Duct Tape - The Proud Sponsor of Today's Laugh

Today's laugh - Tonight I was sitting on the couch in the family room when the air came on.  There is a rattle in the duct right there and our air seems to not be working as well as it should (might have something to do with the fact that it was our first 110 degree day of the season today). Anyway, I began wondering if there was an easy way to check the ducts and see if they had a leak. I envisioned the youngest son crawling  through the attic checking out the ducts and thought, "Can you tape ducts and what kind of tape do you think you would use?'

I had to laugh when the word "duct tape" eventually popped into my head.

Duh. I wonder if that was what duct tape was originally invented for* way back before we decided to use it to make wallets and neckties and prom suits and scripture bags?

Hey!  Maybe that's why it was first only available in  silver - to match the ducts.  That makes so much sense to me now.

*So, if you know anything about me, you know that I had to research this and figure out who invented duct tape and why.

What is your guess?

You can find a more detailed answer here  or here, but the short answer is that duct tape was invented in 1942 by the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division.   It was originally unnamed, but was frequently called duck tape because it was waterproof and make from cotton duck.  It was first used by the military to keep moisture out of the ammunition cases and its original color was not silver, but army green. From the very beginning the versatility of this tape has been appreciated and military personnel used it to fix just about everything including guns, jeeps and aircraft.  Perhaps we owe the successful end of World War II to duck tape and not to the atomic bomb.

After the war there was a major housing boom and a new use for the tape emerged. The name was changed to duct tape and the color changed to silver so it would match the heating duct work that it was used to connect.

Today I am grateful for

a son who motivated me to work on cleaning my dining room today.  He is really good at clapping his hands and saying, "Good Job!"

the ability to let go of some unnecessary items that have been living in boxes in my dining room for way too long,  Notice I said some, not all.  This is still definitely a work in progress, but I am getting better.

sloppy joes - they tasted really good to me tonight and they made me think of my sister whom I am also very thankful for.

Distracted

So today is a new year with a clean slate to fill.

 I have been thinking of some great resolutions.

 Some positive changes I want to commit to.

 But, for some reason, the leftover Christmas goodies are still proving to be a big distraction.

 My focus isn't really where it should be.

 I think Ormie and I could be soul sisters right now.

    

Bet you can't guess what I need to work on this year.

Hope 2013 is going well for you so far.

Today I am thankful for

leftover potatoes that made making dinner quick.

the hope and excitement that comes with a new year.

Dropbox - it makes sharing photos with the oldest daughter a fairly easy experience.

Heavy, Heavy Hangover

Don't be worried.

This isn't a blog about how I have given in to the stresses of life and decided to take up drinking. This is just a momentary step back into my more carefree childhood.

Tonight the youngest son, the hubby and I were gathered around the dinner table and for some reason (I'm sure it was something someone said, but I can't remember what ) I began to recite a familiar rhyme from the birthday parties of my youth.

Heavy, heavy hangover
thy poor head.
What do you wish this person
with a bump on the head.

The son immediately questioned my sanity and when I looked to the hubby for support or some sign of understanding, he just looked back at me with a totally blank stare.  No help there.

I know I am not the only person who has experienced this tradition in their lifetime.  In fact I'm positive since  I wasn't the only guest at the afore mentioned birthday parties, but apparently this is not the common childhood memory that I thought it to be.

I remember this activity done in two different, but similar ways. At gift opening time someone, usually the special guest's mother, would stand behind the birthday boy or girl, select a present and while holding it over the child's head would repeat the rhyme adding a gentle tap on the head with the gift as the word "bump" was spoken. The recipient would then wish the gift giver, which  up to this point was a mystery, a gift as well.  This was usually something totally out of the realm of possibility such as a million dollars, or a swimming pool or a trip to Africa and then the giver would respond with great enthusiasm, thus identifying him or herself to the birthday child.

My other memory is the same except the rhyme reciter was the gift giver himself and the bump on the head was usually a very energetic thwap!

I explained all of this to the men at the table and they continued to act like I was more than a little bit strange.

Of course, after dinner was over, I had to do a little internet research in an attempt to discover the origins of this tradition and to determine if it was really as rare of a ritual as they seemed to think.

I didn't find too much to report.

I did derive that it may come from an ancient childhood game.  That it was practiced most frequently in small town Utah, by Mormons, and is actually referred to in the book "Mama Married a Mormon", but it has been played as far away as Iran. Also, the poem sometimes differs from the one of my memory to be "heavy, heavy hangs over" or "my forehead".

But, the best insight I found, and the one I enjoyed the most, was discovered on a website from the United Kingdom called the phrase finder.  In a response by Dr. Jones to a question asked by R regarding this topic he stated:

"I believe the custom died out in affluent countries when the size and weight of gifts increased and the custom was found to cause unacceptable collateral damage to the upcoming generation of gift recipients.  It did, however, have a Darwinian purpose in prehistoric times, when clubs and similar weapons were handed out as gifts and the thin skulls of the weakest were crushed whilst the thick headed survived to perpetuate the custom: some of these survivors are with us to this very day."

Apparently the reason so few individuals have memory of playing this game as a child, is that many who participated in this activity failed to reach adulthood unscathed.

Another reason to be grateful that I grew up a thick headed Mormon.

Today I am grateful for

the sacrament. Due to Stake Conferences and staying with the grandson last Sunday it had been almost a month since I had the opportunity to participate in this sacred ordinance and I have missed it.

my ward family. I have felt the love and prayers of the "family I attend church with each Sunday" so strongly during the past couple of weeks and it was great to get to meet with them again today.

ham and cheesy potatoes.

A Singing Get Well Card

Today Shad got a get well card from my sister.  This sister is really good at sending awesome cards and  her birthday card for Shad's 2nd birthday was a hit as you can see in this photo.

The card sang the Woody song - "You've got a friend in me" and it sang it's heart out until it died. Since his first singing card made such an obvious impression, he has received a few more cards that sing.

Shad opened the get well card today and let his uncle read part of it to him, but then he needed to hold it in his hand and refused to let anyone else hold it, look at it, or finish reading it.  As he examined it for a while, all of the sudden he announced, "Hey, it doesn't sing!"  He opened it and closed it and opened it and closed it and then looked at me with disappointment.

Well what Grandma can let her sick grandson be disappointed?  As he slowly opened it one more time I sang a truly inspiring, rousing and creative "Get well, little buddy, get well."

He closed it and opened it again, "Get well, little buddy, get well.  Get well, little buddy, get well. Get well." and closed it.

This continued for a while with a variety of renditions of the same words.  Our favorite being the staccato, one syllable at a time, version as he quickly opened and closed the card repeatedly.

Some of my family members may think I have been held hostage in a hospital room for too long and lost what good sense I still had, but I say if I can get a belly laugh and spontaneous giggles, I'll gladly embarrass myself again and again.

That get well card worked wonders and I definitely felt better.

Today I am thankful

that Shad was the only patient in the PICU.  Not only does he get lots of personal attention from the nurses, but that means that there isn't another mother or grandmother sitting next door with her heart in her throat worrying what the day will bring.

for all the people in our lives who think of ways to brighten our days.

that the son-in-law and oldest daughter were able to get out and go shopping for a little while today and that they let the youngest son tag along.  We had a quiet, peaceful afternoon in our cozy little room and I think they enjoyed the outing.

Anyone Have an Ambulance for Sale Cheap?

Tonight the son-in-law and the youngest son were going to go to the store to look for a shirt for Shad to wear under his brace.  Just before they walked out the door they asked, "Does anyone else want to come?'

Shad quickly piped up, "No thank you."

His dad replied, "Good, because I don't think they would let you leave."

"Yeah they would.  You could push me in my bed."

I then stated the obvious, "But your bed wouldn't fit in Mommy's car."

Without pause Shad returned with "It will fit in the ambulance."

Daddy reminded him that we don't have an ambulance, just little cars.

"Oh, you can buy one." was Shad's solution.

Daddy checked his pockets and came up with $3.00.

Does anyone know where we can buy an ambulance for $3.00?  Apparently we need one.

The nurse suggested we try Craigslist.

Today I am thankful for

a cheerful boy.  One of the nurses referred to him today as "a little ray of sunshine"  and he usually is just that.  He does cry and get stressed and scared, but over-all he is still his happy little self.

nice nurses.  Shad is becoming an expert at taking temperatures, listening to heart beats and taping up owies on giraffe and the nurses frequently let him have free rein with their equipment and supplies.  (Next time you worry about where your tax dollars are going, picture them making a sick little boy laugh as he shoots his grandpa across the room with a thermometer cover "bullet".  It might make your sacrifice more palatable.)

a chance for Shad to get outside for the first time in a week, even though the experience was a little overwhelming for all of us.

On a Lighter Note

This evening we were all sitting in Shad's room doing our own thing when one of the hospital chaplains came to visit.

He talked for a few minutes and then asked, "Are you Christians?' and turned to the son-in-law for a response.

The son-in-law slowly replied, "Not ... really", and then went on to say something that I wasn't really listening to.

I was too busy thinking, "Wait, my son-in-law doesn't think we are Christians?  Hadn't he read all the articles on this topic?  Didn't he serve a mission?  Doesn't he listen to General Conference?..."

and then in a matter of seconds I understood what the son-in-law had heard and responded too.

Every doctor's visit, and there are A LOT of them, ends with the question,  "Do you have any questions?"

That is what the son-in-law had heard and "not ,,, really."  He didn't have any questions.

While the chaplain stood, with obvious concern, trying to decipher the son-in-law's response and determine where to go from there, I think I might have burst into laughter.

(I blame it on being cooped up in a hospital all day under a great deal of stress. I have no idea how the oldest daughter and the son-in-law do it so well day in and day out. It felt good to chuckle, so good that I was still laughing about it an hour later much to the son-in-law's consternation.)

We quickly cleared up the misunderstanding, declared that, yes indeed we are Christian, and then appreciated the prayer that the chaplain offered in Shad and his family's behalf.

ALL of the prayers that are being offered, by so many people of so many faiths, are felt and appreciated   by us.  They are what make it possible for us to laugh even in these difficult times

and laughing is good.

Today I am grateful for

laughter.

some of the "best possible news" we could hope for.

the opportunity to be here with Shad and his parents, along with the hubby and the youngest son.

conference talks. So glad that my November Ensign arrived as we were pulling out of the driveway to come to California yesterday.

For an update on Shad and the good news we got today go to the daughter's blog post here.

A Happy Hmm...

On our way to California today we kept passing the same semi with this loaded on the back.

Every single time I saw it, it made me smile
and smiling felt good.
I'm sure you can figure out what it looks like.
I wonder what it really is?

P.S. The youngest son thinks I'm weird.

The Blogging Dilemma

Tonight it was brought to my attention

that my blog post production rate

has dropped drastically during the past 2 years.

• ► 2011 (42)

• ► 2010 (49)

• ► 2009 (180)

• ► 2008 (222)

Hmm. I hadn't realized that.

I better pick up the pace.

Actually, I decided recently

that I wanted to be a better blogger.

As soon as I decided that

something happened to the program

I use to upload pictures to my computer

and well,

what's the point of blogging

if there aren't any pictures

for my children who aren't into reading.

Due to my lack of photos -

Wait,

I am not lacking in photos.

In fact I have so many pictures on my computer

that I have no memory left

and my computer is slower than slow

and my husband tells me daily

that I need to move ALL my photos to the external hard drive.

But, I love my pictures

and I don't want them out of my sight

even for a minute.

Then while I am rambling on

about why it is so difficult for me

to produce a blog post

I push a wrong button and

the incomplete post publishes

and makes absolutely no sense.

Now do you understand

why my post numbers are down?

No?

Neither do I.

For those of you who

have hung on through

this entire nonsense -

I give you a story

for your enjoyment

which will include

a previously uploaded picture.

It is called

"The Blue Poinsettia"

When we had our ward Christmas party

each table had a blue poinsettia

as the centerpiece.

When the party was over,

the flowers were passed out to families

and one came home with me.

I put mine on top of the piano,

but the cats kept trying to eat it.

I have heard that poinsettias are poisonous

so I didn't think that was a good idea.

I tried really hard to keep them away from it

and they tried really hard to eat it.

When we left to go to California for Christmas

I put the plant out on the stool on my front porch

so the cats couldn't have a feast.

I told the oldest son

(who was watching our house and the cats)

that he could take it home with him

if he wanted it.

Apparently he didn't want it,

because it was still sitting on the stool

when we came home a week later.

It looked quite sad and forgotten-

very shriveled and unhealthy.

I felt the soil that it was in

and it was plenty wet

so I decided to just leave it there

and see what happened.

Fast forward another day -

both sons and I are walking into the house.

The oldest son says,

"I think your flower froze

one of the nights that you were gone.

It looked fine one day and

the next day it looked - pfft. "

The youngest son looked at the plant,

and then he looked again and said,

" Wait! You mean it wasn't always blue? "

For those of you
who care about things like poinsettias.

The weather here has warmed up
A LOT
and the poor thing is doing much better.

However, it is still mostly blue.

Potty Humor

I woke up early this morning
long before it was light
with a need to visit the bathroom.
When I got back in bed
sleep had escaped me
so I just lay there thinking.
For some reason
a riddle from my childhood came into my mind.

If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom
and you're American when you come out.
What are you while you're in the bathroom?

European, of course.

Then I started really thinking about this.
The Russian makes sense because
I am often in a hurry to get to the restroom.
The European also works,
but the American just doesn't fit.
There must have been something else there
instead of American.
I thought and thought and thought
but I couldn't seem to come up
with a nationality that fit.
It really, really bothered me.

This riddle was the first thing out of my mouth
to my oldest son this morning,
with a blank in the 2nd line.
He filled the blank in with American as well
until I told him that it just didn't work.

He thought for a minute and said,
"when you come out you're Finnish".
I don't know if that is the correct word,
but I like it a lot better than American
so I'm keeping it and moving on to
think about something else now.

I knew there was a reason I keep this son around.
Thanks for helping me out son!

A Trip to the Car Repair Shop

I was a nice wife and let my husband use my van while the oldest daughter and I were in Utah this past week (she was a nice daughter and drove her car on the road trip). Sometime while the van was in the hubby's possession the red plastic cover on the right brake light fell off. That's apparently what happens when the temperature is consistently over 110 degrees. The glue it's stuck on with just dries up and stops working. Well, the hubby made some phone calls and our nice mechanic found a replacement for us. You can't just replace the cover, you have to replace the entire brake light unit, so today I drove to Phoenix to the car repair shop to get it fixed. When I got there he asked me to back the van into an small empty space between 2 other cars. I am not the world's greatest backer-uper and I especially don't like to back up with an audience, but I finally managed to get the van in the spot. I sat in the car while he worked on it, since it was a "quick" job and I almost melted, but not quite. When he was finished tinkering,he had me step on the brakes a few times, flip the turn signal off and on (which worked better after I turned the car on), turn on the hazard lights (which he had to come and locate for me), and put the car in reverse. After watching how well I handled the other jobs, I'm surprised he was willing to stand behind me while I put the car in reverse, but he was brave and I didn't run over him. Everything was working well and I wrote him a check and drove away. I decided while I was in the neighborhood I was going to look for a store that use to be close by so I drove around a few corners and then around the same corners again. I found the store, but it was no longer in operation. About this time I realized that the right turn signal sounded like it was running a race when I flipped it on. I have learned, from experience, that this is the sound it makes when it is not functioning properly. I debated for a while if I should just go home or go back to the shop, but I didn't want to drive back to Phoenix again tomorrow so I returned to the shop. First though, I did pull over, turn the signal on and get out and check if it was working. It wasn't. I wondered if the brake light was out as well, but I couldn't figure out a way to check it by myself. I got back to the shop and we went through the check list again - brakes, turn signals, flasher, reverse. Nothing was working. The repairman wiggled some things and pulled on some things and pushed on some things and replaced some bulbs and then we went through the checklist once more - I was finally getting the hang of this. Everything appeared to be working again, and so I left. As I was rolling up the windows and driving away from the shop my oldest daughter called me on my cell phone. As I started talking to her my air conditioner started making this high pitched whistling noise. It was loud enough that the daughter asked me what that noise was. We discussed that it was the AC and she suggested that I turn around and go back to the shop to get it checked out. By now I had turned onto the main road and was stuck in a major traffic jam where all the lanes merged into one. I turned the air conditioner off and turned it back on and the noise stopped. We talked for a few minutes while I crawled along the road and then she hung up. After I got past the construction and sped up the AC started whistling again - LOUD. I was trying to figure out why it only made the noise sometimes when it occurred to me that the sound it was making was quite similar to the sound the window makes when it's not rolled up all the way. I pushed the window control buttons and sure enough the passenger window was down a little bit and that was what was causing the noise. I called the daughter back and told her not to worry about the AC. It was fixed. We both had a good laugh at how dumb I am sometimes. I'm glad I didn't go back to the repair shop and ask for help. I'm pretty sure the mechanic already thinks I'm pretty clueless.

Today I am thankful that

my visiting teaching companion almost always sets up our appointments.
the turn signal stopped working while I was still close to the repair shop.
I have faith in an after-life and that I'm not in a hurry to find out for sure.

One year ago today - Royalty?

Playing Favorites

Today I had a short chat with my youngest son's school counselor (and yes, dear child, it is perfectly legal for me to have a conversation with your counselor. I asked her just to make sure.). Along with other things we discussed, she asked me why he wasn't too fond of one of his teachers (I had mentioned this fact in a previous conversation). I told her I wasn't really sure of his reasons. It seems like they change frequently depending on his mood and his favorite word for the day. He really isn't fond of too many people in the world and even fewer teachers. (The reason he doesn't care for this counselor is because she once said to him "You must be smart." Go figure.) Anyway, she responded with an "Oh yes, I forgot, he's a teenager." I guess I should take comfort in knowing that my son isn't the only "hater" in Tempe and yet it doesn't give me much comfort.
On the way home from school I decided to ask for his answer to this question. He made a couple of derogatory comments and then added "and he plays favorites." I asked the son how he thought these students became the teacher's favorites and he expounded their virtues. "They do what he asks. They help him. They do extra stuff. They are overachievers..." I then told him they would probably be my favorites too. I mean yes, it is probably wrong for teachers, or parents, or employers to have favorites, but get real. If you are nice to me and do what you are suppose to do and even a few extra things that I don't expect now and then, then chances are I am going to like you. You might even be my favorite. That's just human nature.
I thought it was interesting as I was blog hopping tonight that I ran into this blog post entitled Favorites. Now, I have absolutely no idea who this blogger is. (It's amazing the places you end up when you keep clicking on links). However, I loved what he had to say and how he said it. I thought it would be good reference material for the son if he ever decides he wants to become some one's favorite, besides his mom's of course. (Oh, but don't tell his siblings I said that. They each think they are my favorite). Check out the Favorites post and see what you think. Pretty good and honest advice in my opinion.

Today I am thankful for

fresh cherries for 88 cents a pound.
a "quilting bee" with a few of my Relief Society Sisters.
zucchini and scrambled eggs.

Cadbury Creme Eggs

While serving my mission in England I discovered the delectable delicacy - the Cadbury Creme Egg. I fell in love at first bite. I remember when the Easter season ended and I realized I would be in Utah when it was Easter again - Utah where they didn't sell Cadbury anything - I was very sad. I paid 13 pence apiece (why do I vividly remember this random detail) and purchased a few after Easter leftover eggs, hid them on the top shelf of my wardrobe and vowed I would take them home and enjoy them next Easter. Needless to say, I didn't have to worry about packing them when June rolled around and I returned to the states.

It was a happy day for me when one Easter, there on the store shelves in Utah (or was it Arizona by then?), I once again discovered Cadbury Creme Eggs. Even though American Cadbury Creme Eggs taste different than English Cadbury Creme Eggs, each year I have to buy at least one for old time sake, usually at the after Easter sales because I'm too cheap to pay full price. Today I bought my 2009 Cadbury Creme Egg, but I'm hoarding it away for a special occasion or a desperate moment when I need a sickeningly sweet chocolate fix.

I hadn't really looked at my egg closely when I watched this video on someone else's blog. I looked at my egg again. Yes, it is smaller, but then perhaps I have just gotten bigger. I don't know why I find this so entertaining, but I do.

To Drive Thru or Not to Drive Thru

I was very excited to receive a refund check from the oral surgeon in the mail a couple of days ago. Apparently if you get a dry socket they feel bad for you and give you some of your money back. Actually, the insurance paid a lot more than they had predicted it would and so we got two thirds of our payment returned. Hooray! It was a pretty fair amount of money, which the youngest son insisted should be signed over to him since he was the one who suffered the pain. Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for us, the check was made out to his father and therefore the money went back into our checking account.
This morning I took the check to the bank to deposit it. I considered whether I should get out of the car and take it inside or just do it at the drive thru ATM. I think it is pretty cool now when you deposit a check in the ATM you put your card in and then you just slide the check into the machine and it prints you out a pretty little picture of the check and credits your account. It's super easy. However, this morning I decided that the good Lord blessed me with two legs so I could walk into the bank and not just sit on my backside. I filled out the deposit slip, walked in and got in line. There were about 4 people ahead of me. Quickly the roving employee approached me and asked what had brought me in to the bank today. I wanted to say the two legs that the good Lord blessed me with, but I refrained. Remember we are working on our sarcasm in our household at the moment. Anyway, I told her I was making a deposit and she invited me to the front counter to assist me. While she was helping me she asked, "Have you ever used the drive thru ATM to deposit a check"? I replied, "Yes." "It's so much quicker for you, and so easy. I don't know why everyone doesn't do it." Here I had made the "better" choice to actually get out of my car and walk inside and I felt I was being reprimanded. I responded with "but then I wouldn't have gotten to see your happy, smiling face." I'm not sure she was looking that happy after my remark. I guess next time I need to make a deposit I'll probably just drive thru.
On the way home I decided to stop at McDonalds and buy me a McDouble for lunch. Now, I do have legs, but I pretty much always choose to use fast food drive thrus. Going inside is a hassle. I ordered my hamburger, plain of course since that is the way I like it. I got to the second window, gave the employee my money and waited and waited and waited. Finally the employee tried to give me a drink, but I hadn't ordered a drink. I told her what I was waiting for and she looked in about four bags, decided on one and handed it to me. As I was driving away I decided to double check that she had actually given me what I ordered. It was indeed a McDouble, but not plain. I parked my car and went inside. I waited in the line where a gentleman was taking orders. Finally a woman came to a different register and asked if she could help me. I told her I had ordered my sandwich plain, but it wasn't. She turned to the male employee and told him my problem and he responded, "I know." "I know?" He walked to the warmer, picked up my special order sandwich, put it in a bag and handed it to me. "Mistake." Personally I think he just wanted me to see his happy, smiling face.

Gotta Love Him

There are times when my youngest son and I don't seem to see eye to eye. When we have a difficult time agreeing on what's fair and what isn't. When we do things and say things in the heat of the moment that we regret later. When we might even raise our voices together, and not in song. Sometimes he is just plain annoying, but then sometimes I can be pretty annoying too.
But other times he makes me laugh. I asked the son to come and help me dry the van after I washed it, so it wouldn't get all spotted and this is how he decided to help.

I do love the boy and neither one of us is ever going to tell why the van got washed in the first place.

Today I am thankful for

moments when my kids and I get along.
Angela's bread stick recipe.
dinner as a family.

HOT

Tonight we were all sitting in the living room,
along with the oldest daughter and her hubby,
when the youngest son declared
"I am so Hot!"
Now, we all know that this child
sometimes has a fairly high opinion of himself
but we were a little taken back
by his announcement.
Then he asked
if he could open the window
and we all realized he was talking
about the room temperature
and not his looks.
Whoops.
Our bad.
We were suppose to have
a record breaking high temperature
of 90 degrees today,
but it only got to 88.

Later on I took this picture of the son
because I thought
he was actually doing homework
and I wanted to document the moment.

However when I looked closer
I realized he was
just checking his face book page
and not doing homework at all.

My bad again.

His fashion consultant sister
bought him this
new amazing purple shirt
that he wore to school today.
He had about 39 people
tell him he looked nice
and got at least 4 or 5 hugs.
Who knows?
Maybe he is hot
or maybe it's just
the long sleeved shirt.

New TV Excitement

Tonight the oldest son and the hubby went out and purchased a new 32 inch Digital TV. They hurriedly ate dinner so they could get it up and working. Pretty soon they were watching it and enjoying the improved picture and sound quality. I thought my husband was containing his excitement pretty well until he came to bed and we started to read the Book of Mormon together. I reminded him it was his turn to start reading and he promptly read Channel 9 (instead of Chapter 9). He can try and hide that excitement, but I still know he is thrilled with his new toy.

TP-ed

I went outside this morning
to go to the church and run off the bulletin
and low and behold
there was some extra white here and there in our front yard.
No, it didn't snow
(although it felt like it was cold enough
and I did have to scrape the frost
off the van windows before I could drive it).

Someone had decorated our yard with toilet paper.


Now, I know that people get tp-ed
when someone doesn't like them,
but I also know that people get tp-ed
when someone does like them.
What I don't know is
"How do you tell the difference?"
Like or Dislike?
Do you wrap the toilet paper
clockwise for like
and counter clockwise for don't like?
How about bows?
Do you tie bows in the toilet paper for like
or for don't like?
Perhaps it has to do with
the quality of toilet paper
which is used?
2 ply means like.
Flimsy 1 ply definitely dislike
or perhaps just frugal.
If some paper is
left on the rolls
so it is actually still usable
that probably means really like.
Right?
What does it mean when you add yard trash
to the decorating scheme?
Does this mean you cared enough
to add some special little touches
or does it mean
you really think we have a junky yard
and so it doesn't matter
if you add your trash to ours?


I have thought about this a lot today
trying to figure out if it's like or dislike
and still I'm not absolutely sure.
However I did decide
that anyone who will lovingly wrap
a little car up tight
on a cold, cold night
can't be a bad person,
so it must be like.


Today I am thankful for

my last Sunday afternoon nap for a while.
my grown up Nursery kids who are going to be Sunbeams next week.
baked potatoes.

Toenail Clip?

Now, I have heard of a paper clip





and a hair clip








and even a bag clip









but a toenail clip?

Could this be a new fashion craze?
I envision decorative little bows
clipped to some rather long toenails.
They would look great with flip flops.
If I created these I could make my millions.

Or perhaps this is a necessary item
that you use to clip all those stray toenail clippings together
before you dispose of them properly.
(This is when I wish I was an artist
and I could add some really nice illustrations for you.)

But no, a toenail clip is just the very common item
that I have inadvertently referred to
as toenail clippers
for my entire, uninformed life.

Here's the proof.

Read it right there
on the package -
Toenail Clip.

The things you learn
when your toenail clippers
magically disappear and
you are forced to go and
purchase a new pair.

Which brings up another question.
Why do I refer to this item as a pair
when there is just one of them?
(The picture may be confusing but the second item included in the picture is my absolutely free bonus fingernail clipper,
or would that be a fingernail clip?)

Along with the bonus fingernail clipper
this toenail clip also comes with
a LIFETIME GUARANTEE.
La Cross will repair or replace
(at their option)
implements defective in workmanship or material
unless they are abused or rusted.

However, if the clipper is suppose to be rust resistant
wouldn't rust indicate that perhaps the material
was indeed defective?
Also, does the company have to prove clip abuse?
Does it have to be documented like child abuse,
or can it just be assumed by looking at the resulting damage?

Anyway, back to the guarantee.

All I have to do is package my inferior merchandise and mail it
- post paid and insured- to them.
Now, I don't often insure items that I mail,
but it seems to me that the packaging,
the postage and the insurance
would far exceed the $2.99 that I paid for these clippers.
I'm thinking it would likely be more cost effective
to just purchase a new one.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I would have a hard time
keeping a straight face as I told the postal worker
that I would like to insure my defective toe clip.
And wait, what if I went to all the trouble
of mailing my broken clip to the company
only to discover that it was not defective at all,
but had just reached the end of its lifespan
and sucumbed to a natural death
thus voiding the "lifetime" guarantee.

I am going to go put this purchase
in a very safe place right now
to avoid having to deal with all of these issues
and to keep it from simply disappearing like the last one did.

Today I am thankful for

the ability to see humor in everyday things.
coupons that save me money.
a husband that cooks.

Get a Clue!

I was understandably upset when I read in the newspaper the other day that several of my childhood friends have been sentenced to death row with their executions expected to take place by early Fall.

I guess this is to be expected when you hang out with convicted multi-murders. I knew it had to be coming sooner or later, but I was still saddened, if not surprised.

The sad thing is that the crime that has resulted in their final demise is not the murders. No. No matter how many times the jury came back with a guilty verdict these friends always seemed to get off, escape punishment, walk away, live on, go back to their old ways, and kill again.

No. The crime for which they have received the death sentence is simply that they are old fashioned and out of date. Their lives are no longer relevant to the younger generation and therefore they will be done away with immediately. Replaced by a more updated and realistic group of fashionable felons, that include a football star and a video game creator.

Let's all join in a moment of silence for my friends (and most likely yours).

Professor Victor Plum - the intelligent one who was possibly a plagiarist.
Colonel Michael Mustard - the decorated war hero.
Mrs. White - the matriarch of the group who worked as a nanny.
Mrs. Patricia Gobelin Scarlett Zaffer Peacock - the one with the most husbands.
Miss Josephine Scarlett - the unsuccessful actress and daughter of Mrs. Peacock.
Mr. John Green - the only American in the group, who sometimes referred to himself as Reverend.

May they rest in peace alongside the lead pipe, the wrench, and the revolver.

If you would like to visit and pay your respects, they will most likely be buried beneath the new spa, theater or guesthouse additions being made to the mansion.

Now before you think that I need to get a life. Let me tell you, "I tried and it was too late." The "new and improved" version of The Game of Life is already on all the store shelves and has been for a couple of years. I own it and I have played it and it is just not the same as the original that I enjoyed for hours with my brother on long summer days.

That is why I am giving you fair warning,
Get a "CLUE" now, before it is too late
or hang on to the one you've already got.

Today I am grateful for

Having enough. I went shopping today and didn't find anything I really wanted or needed.
Young Men leaders who put up with teenage boys and try to make a difference in there lives.
A son who is smart enough not to tell me distressing news while he is driving.

My birthmonth gift to myself today was a strawberry banana smoothie from Jack in the Box. I love coupons that make things totally free. No buy 1 get one, just plain free!

My Son's First Driving Casualty

My 16 year old was involved in a hit and run today. The worst part was, I was in the car with him at the time and I didn't even realize that it had happened. It wasn't until we got to our house that I realized something was even wrong. We quickly returned to the scene. But it was too late for the victim. Parts of her were strewn all over the asphalt. My son attempted to resuscitate her, but she was too far gone. Even his magic fixing skill was not enough. Sally the Cell Phone is no more. At least we don't have to report this accident to the insurance company. I guess I know what I want for my birthday now! Today I am thankful for cooler temperatures and RAIN. for washing machines. I wouldn't want to wash clothes with a rock and a bar of soap. that the driving casualty was a cell phone and not a car or a person. My birthmonth present today was not having to drive anyone to or from work. All the cars kept running for another day. Keep your fingers crossed.