.  I pondered on why the road to the temple seems so simple for some individuals and so difficult for others. Entering the temple for the first time was pretty easy for me. Luckily my choices had helped to make it that way, but I probably looked on the event as more of a rite of passage than an accomplishment or a privilege, just one more thing I needed to do before I left on my mission.   I was happy to be there, but I think my joy at that moment was minuscule compared to hers, and to the joy I felt for her tonight.

 There were 2 other people going through the temple for the first time tonight.  A young man who looked like he was getting ready to go on a mission and another girl who was soon to be married.  I wondered if they were as amazed and appreciative of this great blessing in their lives as my friend was. Had their choices in life led to a fairly smooth path to the temple or had they too struggled to get there? What had they done and gone through to make this opportunity a reality? Did they see their temple covenants as the marvelous blessing that they are?

As most of the patrons left the celestial room the young man and his father sat talking quietly in one corner while the unknown bride-to-be sat on a couch next to her future husband, her brother and mother nestled by her side as her father stood protectively near them.  It was such a sweet experience as the spirit of the temple sunk deep into my soul.  I hope they felt that spirit too.  I hope they realize what a great blessing it is to be temple worthy.  I hope they continue to visit the temple often and come to appreciate more and more each time they come how truly blessed they are to have the temple, and all it represents, in their lives.

As I have.

Whether the climb to the temple seems fairly simple or wrought with difficulty I testify it is So Worth It!

Do what you need to do to get there and then make it a priority to go often.  It will be worth any effort it takes!

But you don't have to just take my word for it.  Here is what the living prophet, President Thomas S. Monson has to say on this topic:

"Those who understand the eternal blessings which come from the temple know that no sacrifice is too great, no price too heavy, no struggle too difficult in order to receive those blessings."  

This quote comes from a conference talk Pres. Monson gave in April 2011 and you can read his entire message here.

Today I am thankful for

the new converts or re-converted members of my ward who help me see the gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessings that are mine through fresh eyes.  I learn so much from them.
temple promises.
the spirit that I feel in the temple.  Nothing in this world can compare to it.

Mother's Day Eulogy

Whenever I go to a funeral I try to imagine what someone will say about me after I am gone. I sometimes have a hard time believing that any of my kids, or anyone else for that matter, will be able to come up with anything kind to say. A couple of years ago it was proclaimed by one of my children that the musical number at my funeral was going to be "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". However, today I kind of felt like I was Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn hiding in the balcony of the church and listening to my own eulogy when my oldest son spoke in sacrament meeting. He should probably keep track of this talk. It might come in handy some day. I am including it here for his Grandma's benefit (she likes to hear what her grandkids have to say) but you can read it if you want to.

A mother held her new baby
and very slowly
rocked him back and forth,
back and forth,back and forth.
And while she held him,
she sang: (and yes the son sang)
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Of course, I have been asked to speak about mothers on this special day, but more specifically I was asked to speak about my own mom. This may seem like an easy topic, but I have struggled over what to say for a while. Brother Jones told me when he asked me to speak that this talk should make my mother cry. I immediately started thinking of times that I have not followed my mom's counsel and the tragedies that happened as a result, which often made her cry. Then I realized that I am probably supposed to be making her cry tears of joy. So, I have been trying to figure out what it was that I could say to my mother to portray to her the profound effect she has had on my life. Rudyard Kipling once wrote, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers”. I have a firm testimony that this is true. There is nobody on this earth that has influenced my life as much as my mother. I could not ask for a better example. In an article written by Thomas S. Monson, he referenced ten suggestions given to mothers by President Ezra Taft Benson. I would like to analyze these traits and how my mother has accomplished or strives to accomplish each of these things

the first is "Take time to always be at the crossroads in the lives of your children, whether they be six or sixteen." As I think back over the major events in my life, there are always familiar faces in the crowd, including my mothers, but as I think of some of the seemingly more minor events, there is still one face that stands out, that of my mother.

2. "Take time to be a real friend to your children." As hard as it is to believe, there was a time in my life, that I thought my mother's sole purpose in this world was to cause me as much embarrassment as possible, when this happens, especially around friends, you tend to take on a macho attitude of I don’t need you. Even through this phase, my mother never gave up trying to be my friend, trying to find out how she could make my life better. As I have grown older, I have tried harder to reciprocate that friendship, and now I have what I feel is a strong relationship with my mother. Are there still things I don’t want to tell her, sure, there are some things that I don’t want to share. Chalk that one up to human nature. However, I do know that I can tell her anything and she would be there with her unwavering love and support.

3. "Take time to read to your children." Remember what the poet wrote: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be— I had a mother who read to me. The beginning of my talk came from the first story that I can remember my mother reading to me. My children at work have recently discovered this book, and every time they ask me to read it to them I can still hear my mom’s voice,

“That teenager grew.
He grew and he grew and he grew.
He grew until he was a grown-up man.
He left home and got a house across town.
But sometimes on dark nights
the mother got into her car
and drove across town.
If all the lights in her son's house were out,
she opened his bedroom window,
crawled across the floor,
and looked up over the side of his bed.
If that great big man was really asleep
she picked him up
and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

4. "Take time to pray with your children."
This is a tricky one mostly because there are times that children feel there are more important things to do than pray, but parents often intervene and help to teach the importance of prayer. My own mother has shown me by example the importance and power of prayer, and it is a tool that I have grown to love. Although we are older, my mother still strives to ensure that our family gathers to pray each day.

5. "Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening." Make this one of your great family traditions. Now if you asked my mother she may say that this is one of the chinks in her motherly armor. However I would submit that I learned the importance of family home evening somewhere, I feel that it was those nights as a child when we would have a lesson. I remember very vividly some the stories that where shared and the principles that were taught. I remember simply being to spend time with my family, and occasionally use the time to play Don’t Eat Pete. I learned from my mother’s example, why it is important to take time to strengthen the bonds of the family, and as I know contemplate having my own family, I know the importance of Family Home Evening.

6. "Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible." Growing up, it seems that we always ate dinner as a family, and then slowly but surely people got older, Jessica went off to college, our family dwindled, but we still ate with the remainder of our family. Then Janaya moved out, again our family shrunk but we that were left still ate dinner together. Now it seems that our own lives often take us to separate destinations at mealtime, but occasionally I get the joy of eating dinner with my whole family. A family that though once disintegrating now when all together requires extra space at the table, room for a brother-in-law, a fiancée, and an adopted sister, as well of all those family members that once went there own separate ways.

7. "Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family." I don’t know if any of you have had the opportunity to read scriptures with Jayce when he would rather do something else, but I guarantee you that if my mom feels that it is important enough to read scriptures together even after dealing with that, there must be something to it. I am grateful that my mother would take the time to help her family search the scriptures even with such distractions.

8. "Take time to do things together as a family." I can still remember being dragged across this great state to have day trips with my family. There were times when I loved these trips, and times that I hated them. Looking back now, I see that they were simply a way of strengthening our family. A family that I am constantly grateful for, that has a strong adhesive in large part due to our mother. I can guarantee that nobody else in our family would have ensured that these trips were taken with all the complaining the occasionally accompanied them.

9. "Take time to teach your children." My mom writes a blog, and it is by far one of the better blogs I have an opportunity to read. One day as I was perusing, I noticed an entry that I will now share, it was titled back off. We had a ward talent show tonight and it was fun to get to go and enjoy some time with the other members of the ward. The hubby and I went as a two-some since all of our family members had other plans. I like to see our nursery children in settings other than nursery and see how they respond to me. I sat on the floor of the gym and played ball with one of them, and another one enjoyed sitting on my lap and melting ice cubes in his hands all over the two of us. They make me feel loved and important. It is kind of sad though that the nursery group that moved up to Sunbeams in January don't seem to want to be bothered by me any more. I started talking to one of the little boys and he held up his hand in front of him, in a stop sign, and firmly stated, "I'm in primary now." In other words, "Back Off. I've moved on and I don't need you to hold my hand or wipe my nose or dry my tears or build block towers for me to knock down or take me potty anymore. I am bigger now." It took me back for a moment and then it just made me laugh. For the rest of the night, when I would see him, I'd say "Oh, you're in Primary now." and then the two of us would both giggle about it.Backing Off is something that I have a very difficult time with. Just ask my husband and my kids. It is hard for me to see my own children, as they grow up, raising their hands signifying stop every now and then. So many of their words and actions and gestures seem to say "I'm bigger now and I don't need you". It always takes me back for a moment and their unintentional snubs are harder to laugh off than those of the nursery kids. It is kind of funny when you think about it. This is what we work for all of our children's growing up years. To raise responsible, independent, self-assured children who are capable of taking care of themselves. Who don't need their mommy to hold their hand or wipe there nose... When they are moving forward in this endeavor I should applaud and pat myself on the back not feel sad. And yet, there is something about not being needed that is a little unnerving. I do want my children to grow up. I do want them to be independent and self-assured and responsible. I do want them to have their own lives and their own friends and their own families and their own homes and their own dreams, but every once in a while I want them to remember that they still need me, even if it is only to wipe their tears when someone knocks their tower down or to share their joy when they get it to stand up tall and steady.Message to my children - I love you. I am learning to let go, but sometimes it is hard. Please be patient with me.
This is the comment that I shared after reading this blog, Please remember that all those unintentional snubs are really just pats on the back saying what a great mother you are. It is because of you that we are able to build our own towers, and find joy in the building of those towers. Also remember that the foundation of those towers is in your home, reinforced with your love, and should those towers happen to fall, the foundation will remain. That is what you have given us:) Through the teachings of my mother, I have become, the man I am today and I am sure that many of you can tell she didn’t do too shabby a job. I am not perfect, but I am far closer than I would be without her.

10. "Take time to truly love your children." A mother’s unqualified love approaches Christlike love. I know this to be true, there are so many times that I have made my mother’s life her own personal prison, regardless of my stupid choices, decisions that sometimes result in damage such as a hole in the wall, my mother shows over and over her love for me. Only my mother could take a hole in the wall, and turn it into a beautiful teaching opportunity.
President Hinckley shared this advice to mothers, “I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances.” I want my mother to know how much she means to me. There are so many blessings in my life that stem directly from her being a part of it. I echo the sentiments of Abraham Lincoln who said, “All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.”
I’d like to close with another portion of the book I began with.

Well, that mother, she got older.
She got older and older and older.
One day she called up her son and said,
"You'd better come see me
because I'm very old and sick."
So her son came to see her.
When he came in the door
she tried to sing the song.
She sang: I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish
because she was too old and sick.
The son went to his mother.
He picked her up
and rocked her back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

And yes I cried, just like it was a funeral, but I'm glad he said those nice things while I was still here to hear them.

P.S. If you are not familiar with the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch you need to read it. It is one of my favorite children's books and, in my opinion, every family should have a copy of it.

One Pink Poppy

This morning the youngest son had to be to school at 6:00 AM to go to his state band festival. I wasn't that excited to be his designated driver, but I am definitely more of a morning person than he is. He prefers that I keep my mouth closed and my comments to myself during our early morning trips to the school, and heaven forbid if I happen to feel like singing along with the CD. His attitude seems to take some of the joy out of my mornings, but it's hard for me to be grumpy when it's actually still cool outside. I love the morning, once I manage to extricate myself from my bed.

When I got back home after I dropped him off I noticed that there was a new flower in my planter. One beautiful pale pink poppy. It made me smile.

I have always loved poppies. Every Spring the side of the road in front of my Grandma's house in Santaquin, Utah would be full of lots and lots of tall orange poppies.

They always looked so happy to me. Every year after they would die my mom would collect some seed pods and try to plant poppies at our house. They never seemed to grow even though they flourished, without any assistance, at Grandma's.

It was a good thing I got up early today. By lunchtime the heat had pretty much destroyed my pretty poppy. Perhaps I'll collect the seed pod and try to plant some more next year. This time I'll try to remember to sow the seeds in the fall and then maybe the flowers will bloom earlier in the season,when it is still under 100 degrees, and last more than 2 or 3 hours. Regardless, this pink poppy was a bright spot in my day.

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

Susan Boyle.

You can watch her here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Need I say more?

And yes, I cry every time I watch it.

Baptism

Tonight the sons, my youngest daughter and I attended the baptism of one of our friends. This young man started out as a friend with my youngest son when they were in middle school together. He enjoys playing basketball and he and my son connected on the basketball court. The son and I also enjoyed sitting in the stands with his dad and his uncle watching him play on the middle school basketball team. Then he started playing on the church basketball team (Deacon) that my older son coached several years ago. He has continued to play church ball each year and played on the team the youngest son was on recently.

He is #14 in this picture. (Unfortunately I didn't take my camera with me to the baptism.) He lives in the ward that we share our building with and he has attended many of their Wednesday night activities over the years and became close friends with many of the boys in that ward, especially one young man, who was also his neighbor and whose family have always welcomed him into their home.
Not too long ago the boy who was baptized tonight lost his dad unexpectedly. His mom has never been a part of his life, at least not for as long as we have known him. After his father's death he ended up moving in with his much older brother, but that ended up being a less than positive situation and a change needed to be made. The neighbor family invited him to live with them just after the start of the year. Since then he has attended church every Sunday and recently decided he wanted to take the missionary discussions and things progressed from there.
Whenever someone I know decides to be baptized I stop and ponder what kind of an impact I personally had on this decision. Did my interactions with this person give him a desire to know more about the gospel or did he decide to join the church in spite of my example? I think it's good to have opportunities where we really stop and think about the influence we can have in other people's lives and the difference we can make. We really never know who is watching us.
In this situation I don't really believe that anything my children or I did made a huge difference in how things transpired. Perhaps we were all cast in the supporting roles in this life story, not as one of the main characters. I am happy to say though that I can't think of too many moments when our choices might have actually stood in his way of joining the church, except perhaps those few times when my youngest son or I got a little too emotionally involved in the drama of an exciting basketball game. Could we have done better? Most definitely. Are we glad we did what we did? You better believe it.
This young man is such a great kid, who has faced a lot of challenges in his life. It was a very sweet experience to see him enter the waters of baptism this evening, surrounded by his new church family. I love baptisms and the spirit I felt during this one tonight.

Tonight I am thankful for

the Holy Ghost.
individuals who open their hearts and their homes to others.
my oldest daughter who rescued her father when his car died on the way home from work and none of the rest of us would answer our cell phones because we were at the baptism

Español

Tonight I had the opportunity of going to the temple to see one of my youngest daughter's good friends receive her own endowments. This young woman will soon be known as Sister Zarate and will be serving in the Salt Lake City Temple Square Mission for 18 months.

We are all excited for her. Some other members of the family would have gone to the temple with her as well, but it just so happened that tonight was also the beginning of the church young men's basketball tournament and the youngest son's team, which is coached by the oldest son, had a game at the same time. It was hard for many of us to decide where we wanted to be the most. I finally decided that since the tournament is double elimination and the team was only playing one game tonight that I would have another opportunity to watch them participate and so I chose the temple. I was glad that I did. (The son's team lost and listening to the recap, I think I was lucky that I wasn't there to experience it.)
Since English is this sister's second language she chose to go to a Spanish speaking endowment session. My family and I had discussed ahead of time whether or not I thought I could follow what was going on if I had to do it only in Spanish. Pondering this question reminded me of a trip I took to a Denver Albertsons grocery store a couple of years ago. I was getting ready to check out when I received a phone call from my oldest daughter informing me that she had just been offered a job teaching Kindergarten at Fuller Elementary School. This was her first teaching job, school started in a week and we were both very excited. After I hung up I went to the self check out to purchase my groceries. I was still a little distracted and accidentally pushed the Spanish button instead of the English one. I tried to go back and choose English but couldn't figure it out. I decided I could check out in Spanish. I know a little Spanish and I use the self check out all the time, I could probably do it with my eyes closed so I thought a foreign language would be no problem. Scan the item, drop it in the bag. Pretty much the same in any language. I was rolling right along until I got to the produce. Even though I didn't know what a cantaloupe was called in Spanish I scrolled through the pictures and managed to find one that matched my item. Success! Then came the green pepper. I found the picture, entered the code but then the number keyboard popped up again. I thought the code hadn't gone through so I entered it again. I figured out what it was actually asking for about the same time I pushed the enter button. I was suppose to enter the quantity. Instead of one green pepper, or whatever it is called in Spanish, I said I was buying 4035 or some other ridiculous number. My grocery tab was immediately over $2000. That was when I finally decided to call for help. The employee was very confused about why I was checking out in Spanish, when I obviously was speaking English. Luckily for me he stood right next to me for the rest of the transaction. I think I needed his assistance at least 3 more times before I was done and thoroughly embarrassed.
So, as I thought about the temple ceremony, my first thought was that perhaps I could manage most parts, I mean I've heard it all a number of times. However, I quickly reconsidered.
The temple was very accommodating and supplied headsets for all of us who couldn't understand Español. I enjoyed hearing English in one ear while I tried to figure out what they were saying in Spanish with the other. I could actually understand a few things. However, I did find it somewhat disconcerting having Satan whispering directly into my ear at times. He seemed a lot more menacing when he was piped right into my head. Kind of like the devil sitting on my shoulder feeling.
I love being in the celestial room with someone who is there for the first time. My sweet friend was so happy to be there and I was equally happy to be there with her. It was such a wonderful moment. Lots of Love to you Sister Zarate. You're moving in the right direction and I wish you the best in life.

Today I am grateful for

hugs.
modern technology.
the temple - in any language.

Roadrunner Folklore

A couple of months ago the oldest daughter and the son-in-law were hiking on South Mountain and they saw a roadrunner.

During Second Grade O'odham (Pima)culture class the next week the teacher told the children that in the O'odham culture it is believed that if you see a roadrunner it means that you are going to receive a great blessing or good fortune. The daughter was curious to see what blessing might be coming to them. Tonight they told us what their blessing was.
When they shared their news my hubby said, "I should have known. I saw a baby roadrunner the other day when I was driving back to work."

I was wondering if I should feel bad that I hadn't seen any roadrunners. Maybe I need to get out more. But then again, I don't need to see a roadrunner to know that a new baby is a blessing. Plus, at this point in my life I'd rather be the Grandma than the one expecting so, just to be on the safe side, I'm glad I didn't see the roadrunners. The daughter and her hubby can have the blessing and I'll just enjoy it, spoil it, and send it home.

Today I'm thankful that

I get to be a grandma.
they make dry socket paste. It smells so bad that the girls won't want to come close to the boy for a while.
I got to go to breakfast with my girls who are on Spring Break this week.